Boyfriend going to hangout with new female friend (feeling insecure)?

My boyfriend and I have been dating seven months now. Recently we went through a rough patch where I'm trying to go to school but also want a break from working before I get back into working till I retire (planning on being a lawyer) and anyways he got tired of me asking for little things like money for food and a slush. So we argued and hit a rough patch but lately he has been more affectionate. Bought me a new game and started offering me money again. Then I realized he was texting a new girl. I soon found out it was all day every day for the past week almost. And recently he told me his "friend" wants to hangout and I kind of got mad because I just moved to the city and don't know anyone or anything and I have begged him numerous times to hangout with me but when he does it always seems like I'm forcing him to and it breaks my heart. I have no friends here and he is basically my only friend aside from my mom who takes me to movies now. But that's once a week. I live with him and so at night I checked his phone out of curiosity (I know psycho here) and his texts seem flirty with this girl and I just realized their texts seem like they just met. So now today is the day he is going to hang out with her and I don't feel right about it but I don't want to stop him either because I caused him so much stress lately. I caught him once before nearly sexting this other girl in the beginning of our relationship. After a lengthy talk mixed with tears I gave him a second chance. But now it seems like he's back at it again and I asked him numerous times if he would cheat on me but he said no every single time and I even told him I wasn't his girlfriend anymore and he said so we can sleep with other people? And I said yeah then he said he wouldn't because he loves me. Now I think I'm just being insecure but it still bothers me that he would hang out willingly with another friend rather then me when he knows I have no friends... Is it right for me to feel this way?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Man or Woman...if you are in any kind of relationship the person in question has NO BUSINESS ever being with someone of the opposite sex. Unless their partner is there also. A woman should not hang out with a guy "friend", a guy should not hang out with a woman "friend". There is never a valid reason for this to happen. if you have to hang out with that person, then you don't need to be in a relationship. there is always a chance something will happen. I don't care how long you have been married or together...

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think you have good reason for concern. between the flirty nature of the texts (although that may be you reading into it), his history of sexting, flirting, cheating, and the stress your relationships seem to have gone through I think you have good reason for concern.

    where did he meet this girl? why wouldn't he bring you along to hangout and expand your friend circle?

    it does sound to me like he's testing the waters with this girl to see where things go

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  • I hope he wasn't testing the waters when he said is it ok if I Sleep with someone else after breakup. Don't show any signs of jealously or mistrust. Just tell him that you totally trust him that he wouldn't cheat on true love. If.he seems to mend his own ways that's awesome but if he sways the other way... He ain't worth the time. Go out make friends be social show him your a girl with potential and can have an identity of her own

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    • I could try but it doesn't help when I am shy

    • Try being friends with Girls who have a bf or are engaged try your social media (facebook, yearbook, forums) Being friends with couples is easy n less stressful once you get comfortable hang out with their friends and eventually try making your own

  • I see a clear lack of communication here. You seem in the right to feel the way you do and at this point it sounds like he's having an "emotional affair". Maybe he hasn't done anything physical but the potential seems to be there.

    If the two of you can't figure out how to communicate and these things continue I'd say you're better off finding somewhere else to stay. Before emotional abuse can come into the picture.

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What Girls Said 4

  • i can see you're side of this. you need to decide whether you trust him or not, i think trust is the foundation of relationships- especially when it comes to talking to people of the opposite sex.

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    • I do trust him, but not a lot. I just met him and seven months for me seems like nothing. But I understand trust is the foundation of any relationship and I think when he gets home I am going to confront him about it calmly and tell him how I feel.

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    • I've tried, but it leads to a huge argument... I already texted him saying we need to talk tonight when you get back and that I hopes he makes good desicions...

    • well, have a last argument with him and don't let him leave till things are settled.

  • Fuck that! No guy would want his girl going to hang out with another guy. Girl he is trying to get to know this girl he obviously likes her. Leave and leave now dont put up with this shit! Go to your moms and dont answer his calls texts. What he is doing is wrong! Teach him a lesson the more you want to talk to him and fix things the more it will push him closer to this girl. If you leave now and show you won't put up with this shit he may realize he's going to o lose you and stop persuing this girl. That is your best bet!

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    • He is trying to have his cake and eat it too! Take his cake away now!! The quicker you do the fsdter he will realize your not putting up witj his crap if you dont then you will lose him. I've been here before but i didn't put up with it i totally ignored his ass for 2 weeks he realized i meant more to him and stopped persuing the girl but just take my advice now before it is to late!

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    • Yes and it would be ok but no man would feel comfortable with his girl flirting with another man. Thats a red flag right there. It's obviously not innocent

    • And him hiding the text messaged yes its ok to have girl friend but just friends isn't the case by all his actions and thats i meant by no guy would put up with that

  • I wouldn't trust him with this new girl one bit. That's shady as fuck.

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    • I don't but I want to you know? To show him I'm not accusing him of anything... But this is shady and my mind is wandering to the fact that he is going to go full on cheating instead of emotional cheating (there is a difference)

    • There's a difference between you being unjustifiably jealous of him hanging out with other friends and you being jealous of him hanging out with a girl he recently met and has been flirting with behind your back. That's grounds to walk, imo.

  • You shouldn't ask him for money, but also he shouldn't be talking to another girl and hanging out with her. You're supposed to be the only girl he does that with.

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