Guys: how do you deal with casual sex?

I have two scenarios and I want to know how you'd personally handle them or have you've handle them in the past:

1) you aren't looking for a relationship because of work/school/moving/whatever but you're attracted to a girl and think she's cool. What do you do?

2) you don't want a relationship because of the same reasons as above, but you've been having a rather intense friends with benefits situation in which case you started to develop feelings for the girl but don't want to date her or anyone and just want casual. What do you do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As how you describe them. I see both situations involving some lying, either to her or yourself. Neither of those situations sound very casual. To me, casual sex means something emotionless. Maybe some small talk. I really don't wanna' know much about you, your cat or past relationships...you're middle name. You're technically just using each others bodies to fulfill a sexual need. If I catch strong feelings for her i'm letting her know asap. Making a connection with someone isn't that easy.

    I've always found the excuse too busy with work/school as ridiculous. You'll find the time if you're open to a relationship.

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What Guys Said 9

  • 1. All it takes is really mentioning casually that you aren't looking for a relationship. Then when hooking up it'll be understood that's what it is.

    2. The feelings will remain as an infatuation and nothing more and just enhance the sex. Basically when hooking up, going in knowing it's a hook up and nothing more makes it easier because it's understood where it's at and staying. This makes it really hard to get hurt if she moves on.

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  • I don't do 1 or 2 and never have. I am always looking forward to a possible relationship or I don't go out with her.

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  • I'd just have a relationship. It doesn't mean you're married and it may not last forever.

    Being busy with school is hilarious. Talk to any parents - somehow we are married yet have 1/10th the time we did when we were in school.

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    • I agree, it's a BS excuse.

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    • So you pretty much dated and now want to be friends while living apart.

      I see your future bf/gfs loving that friendship.

    • We didn't date. We were casual. We'd be casual for a while and end up getting in some kind of fight about us and then we wouldn't talk for a month or whatever and then the cycle would repeat. This last time, it didn't work again and we decided we couldn't even be friends. Then we ended up contacting each other and talking it out for a night but decided the next day not to go down that road again because he's leaving a week later.

  • 1a) Noble Route: Proposition her - tell her the scoop and see if she's down for a friends-with-benefits.
    1b) Less-than-noble Route: Pretend to date her until such time that I can't be with her anymore and break up.

    2) Uhhhh...keep the status quo? I mean, if I've developed rather intense feelings for her then I'm going to relationship that shit up. I'm not letting her fall for another guy and leave me holding my heart-broken dick (figuratively- and literally-speaking).

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  • Developing feelings and having good reasons for being casual is going be a big contradiction in a person's head. That's the kind of thing that makes someone start being difficult.

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  • 1. I do not have sex because I want to save it for one girl I find to be extremely special when I marry her. I stay friends with this girl and have lots of fun, but at all costs avoid being alone in dark private places where it could easy progress sexually and if my adrenaline and hormones get too intense I may have to leave.

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  • Seems like anytime feelings start to develop a relationship follows, regardless of the circumstances.

    Its hard to avoid those things.

    If I'm attracted and have a busy life I'll try to hook up anyways but let her know my intentions up front so no one gets hurt

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  • 1. Nope.

    2. Continue as normal.

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    • 1) nope? What do you mean?

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    • Interesting. What would make you decide to end something like that, then? Nothing?

  • casually :)

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    • So guys would just keep it casual even if they have feelings for the girl? How do you do that?

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