Do more women like a shy guy or an outgoing guy?

I consider myself outgoing

I'm just curious if you had two guys with equal qualities and features which would get the date me pick.

Some explanation would be nice too but not necessary


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dude however girls will say that they like shy guys..but the truth is that they actually don't. Shy guys never appeal to women. Or they really don't know what shyness is...

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    • That's an interesting prospective, do you think gals are actually this way? So far I can see the appeal of both

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    • Fuck that I'm so far from a shy guy I might as well be a damn alien. I read the whole article and good stuff. Thanks for sharing that

      . You have to be right about what they think a shy guy is cause that just doesn't seem appealing at all for anyone or any reason

    • Honestly I feel like a dumb ass for even asking this question now. Should have said something like do women like a guy that will approach them or do they want a guy that sits back and smiles

What Girls Said 18

  • Depends on the guy. A shy guy who never wants to go outside and/or be around people would be a drag. As would an outgoing guy who never wanted to spend time alone and always had to be outside somewhere.

    I like well balanced people. I'm introverted, but I enjoy socializing to some degree. I could date either as long as they complimented my personality.

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    • I don't exactly follow. Maybe I don't know what a shy person actually is. Shy people don't like to go out and do stuff?

      And outgoing doesn't want to be a homebody?

      Maybe I'm neither of those

    • My example was just in abosolute generalizations. A shy guy is more likely to not socialize as much. Perhaps with a small group of people, but at a party or an outing he'd be off in a corner to himself too nervous/uncomfortable to talk to anyone.

      An outgoing guy would be more likely to want to go out and socialize with medium to large groups of people. Instead of paying attention to one individual he would pay attention to multiple people for an extended period of time.

      In itself there is NOTHING wrong with these personality types. However in a relationship dynamic, the qualities can become unattractive.

    • Okay this makes so much more sense thank you for clearing this up. I can absolutely see where you're coming from to thank you very much

  • I prefer an outgoing guy because I need someone to balance out my introverted personality, and get me out of the house and doing stuff. I also have a lot of anxiety so its good to have someone who isn't afraid to do some of the things that scare me (even though most seem simple to most people its a huge deal for me and is hard to get past).

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    • That I can fully understand, having someone to bring us out into the vast world can be really nice at times. The balance makes a lot of sense too. Thank you so much for your thoughts I enjoy these things

  • I'm fairly introverted and I would prefer someone who is shy as well, just because I feel like a shy person would understand me or my behavior much more easily than an outgoing person would.
    But he can't be so shy that he doesn't want to do anything social.
    I hope this made sense lol

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    • Yes it did make perfect sense. So its just easier to relate to a shy person a long as they're somewhat social. Got it thank you sweetie

    • No problem!

  • I'm extremely outgoing, and so i generally would pick a shy guy bc he'd tame my outgoingness lol. I love the guys that are really shy at first, but when you get them they can't shut up. :)

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  • I'm a really outgoing person and am best friends with an introvert, but surprisingly I'd rather have somebody that's more towards outgoing but not quite as outgoing as I am. I'd prefer someone who is adventurous and not an introvert because I like to converse with people and have them equally interested in the conversation, and most of the shy people I've met tend to not like conversing or giving their opinion as much as I do... Lol. I also like to know what's wrong when I ask, and not have them try to deal with their problems themselves. :-) i think there are benefits to both personalities but I'm more attracted to someone who likes to get involved in the action, so to speak. :-)

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  • I don't trust outgoing guys. I know it sounds lame, but I've always been sorta the assertive one in my past relationships i.e. I'm the one that got the ball rolling, but they usually always pick up after that.

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    • i dont think that sounds lame. Although I really don't understand what you mean about trust haha. I like the assertiveness though

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    • How dare you not trust me! :-P

  • I like introvert because I can relate. I love having to not explain myself and for some reason introverts get it, but my bf is an opposite. It's true that opposites attract. He is a social butterfly and I do not mind staying home for long periods. On the other hand we can pick at eachother for these reasons.

