How come nobody can teach me how to approach a woman?

How come nobody can teach me how to approach a woman?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It differs... and something work with some types that won't work with others... and sometimes even if it's universally accepted, certain people have to learn "the hard way." Sometimes people just aren't ready to take advice.

    1) I agree with certain "dating gurus" on some things, though I believe it's not so much the words you say but the general "look" or "idea."

    Even if you have so mauch going for you, it could be some tiny thing that could make or break your chances.

    Part of MY problem, for example, is that I am working on selling "the brand" to the wrong crowd. I'm not trying to, but I'm surrounded by "the wrong crowd" for me. Once in a while, I'd get a hit, but that's really down to numbers. It'd be like trying to sell tampons to guys. It's gonna be a tough sell; an uphill battle.

    It's smarter to show "your brand" to people who are likely to buy that sort of thing. I don't see any ads for tax services when I watched Saturday morning cartoons. I'd see ads for cool light up shoes, or action figures, or other toys.

    I know my market. But the market is small (tiny), and I have very little ACCESS to that market.

    2) Figure out who you want to be. I was reading an article about the 4 archetypes of masculine male, and I agree with the general idea. It seems like the happier, more secure guys follow at least one of these archetypes (even perhaps without "knowing" them).

    3) Figure out your market within that. I'm not saying that if you're more "sensitive" that you should try to be something you're not because it looks cool. Don't try to be James Bond, unless you're naturally like that. I AM saying that you use your gifts to "specialize" and make it work.

    That's a small part of it. Nobody has all the answers; we've argued for years, and the advice changes based on society.

    But... if you aren't ready... then forcing it still won't work.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Approaching a woman is one of those natural moments of life that you just have to figure out for yourself. That is what every other man has done. They may not score on the first try, but they learn from their mistakes and get the hang of being a gentleman :)

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    • With all due respect I'm too old to be doing trial and error with girls

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    • Maybe the trials and errors with women are not your style.. have you ever considered dating sites. They may seem tacky or stupid to some people but I've met many couples who are happy to have met each other on sites like eharmony.com or match.com... you should give them a try

    • Actually I met my first and only gf who became my fiancĂ© via online dating. Since me and her broke up a year ago I haven't gotten success online

  • There is no quick fix, and laziness is a massive turn off. And there aren't any tricks to it, men who buy in to that sort of thing are idiots. Secret is be attractive, and charming.

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  • Hygiene is the number one thing you need to work on.
    You level of respect and effection. Basically respect her.
    Do not I repeat do not be cocky I personally hate that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
    Bring your a game on eg be as funny as possible, try to fing out what she enjoys and share as much knowledge as you can on the particular subject the rest comes naturally.
    This is just my opinion :)

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    • Why are you saying he needs to work on Hygiene? Do you know him personally? or are you going by his profile pic? I'm overweight and short, but I don't have bad hygiene.

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    • I don't think she meant it personally that you lack hygiene. Just that it's an important facet to what she deems that a guy approaching a girl should have.

    • Of course!!! goes without saying

What Guys Said 10

  • What yadday said. You want to approach women?

    1. get in shape.
    2. Learn social skills/game.
    3. Practice and learn how to strike up playful conversation with women.

    Life takes work. I don't like it either, but everything in life that's good or quality or desirable takes work and practice to get. Good jobs are hard to get, quality firearms cost $500 or more, nice cars cost a lot of money, and if you want a cute girlfriend/wife, you have to work for it.

    Here. Some good music to help get you in the mood.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-srrlLpfzA

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    • What do firearms have to do with anything?

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    • Why thank you.

    • Andy speaks truth...listen to what he said!

  • You think you already know how. You need to be prepared to change what you believe is true to absorb new ideas, or it's not possible.

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    • No I don't know how? If I did I wouldn't be asking here

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    • No, it means they're a bunch of carpet munching lesbians.

      Or stuck up princesses who have been brainwashed expecting some sweet good-guy lawyer in a Ferrari to come pick their fat ass up off the street.

      Or they aren't-exactly-seeing-anyone-but-there-is-this-guy-they-hook-up-with-who-they-are-not-quite-in-love-with-but-think-maybe-if-they-tried-it-could-be-something-but-he's-so-busy-right-now-we-don't-have-time-for-a-relationship.

      There are dozens of reasons why you might get rejected, and most of the top 10 actually have -nothing- to do with you.

    • It's not worth the humiliation

  • Maybe the issue is that you never listen, you're so sure that what you're being told "will never work".

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    • ...when it works for the rest of us guys!

    • Keep going to the gym if you want.

    • See? Never listens. Always assumes... either he knows what's going to be said, or he knows in advance it won't work...

  • Why are you expecting someone to do your work for you?

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  • Whoa! Amaze! Welcome back MTL_GUY. Not the same w/o you :)

    And uh, just read the stuff at the bottom of my BIO.

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    • Hah yeah right u won't get chicks with that. No girl likes a guy who is obsessed with their body like MISCers are.

  • too many factors, variations, variety, etc involved. that's why.

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  • Step 1: Remove shirt
    Step 2: Flex muscles
    Step 3: Acquire ladies

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  • We've spoken before. Have you considered trying to make yourself more attractive to women?

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    • How do you mean? My only problem is that I'm shy

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    • I get it. I'm ugly. I'm done

    • Well, if you're done would you mind swapping bodies with my brother's friend? She was disfigured from osteogenesis imperfecta and she could do NOTHING to improve her appearance. How about my friend with FAS? He can do nothing to improve his appearance either. They would both gladly trade places with you and I'm quite sure they would affect the changes you seem unwilling to even attempt.

      You might not see it this way, Asker, but I say this to you with kindness. I believe you can affect changes that would make you more attractive to women, both changes from within and without. You are, for whatever reason, unwilling to do so. Part of me suspects you might be worried that there's nothing you can do or that you are too old. I don't believe that's the case. I would like to see you happy with someone, and I know you would too. This I think is much more likely if you start making changes, not all at once, to improve your attractiveness to women.

  • Because there's no sure fire way.

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    • Yeah but there has to be some basics

    • I know people try to make up things and try to claim that they have a "formula" to picking up women. There's no formula. If a girl give you a vibe that she may be attracted to you just go and talk to her.

    • What vibe is that

  • MTL_GUY!!! Hahaha I remember you cx

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