What I am doing is clearly not working, how do I keep things running smoothly in our relationship?

My ex and me have been seeing each other since the beginning of the year. We broke up because we were doing distance for a few months and couldn't handle it.

He says that he doesn't want a relationship right now because he cannot commit 100% of his life to someone before he learns to love himself. I probably shouldn't be either because get quite anxious over situations and end up getting upset and causing arguments.

When we hang out (usually 1-3 times a week) I feel so accepted, cared for, trusted and wanted. He cuddles me and kisses me and basically acts like i'm his girlfriend. It makes me feel special and I honestly love him to bits.

However, sometimes I feel like when we aren't alone he doesn't want me. He isn't a big text messager, but I may not hear from him for days if I don't message. Then everything is fine, or I make a big deal of it and get upset.

I am also constantly worried about other girls. I know that we aren't together and technically he can do what he wants. He's very flirtatious and I know he talks to some other girls (most are friends), he is very honest with me, tells me who they all are and shows me heaps of the messages without me asking because he knows I worry.

I feel very insecure, in life and with us, and so i get easily upset. He's very understanding, but i think it has created a rift and keeps pushing us back a little.

He has gone back to his parents for 6 weeks and although he will be working full time and will be very busy I am so scared he will start liking someone else and can't get it out of my head.

Firstly, how do I get these anxious, insecure thoughts out of my head and become the girl he was once in love with? Secondly, how do I make sure he remembers me and I stay in contact with him throughout the holidays? (how often, what should I say etc.)

NB: People might not agree with our situation but it was it is, don't judge. Don't tell me to get over him, I tried that, not going to happen.


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What Guys Said 1

  • If he is commited towards u...then have faith in him and try to contact him (calling/ texting) only once or twice a day...

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