I am needy in my relationship and it's ruining everything. Help!

It's really hard being in a constantly changing relationship. Much of the year my bf and I spend time together. We pretty much live at my place. However, during spring break or summer, we tend to spend more time apart. He goes home and I stay at my place. He finally has time to spend with family and work on projects and fill his summer with hobbies he would normally not have time for. I live alone and I don't have family around nor do I have many friends. I moved to this city alone and it's been a tough ride. I found my bf 3 years ago here when I needed someone and it sort of evolved ever since into a friendship and partnership, I have never felt like I needed anyone else except in reality I need my own frikin life and friends!! It's so frustrating and hard when break time comes. I get it into my head that he is happy to be apart and doesn't really miss my company even though that is not true. He is just enjoying things he likes to do. So in this time I tend to get more crabby and needy, I complain if he doesn't text back within a reasonable number of hours or I even get inwardly jealous when he goes out with his extended family. I question why I wasn't invited too. But I don't need to be invited everywhere. I know that. So why do I still act like such a crazy person? I am getting more depressed by the day and recoiling into my shell to avoid being a needy gf and arguing with him.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're probably like this because of your own insecurities. I'm quite needy in the case that I need reassurance from my boyfriend because of my own insecurity. My counsellor spotted it and I discussed it with my boyfriend who understands that I need reassurance sometimes when I start feeling low so maybe you should discuss how you're feeling with your boyfriend so he understands. He'll know that you see there's a problem and you want to work with him to overcome it. When you start thinking about him and wanting to see him really bad, think about what you can do to improve yourself. Pass the time with painting, writing, seeing friends, having a hot bath - do whatever YOU like and has nothing to do with your boyfriend. You should be able to be happy without your partner and this is how you do it. I've been the same and I've found that just focusing on yourself and distracting yourself helps you grow and also keeps you distracted.
    Your boyfriend loves you so don't make yourself believe silly things. If he didn't want/love/miss you, then he wouldn't be with you!

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    • I wish it were that easy. We went through a rough patch a year ago where he made a big mistake. I forgave him since it was repairable. But that's just made me more nervous now. I mean he has been really good at making it up to me and showing me he is sorry and I shouldn't be afraid but I still am sometimes. I just feel like I'm forgotten when we are apart because he gets so busy with his life and things he does with family. I mean he and I have a cute couples app we used to use when we were together but I was at work and he was at school. He used to send me messages on it etc. Even though we would see each other again at night. Now he doesn't even use that app. He just texts me daily or calls. I don't know how to feel about that.

    • I guess that's the price you pay for going back to a cheater. Forget the app, you're not going to use it all your life, you grow out of things like that. Btw, cheating isn't a mistake.

What Guys Said 3

  • yeah i see this happen a lot to people. luckily for me when I was thrown into a new environment i didn't have anything to cling too so i had to start ground up. i find that people who were social and then something changes and they have like 1-2 friends left get screwed because they try to hang onto the 2 friends they have instead of dropping everything and starting a new

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  • You could be like me and avoid relationships altogether. They take too much time and emotional commitment. There's so much drama that it's ultimately not worth it. Find something better to do with your life than meaningless attachments

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  • i am really short of words, can't finally believe i got my boyfriend back this is my testimony about the man that brought back my man Dr John he gave me the heart and confident to trust in he within the period of 2days right now we are living happily and getting very ready and set for our wedding, i am so much happy knowing full well there are real, true spell casters who can really make things happen within the shortest possible time. for help you can reach him :PROPHETBAZ34@YAHOO.COM

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's because like you said you need your own life! You should have a separate circle of friends. I don't think anybody could be such an introvert that they wouldn't have a single friend. That's just super weird! I am sure you must be working..so interact more with your co workers...get in touch with your old friends. Or join a class or something to get a new hobby. There you will meet people too.

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