Skinny, athletic, fit girls what if a bigger guy approached you?

Hey :)

I'm a 21 year old college student. I'm trying to date in college because it has never worked out for me before. I'm really tall but also a bit overweight at BMI 27.

In my school most of the girls are skinny, athletic and gorgeous so even though I try not to have unrealistic standards it happens that I fall for such a girl.

I'm a really active person I go to the gym, go running ( half marathon was my farthest) etc so I'm not lazy.

What would you do if a guy like me who is not mega fat but visibly overweight (shirts XL) would approach you?

It's not as I commented below that I'm delusional or have unfair standards. With me it's like I fall for women because of their personality and some of those girls have been the skinny, gorgeous, athletic type just fyi


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you approached me, I'd treat you the same as everyone else. I love meeting new people. I definitely wouldn't blow you off because of your size.

    • You know I mean approaching as in flirting, my goal would be getting a date I guess not (just) friendship.

    • Ohh Well I haven't started dating yet so all I could offer is friendship.

    • Thanks!


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 10

  • Hey :)

    I don't fall into the skinny athletic amazingly gorgeous category lol but I personally like bigger guys, not just tall, but with meat on them so they're well built and bear-like. So for me, if you approached me I would consider myself very lucky :)

  • It's all about finding the right girl. Not all skinny gorgeous girls like skinny guys. Some of them like guys who are teddy bears. It depends on the girl. I've known plenty of girls who've actually preferred guys who were more than just muscles and sports.

    • Teddy bear guys means guys who are in pretty good shape right? I am in good shape fitness / sports wise but I definitely have a stomach that disqualifies me from going to the beach etc. I have been called fat a lot in HS

    • I guess what I want to avoid at all cost is to get some kind of creepy reputation

    • Teddy bear means the guy is really nice to cuddle with.

  • I've dated guys who were a bit overweight before and it was never a problem. We do try to get fit together tho :p

    I guess it depends how you approach me. I dobt respond very well to random pick up lines :p

  • I have never dated overweight men, simply not attracted.

    I would politely decline.

    But you don't sound THAT overweight.

    • According to BMI it's about 25 lbs too much. I'm not sure how exact it is since some of the extra weight is definitely muscle according to my doctor but some is undeniably chub haha

  • I would nicely turn him down.

  • You sound great! I wouldn't mind if you approached me. I'm a runner as well (and so are a lot of girls), so you'd have that in common with them. I wouldn't worry, lots of girls like bigger guys!

    • I wish I would meet some :( To me it seems like I'm absolutely disgusting to women. You may think I must be and idiot with too high standards but I promise I'm not. Sometimes I just can't control who I'm crushing on and there's a lot of pretty girls at my school :(

    • Show All
    • Being single can really suck sometimes, but try to remain positive.
      Don't let that bring you down, a magnetic personality is very attractive.

    • Definitely don't have that haha most days I don't talk to anybody. Thank you so much for your time and advice!

  • You sound great just the way you are. Big guys are attractive, and I’m sure that girls would have no problem finding you sexy :)

    • Thank you, until now no girl has even found me good enough to date. I get it though I know I'm ugly

    • I'm sure you're not ugly... don't underestimate yourself like that. You're probably dealing with shallow b*tches :D

  • Why does her body matter so much? Have you tried actually getting to know her on the inside rather than just looking at her?

    • Doesn't matter. I'm just scared she might have negative associations with guys that are not in perfect shape, like lazy, unhealthy etc I don't know

  • I don't have a problem with big guys at all... I'm literally underweight. If they have nice facial features and a nice personality then that's all it takes for me really.

    • Thanks for your answer. I hope you are healthy at your low weight!

  • why don't you try to loose weight so you don't feel so insecure?

    • I have and I'm trying to do so. It's just hard for me with uni stress and all that so I make a lot of excuses. I'm very sad lately about being alone and my only source of happiness and gratification is food. I know it's stupid but I'm weak :(

    • why don't you try to date girls your size?i mean its not really fair to those girls.. ( who i promise have to work really hard for those bodies) know?just don't be selfish..

    • I've tried that. I swear I don't have unrealistic stnadards here, maybe I do. I was just going by " oh hey she is nice, I like her" and whoever happened to this person I would be interested in no matter how she looked like. Some of those girls happened to be the athletic ones.

What Guys Said 1

  • Have you tried approaching any?

    Maybe you should lift more by the way if you want a better body. long-distance cardio produces a lot of cortisol, which lowers your testosterone levels and increases your oestrogen levels, which leads to less muscle mass and more fat, and more fat leads to increased oestrogen, it's a vicious cycle. Look at the bodies of marathon runners, they're skinny because they have no muscle, but they also have a bit of fat too. Not a good look. Sprinters have much better bodies - short, high intensity cardio such as sprinting actually boosts your testosterone levels.

    I'd say that would be the best way to get those athletic girls.