Would this change your opinion of a guy when he told you this? This has stopped me approaching girls in the past.

I am very shy around women and have been all my life.
I was born prematurely and had a few problems as a result, weakness down the entire right side of my body. Basically my leg and arm on that side are a little thinner/weaker, I can't move the toes on my right foot at all and the fingers on my right hand move only slowly. I also have a noticable limp which is worse some days than others.
I had to wear callipers on my legs (Like Forrest Gump) until I was 16 years old and was bullied mercilessly/overlooked & often ridiculed by girls.
It hasn't held me back too much, I learned to drive can cycle a bike reasonably well etc

What would you think? Would you still give me a chance?

  • Would make a difference
    13% (13)33% (5)16% (18)Vote
  • Would not make a difference
    87% (86)67% (10)84% (96)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Please comment as to why it would/would not put you off?

0|0
43|6

Most Helpful Girl

  • You sound incredibly brave and strong regardless of any physical weakness you have, you should be proud of how far you've come :)

    It wouldn't bother me at all, I use a cane occasionally myself due to incidents in my past and I know the feeling of thinking you're being stared at a lot by the opposite sex but at the same time being overlooked. It's hard to have much confidence in yourself and your capabilities when you constantly feel like there is something drastically wrong with you.

    It's a confidence thing, it really is :) Once you learn your value and the value you can be to someone else, it will come across when you speak to women.

    To cut a long story short lol no I wouldn't mind in the slightest, I think people who have struggled in life are all the more attractive :)

    2|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 42

  • A. Would make a difference

    Would this change your opinion of a guy when he told you this?
    Likely as I'd probably think he's possibly bitter, resentful, and/or misogynistic towards gals.

    What would you think?
    That considering your premature birth seemed to result in noticeable physical changes I most likely wouldn't be physically attracted to you.

    Would you still give me a chance?
    No as I don't give chances to guys I'm not physically attracted to as most likely they approached me because they found me physically attractive. Tit for tat in my opinion.

    0|0
    0|2
    • classic case of attraction has to be there for the woman

    • and that its not personality, as lots of women say

    • @Metal189
      I find I have a quite uncommon mindset when it comes to dating. Most gals I know would do a pity date and depending on his personality might get roped in.

  • I don't see why your physical discrepancies would deter anyone in any way. you seem like a really nice, optimistic girl and anyone would be lucky to have you; either as a friend or something more. and if anyone has the balls to belittle you in anyway, POUND THE MOFO. He doesn't pay the bills. he doesn't put food on your table. even if he does, he isn't the one who survived so many years of being bullied and discriminated. basically, he's the coward here, not you. you fought for your right to be happy, all he did was spit poison.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I voted it would make a difference but probably not for the reasons you think.

    I'm more scared of things I may say or do that might unintentionally offend or hurt you. I guess I'm not emotionally strong enough? At least those would be my initial thoughts. I'm pretty sure after being friends I could find u charming and still give it a shot. But at first glance I would hesitate. Just being honest :)

    0|1
    0|0
  • I have just gotten out of a relationship with someone with many various medical issues. He had a genetic disorder, which caused him to wear a denture, he does not sweat he has no glands, he doesn't have a nose bridge, and his hair was fair and sparse but as soft as a babies, no bowel, needed blood tranfusions every three weeks, his stomach doesn't absorb an enzyme so he had to take tablets before every meal and snack, he had a chronic lung condition and a breathing aid at home. But I still found him utterly beautiful and loved him no matter what. His medical issues werent even anything to do with our breakup. There are people in this world that cannot look past things like this, and there are people that will. You'll find someone one day you never know the impact you have on someones life. Everyone deserves love no matter what & i personally do not believe in restricting a person from being loved, just because of the cards life has dealt them.

    4|0
    0|0
  • Its not your fault you were born the way you were, and you made a choice to not let you disability hold you down and that is amazing. When the right person comes they won't care if you have callipers on your legs, or weakness in your body they will just care about you and all of you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • <3333

    Your body is nothing to be ashamed of or nothing, its nothing no girl should be judging you for. If she does she's awful, basically. She's inadequate for that, Not you <33333 Of course it wouldn't change my opinion of you. I might even like you more, because we'd both have physical disabilities, & we could relate :)

    0|1
    0|0
  • It all depends on who you are a person and if there is a connection. If you're a nice person you have a better opportunity, but are not guaranteed that "spark". I feel your pain though, I have similar insecurities. I was born 2 months early and have a painful issue with my leg that causes a limp.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it's so impressive that you tell this.
    Personally i actually preffer the shy guys. Being introverted is not the same as being a bad person. I think there are so many empty guys out there who's loud and noisy and attentionseeking and i find that a big turn off. Guys like you often think a lot more about things than others, and you're probably a lot more mature because of the things you've been through, right?
    If you meet a sweet, good hearted girl she would be able to see this, and understand that you're not a freak, but just at shy guy who has experienced a lot of shit. Of course this scars you, and changes you. But you've come out stronger and some day, you'll meet someone who will admire you for it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If I felt a connection with you, the fact that you have imperfections (EVERYONE does) would not deter me from pursuing you. Some insecure/shallow people may say differently. It makes me mad/sad that you had to deal with idiotic people that placed their insecurities on you. F*ck them.

