Guys, would you date a depressive? What about marriage?

I have a diagnosis of severe depression but it's been in remission for a few years now. It could come back but I work hard at keeping it under control and I'm now very healthy. Is this a deal breaker?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, but you can't let your relationship become about that or expect him coming in your life to fix your depression. This is the sad truth but he can't help you. Therapy and support can

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    • I think you misunderstood? I'm currently healthy, not depressed, and have been healthy for years due to medication and therapy. I have had depression in the past but it could come back at some point in the future. I'm looking for a long-term partner and that's why I'm asking.

    • Then go for it. As long as you would be willing to deal with it safely when it comes back. I'd say you shouldn't have any fears if you are dating a nice faring guy.

What Guys Said 9

  • Been there, done that.
    The consequences for the guy range from being left behind to her mild/major addictions to frequent dramas.
    So there has to be plenty of upside to balance that see-saw.
    Many like you can have a happy life but the depression persists; best to focus outside of yourself, serving others and looking at life's happy gifts instead of depression topics, thoughts, et al.

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  • I don't know why but i fall for depressed girls.

    It can literally suck the life out of someone. If you're going to be depressed don't guilt trip people. It's pretty rare to find those types of guys like myself.

    Me personally, i was interested in someone and still am. I found out she has depression, not sure of what but she has it.

    My friend is trying to turn me off from her, but she's amazing. didn't think of her differently because she is depressed. If anything i wanted to help her and still am trying to get her to trust me subtly.

    And yea, my end goal is to get married to her.

    Seriously, there's a difference in depressed people. As long as you don't go in circles, get aggressive, make suicide or cutting statements you'll be fine. I find that that really is a turn off for guys but for me personally that makes me depressed.

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    • Sounds like she is very fortunate to have you in her life.

    • Im working on getting there and :)

      But hey, don't lose faith! :)

  • YES i would! Ur like a fallen bird with a broken wings. I'll take u home and get chu fixed anytime of the day. I'd do anything for u to keep u happy. If ur depressed, ill be there whenever u need meh and listen to u venting out ur frustrations the entire day juz as long as it makes u happy. As long as ur happy, im happy ^

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    • Aww, thanks. Good to know there are men like you out there. :)

    • Dont worry, there's alotta ma kind out there that cares about ppl. They will luv u as who u are and will make it BIG together with u. Juz gotta believe in urself that u can pull through this. The right guy will come along the road someday.

  • Yes i would date a depressive. I'd do what i can to understand her and help her through the tough time she's going through.

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  • I don't think so. I'm kind of depressing myself, even though I've never been diagnosed. I'd actually fancy a woman who was more serious about things.

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  • I couldn't do it. That stuff is contagious for me.

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  • I think I have to control that shit too. I need to have a funny and good mood all time otherwise I will start feeling bad. is that a sign of depression. idk?

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  • Yes because I also struggle w depression and would like someone who understands.

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  • No I wouldn't. I want to be happy.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It will take a kind hearted compassionate soul to accept it.

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  • Anyone can get depression. Not just those that have had it already. This isn't a deal breaker but like anything in life and relationships, you have to be willing to help yourself, nobody else can do it for you.

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    • But so many guys here have flat-out said no, that it's a deal breaker. And I have helped myself.

    • I think if you tell them upfront anyone would naturally be worried whether or not they'd be up to par with dealing with it. But the truth is if someone loves you they'll be there for you through thick and thin.

    • People have recommended that I tell them close to upfront so I don't waste anyone's time, including my own. But I agree that most will get freaked if I do. It doesn't make any sense for the most part because depression is very common, I have it under control, and some of the guys who will reject me will also get it at some point in their lives. But then again I'm not sure what to do? It seems there's no solution.

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