I hear a lot that women like confidence in men as if it's some sort of golden rule when approaching a woman. I, as a man always thought I was confident, but since my interaction with women currently is limited to approaching them in the online dating scene, I seem to have been behaving toward them much differently when I get to meet them in person.
I've sort of forgotten what confidence has felt like due to the amount of digital rejection I get when I send tons of messages and get nothing back. With the few dates I do go on, I usually think they go pretty well. (-and why wouldn't I? One of these elusive chicks finally met with me after all).
We go on our one date and instantly I can kind of tell that they are not that into me, but hope for the best. I use to have such good social skills. I'm thinking it might be all in the confidence as I lately have felt quite ticked off at women in general because they all behave so differently online; I spend most of my time feeling glad that I'm finally having a bloody conversation in person for once.
My attitude is just so negative now. I'm either inwardly sad or angry and they can tell "something" is wrong and they get unattracted and/or lose contact with me. Surely I'm not doing it on purpose but that's how it goes. What do I do to change that?
And don't forget "why do women like confidence?, what's so attractive about it?"
Most Helpful Girl
Confidence= interesting personality, a sense of liking yourself and having developed ideas and hobbies and interests
Sounds like you need to remember why you are awesome. Make of list of things you are good at (even if its things people tell you that you are good at but don't personally believe it, we are pretty bad at seeing ourselves objectively). Make a list of things you like about yourself or character traits that are positive. Make a list of physical features you like. Write a list of your hobbies and interests.
If you are having problems finding stuff to put on your list, its time for some self-growth! I sound like a stupid self-help book but seriously, make some personal goals and do them. Read some new books, watch a documentary, LEARN. Interesting, confident people are like that because they actually have things to be confident about. Teach yourself to play the guitar, train to run a 10k, find some kind of project to work on. Make new friends, start a new sport, anything. You can't just make your thoughts change in a split second. It takes effort and small changes in your life that accumulate over time.
I don't think its all about confidence. I think your negative experiences are sending off negative vibes (not literally, like body posture and tiny changes to the way you act and speak). Its going to keep getting worse if you keep worrying yourself about it. Try re-thinking about things. Getting nervous on a date? Remind yourself that your nerves are just a thing that is happening in your brain. Your nervousness is not YOU. You are not a weak or insecure person, you are just feeling nervous. Its not wrong or bad. Your feelings are actually really logical. You want to make a good impression but you feel like you aren't, so you get nervous/mad whatever. Being ticked at women because you are having negative online dating experiences is also normal.1