I caught him in a lie - do I let it go or do I let him go?

I've been dating this guy for 4 months now and everything has been going great.

My friend and I were talking the other week about the "favorites" on snapchat. Well we discovered that some people have the username that they use on instagram. I did a search on the guy that i'm dating and saw that he is pretty frequently snapchating this other girl. (A girl that he had never mentioned to me yet.) *I am perfectly fine with girls and guys being just friends, that does not bother me one bit if I am told straight up the situation.

Anyways, I asked the guy I'm dating who this username was (I knew exactly who it was because of instagram) and he lied to me saying it was his buddy Rob. I said no it's not and he looked at me completely dumbfounded. Eventually he admitted it was this girl but the reason he didn't say that was because he didn't want me to be worried. He kept apologizing all day on Sunday then continued apologizing into Monday. I do know he feels bad because he prides himself on being an honest guy. I just kept repeating to him that honesty is the best policy and I don't like people who lie.

What do other girls/guys think of this? Am I over reacting?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He's up to something. I mean come on, he's hidden her and lied right to your face. He even added the fake dumbfounded look. And if he had to lie and is Snapchatting, he's flirting with her. Emotional needs are being met in their communication.
    I would absolutely drop him so fast it would make his head spin. I'd get the F out of that right now if I were you. Don't waste any more time with him. You know now that he values you so little that he would do this, but also lie to you.
    Props to you for confronting him and not backing down.

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    • I agree with you but it just sucks because we aren't officially in an actual relationship but just dating "exclusively" therefore I think if I let this slide for now. If he does anything in the future then he would be dropped for good. It's just so hard because I have my emotions wrapped up in him already so it's hard to know if walking away is the right answer. I believe in second chances but also I don't want to be naive. That's why I directly asked him what was up.

    • That's really no excuse though, it's clear you two are in an unspoken relationship. And he's lying to you already- why enter on lies

What Guys Said 3

  • considering you two have only been on "dates" yeah you might be over reacting. I mean like if it's just dating right now and no commitment/relationship has been established then whats the point? you know how dating is, its just trying things out and seeing for yourself. if he was your bf then diff story but that is not your case. you've been dating for 4 months but dating is still dating.

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    • We have said that we are exclusive with one another and that neither of us are talking/seeing anyone else.

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    • Exactly! lol I know for a fact his grandpa did pass away so that part is the truth but i'm unsure about his buddy's parents being around the whole time the other week. I honestly think he is just being a chicken because he knows his buddy did have real feelings for me but I could be wrong. His buddy just kept saying back in January that he didn't want to be just the rebound etc so that is why he ended it. Then his buddy stepped in and approached me in the beginning of March. It's just a mess. Am I being naive about this all?

    • you're only being naïve if you buy into his manipulation and bullshit, which right now is still debatable. so you're not being naïve more so you're just waiting to get a little more information for a clearer picture. Then you can make your own decision.

  • he messed up and lied. but it's understandable (not necessarily excusable). I'd forgive and let him prove that he will be honest in the future.

    I def don't think that this lie of his was a deal breaker at all.

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    • I just don't understand why on earth he would lie about something so silly? I assume he felt guilty that he had been "talking" with another girl via snapchat and thought i'd be pissy knowing this therefore attempted a white lie to cover up? It would have been a lot easier had he just told the truth.

    • for the exact reason he said, he thought you might get upset. he wanted to avoid any confrontation. I don't think it's that he felt guilty but he was worried how you'd react. yes it would have been easier if he told the truth but he messed up

      to err is human, to forgive is divine. it's really not that terrible of a mistake

    • Agreed. I really want to let this slide by and knowing that if something like this happens again that he is history for sure. He kept saying that he thought it would be a waste for him to tell me about her because she is so insignificant to him.

  • he lied, if he can't be straight up with you about this, what else is he going to keep from you.
    You can tell him not to do it again and be straight up with you. However dont let him do it twice. It will only pave the way to him lying about other things later.

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    • My thoughts exactly. How do you think he would be feeling about what he did? Would he feel like a dumbass? It's just frustrating to me that he would lie about something so little that wouldn't have been a big deal had he told the truth.

What Girls Said 6

  • Red flag imo.

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  • When someone lies i just start to feel very comfortable even this is an very innocent one. I don't think lies have sorts , indeed.

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    • Yes it made me feel uncomfortable thinking I wonder what else he could lie about in the future to me.

    • I can't blame you. If you can forgive and believe in yourself that you will trust him again, well go for it. But if you remember this again and again, no need to consume the time since it has been just 4 months.

  • If I were you I'd let this one slide. But if you guys continue dating and something like this happens again down the road, I'd leave

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  • Forgive him and give him another chance... everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we all end up doing things we regret. The important thing is nt doing it again... and hopefully he stays true to his word and won't lie to you again <3

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  • Forgive and forget

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    • And let him go or give him the benefit of the doubt?

    • Just talk about it and get over the problem because if you hold the grudge then THAT will be the problem of the relationship. He said he was sorry over and over again just forgive him. He only lied in the first place because he was caring about you, he didn't want you to stress. But if he does something else with this girl like FaceTime her all the time or something then you should break up

    • True. It's just still fresh in my mind so it's hard to completely forget and not want to be a bit more cautious to protect myself from being hurt. Then again I could be hurt by any guy so it really doesn't matter.

  • Let this one go but proceed with caution! Clearly this girl is more then a friend if he feels the need to be so suspicious about her

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    • I did further research and see that this girl has newly started dating some other guy. Her profile picture is with this new guy and the guy has his picture with her. It appears that they are dating or getting more serious. I just don't want to be played like a fool. He has reassured me over and over again that she isn't even an option and that there are no other options. He says he only wants me... but that could be a line of crap too.

    • That's all find but why lie in the first place if it's no big deal? I would let this situation go for now but be really careful about not trusting him until he's proven he can be trust. Which obviously he can't. Maybe this is a girl from his past that's no longer part if his future. Who knows. Do you have any mutual friends wit this girl?

    • That was exactly my argument. I just told him why bother to lie about it if it's nothing. He said that he did have a history with her 3 years ago, they never had sex but hung out in the past. I have 17 mutual friends with her on facebook. But no one that I would feel comfortable asking about.

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