I don't want to hurt my friend, but I don't like not being with him?

A friend of mine asked me out (a few times) and I said no. Now that he is in a relationship I've been kind of upset about it and think I really like him.

He has picked up on me acting strange and now I'm worried about whether he might break up with her for me. I think it would make me happy (as selfish as that sounds, and no I haven't said anything like that to him). I am really scared that I'll hurt him (why I said no in the first place).

I know you'll probably think I'm over reacting since nothing has happened yet but from what he has been saying he seems to be considering it. I am terrified. It is exactly what I had wanted but I'm afraid of messing up and not being as good as her.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Need to make sure this isn't just you wanting what you can't have now. Because if he ends this and then comes to you because he thought thats what you wanted that would in no way be fair to him.

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    • That's what I'm really scared of. I keep thinking how could I have not noticed all along. A lot of my friends have been pretty convinced for a while now that it was inevitable we'd wind up together. I'm really scared that I could end up wrong and not feel as much again if this happens. I don't know how to tell

    • Really think about it, and do what you think you have to. Obviously not breaking the two of them up thats up to him but you know what I mean.

What Guys Said 3

  • next time he ask you to go out with him say yes and go from there he might think your better then the girl he is with now

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  • Women always want what they can't have

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  • seems as if you're going in thinking you might hurt him, why?

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What Girls Said 3

  • in my opinion we all know ourselves better than anyone else. IF you rejected him because you had a feeling you were going to hurt him. Then its best you listen to that little voice. You know that there is something that's in you that will cause him harm in a romantic relationship dynamic.

    Give yourself space to get over it. Don't got against your gut feelings/instincts.

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  • You should think about why you rejected him initially.

    He looks more appealing now, because he isn't available and someone else has expressed interest in him.

    I get like that with food, sometimes...

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  • You should follow your heart and mind

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