    1|0
    0|0
  • That is so sad. I'm so sorry people were so mean to you. For me of I was attracted to your personality and you were my type personality wise it wouldn't bother me in the slightest

    0|1
    0|0
  • I see no problem with it. Those females must have been stuck up. And it is just plain rude that they would do that. Just keep living your life. Don't let others treat you wrong like that. If I was dating you I would stand up for you. Don't let it hold you back from doing everything that you like doing. Hopefully a good decent girl will come along. At least one who will enjoy you for who you are. Keep your head up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It wouldn't put me off because everybody has their issues. Just so you know, everybody is more concerned about their own and don't actually care about the others.

    Be kind to yourself!

    1|0
    0|0
  • I have this boy in my class, he's lazy, he's messy and he's obese. He's always ridiculed, told off by his parents and our teachers. First, I felt a little bit sorry for him. But, he had a future. He had such an adorable face, so I kept on pestering him to jog to me everytime I hold a donut (lol) and he'd do so. And we've slowly became friends and I've learnt so many things about him. He's nice, he's sensitive and he's not all that bad, so the moral of the story/my opinion is;

    Definitely yes, because *I* would want to know you better, and not because of your appearance or what I've heard from people.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You sound like a beautiful person and just because you are different doesn't mean you should be treated differently. I personally give anyone a chance as long as they're nice and I know them. Keep your head up, dude. People are assholes and I'm very sorry to hear of the bullying. But you sound perfect so any girl who overlooks your good personality is dumb as hell.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It wouldn't matter to me at all! It's admirable that you can be so strong about it. People are jerks. Meh.

    1|0
    0|1
  • No not really, I would see it as a sign you trusted me with your secrets

    0|0
    0|0
    • True, some of my best pals don't even know about it

  • I was about 4 months premature.

    I think if you told me, I'd probably be more attracted to you.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Thanks! how come?

    • Show All
    • Thanks for your kind words, makes me feel somewhat happier :D

    • No worries, love :)

  • This means nothing, shy can be a definite positive thing and can be alluring, physical aliments have nothing to do with hitting on a guy :) good luck hun

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't care, as long as you're not resentful about going through all of this. Bottom line, if you're a nice person then it shouldn't be a factor at all.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Whilst it woudn't change my opinion of you, if this was one of the first things you told me as we're in the ' getting to know stage' then I'd probably be put off and wondering why you felt the need to bring it up?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Listen, I was bullied when I was a kid too. Some of us girls are assholes around this age; believe me. And if you're different, it's SOOOO "bad". But if you are different, that means you are a strong person, inside and out. You sound like a really sweet guy and I'm sure any girl would love to have you as their boyfriend. Looks don't matter, the heart does!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Honestly, for some it may make a difference because the world is filled with shallow people. But others do see past things like this, it doesn't matter if you're disabled if you have a good heart and are a nice person. Personality goes such a long way too. Have you tried organizations or groups of people that may be experiencing the same thing as you so that you can relate to them?

    0|0
    0|0
  • It wouldn't put me off just cause of something that can't be helped but 4 who you are I wish people wo u ld look at inner beauty instead.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No given they had a beautiful spirit and soul. It wouldn't matter in such a case.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Chances are I wouldn't care

    1|0
    0|0
  • No it would not change my opinion. I base my attraction to someone as a whole not just one or two details.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It wouldn't put me off. It's something you can't help or do anything about. Not to mention that movie Forrest Gump completely got to me on a deep level. Anyways you sound great :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't care. That's something you had or have absolutely no control over. If you're funny and have a great personality, it wouldn't matter one bit.

    0|0
    1|0
  • we are all different and all have flaws NO one is perfect and yet we are all perfect just the way we are. I agree with the comments that if there is a connection there's no stopping what might yet to come :)

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would definitely give you a change. I do like to see people judged like that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    12

What Guys Said 6

  • So I hate to tell you this but I'm in a similar position. I have a rather visible disability and it does have a very profound effect. Most women say they wouldn't care but when it comes down to it they do. This is not speculation either. I've been told this to my face many times. I'm sorry about your health problems. I have it even worse, actually. So sorry but hypotheticals are different from reality. And in reality, yes. It makes a big difference.

    I think most of them don't want to look like bad people. Maybe they've even convinced themselves they would give you a shot. But the reality is far from what you're reading here, isn't it? I think we both know it is.

    0|0
    0|0
    • It is good to see you have a positive attitude. Care to share a little more about your own disability and how it affects you?

  • I shouldn't make a difference, but a lot of women, regardless of what they say, are very superficial when it comes to looks. Not all of them, but a lot of them. But don't worry, if you doesn't like you for you, then you don't want her around anyway.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Im so sorry to hear that man, I was born with fucked up feet and I have always walked funny and people would make fun of the way I walk. it sucked and definitely lowered my self esteem. but don't let that make you feel like no girl would want you, i have had a few gf's and maybe they weren't all that great it still did it even tho im ugly and walk weird

    0|0
    0|0
  • Women might like you as a person, but they won't be turned on. Women are turned on by masculine traits. Ironically, one of those is actually not caring what they or others think, do your thing and if she doesn't like it then...that's their problem not yours.

    Keep yourself positive and aggressive and you'll do fine,

    0|0
    0|0
  • You sound like a decent, well adjusted guy.
    The right lady is out there waiting for you.
    Good luck.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I know exactly where your coming from, I wore leg braces most of my life due to deformed ankles; but I also wore glasses and hearing aids as well and I had a speech impediment. But I still managed to get a date at the age of 15.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...