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    • Huh thats pretty interesting. So introvert just kinda understand what the other is feelings?

    • Yes they understand. And most don't like small talk either. I know I don't.

  • I tend to like outgoing guys who are shy around me. So I don't know what category i would fall in to.

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    • I can kinda see how that might work. Like a guy crushing on you real hard but normally outspoken?

    • Yeah, I mean I'm the same way too. So our dynamic is really slow. Most of it is my fault. He asked me to hangout twice and has suggested other times but i either get too nervous and don't say anything or I ramble on.

  • I prefer shy guys as they are easier to have fun and tease a bit if u know they like u
    Its also pretty good feeling making strong confident guy go weak at the knees in ur presences

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    • Oh my I can imagine that would be quite entertaining lol
      Thank you!

  • Outgoing because Im an extrovert. I find some shy guys annoying.

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  • I'd be happy to go out with either, as I'm quite introverted, I'd find a shy guy more relatable in that sense as we'd have that in common. However, as I would like to have more confidence, an outgoing guy would definitely help - as in that it would be easier to keep the conversation going, and help bring me out of my shell I guess. :)

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  • I'd prefer an outgoing guy, just because I can be kind of shy myself. Also, outgoing can be associated with being friendly and confident, both attractive qualities.

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    • Okay cool I'm glad to hear that. Thank you.

      I like a shy girl, kinda balances things out I guess

    • I'm confident (maybe too confident) and still shy at times.

  • I'd prefer an outgoing guy be because I'm more shy or outgoing depending on who I am with and am not as comfortable with someone who talks less than me. That would leave a lot of dead air between us.

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    • Definitely makes sense. Seems like things would be balanced out well that way

  • i love guys who are adventurous and outgoing! spontaneous things are the best

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    • Shy guys can be adventurous and spontaneous. As a matter of fact I'm more spontaneous than most outgoing guys because it's unpredictable.

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    • Naaaah outgoing guys are not spontaneous. That wouldn't make sense if they talk alot.

    • True, I leave nothing to the imagination xD

  • I'm a reserved kind of girl so an outgoing guy is what I find attractive.

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  • Shy guys don't need women, they need babysitters.

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  • I have no preference. Shy would be nice because I am pretty shy and we would be similar, but outgoing would also be good because he would help bring me out of my shell and fill any silence.

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    • Also you are very cute

    • I can understand that makes total sense.
      And thank you (:
      If you weren't anonymous I might say the same (;

What Guys Said 6

  • 90% will pick outgoing.

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    • You outgoing?

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    • Yeah it's like these moments where I'm shy and don't say anything hardly and then these moments where I say too much. Idk.

    • I think I understand what you're saying. I wouldn't doubt even the most outgoing person has their quiet moments

  • I consider myself shy at times, but I think some girls like shy guys and some like outgoing guys. That aspect seems to be 50/50.

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    • I used to be shy, and I've steadily become more outgoing as I've come into my own and gained confidence. I've seen both sides of the spectrum. Shy me got very little attention from women lol

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    • A babysitter? Lull
      Harsh much huh

      Hey if you can get tail and be shy too then you're doing something right obviously

    • LOL!! Yep. 👍

  • Definitely outgoing!

    Even the most outgoing females are painfully passive when it comes to guys!

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    • Are they really? I never been noticed lol but seems like outgoing is the majority

  • You could do a poll next time FYI. I'm guessing they like the outgoing guy

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    • Yeah I almost did but I've done like 4 in a row and I wanted to see more opinions. I might redo this though

  • obviously outgoing

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  • I think American women, and men too are looking outgoing people. It's a cultural thing.

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    • That could be so. I wonder what of other cultures people prefer

    • Introverted people are more respected in most other countries, but that could be changing, America is a superpower and today the world seems smaller because of the internet and TV etc. cultures may shift their view.

    • I imagine they might be similar to my foreign ex's they think most American are loud obnoxious and dumb

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