Waste of Time or Building Toward Something?

I met a guy on line about a month ago. We seem compatable, but live 5 hours apart (each way) He's always saying he wants me to "share more of what I'm thinking and feeling." What I'm thinking and feeling now is frustration about not having plans to meet in person to find out whether we have in person chemistry, because without that it doesn't matter how compatable we are on paper or how attracted we are to each other's pictures. We talk on the phone too, but in person is a must! Is he wasting my time?

  • Yes, he is wasting your time as a permanent pen pal
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  • No, he's just trying to be sure it is worth a long distance relationship
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
He texted "I want to know what it feels like to hold you close, hold you tight and look into your eyes. We'll get this one figured out soon. I just want to know what you are thinking and feeling." CAN I RESPOND, "HOW ABOUT WEEKEND AFTER NEXT?"

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You need to tell him directly that you want to meet up in person. If you've known them for a month and they refuse to consider making plans for that, they are wasting your time.

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    • I have. Last night I texted "I wish we had met so we'd know whether we have chemistry in person. You need to give serious thought to the distance issue and make a decision." He responded "I agree with both points. Our communication has stepped up dramatically just recently and I'm learning much more about you the last couple of days. Maybe we would have made plans for this weekend if we were a little farther developed. I'm sure things will work out if they are supposed to." WTF? Is he playing me along? Thanks!

    • Last night was thursday, so it might be that he was thinking about it but wasn't ready on short notice. He does sound a lot like he's waffling though. The best way to deal with that is directness.

      Tell him "That's fine, and I'm glad we've made that step up. Let's go out next weekend then, or at least set a date. I've known you for a month, but meeting in person is very important to me so that is our next step." If he hems and haws around that, he's totally stringing you along.

What Guys Said 2

  • For a start you need to be chatting on Skype everyday before you meet, that's very close to the feeling of meeting In person so do that for a week or two then it won't be as awkward when you meet:)

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  • You need to meet the guy ASAP to determine if he's a worthy investment.

    Just meet at some halfway point so you each only have to drive 2/3 hours.

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