Have a chance to move out of the friend-zone, just not sure exactly how to go about it?

So I have this friend that I've known since senior year of high school (we'll both be seniors in college this year). Since starting college and hanging out with her more, I've developed feelings for her. I wrote them off as a crush for a long time, but this last year figured out they were more than that. Unfortunately, we were living together at the time (along with two other mutual friends), so I didn't do anything about it to avoid risking an awkward roommate situation.

She is a really hard one to read because she isn't really a flirty person and generally avoids hugs and physical contact like the plague. I had gotten a few indicators she may like me, though I could have been reading into things where there is nothing. I also didn't know if she knew I liked her, because I hadn't really flirted with her, again to protect the roommate situation.

I decided I needed to go for it this summer. A week after I moved out, she was home for a long weekend, over which I saw her for various events pretty much every day. I was hoping to talk to her in person, but never really got the chance because there were always other people around.

On the way home from the last time I'd see her before I left for the summer, I called and asked if, when I was back in fall, she'd ever want to go out some time. I think I caught her completely off guard, but she said that she wouldn't say no, but won't say yes because I was going away for the summer. A few days later, she said she wanted to clarify that if I asked her out in fall she'd say yes to a date if nothing changes because we're both having our own summers and asked if I was ok with that. I said yeah and we both agreed we wanted to stay friends no matter what.

So now what? How do I play out the summer with her? And if in fall we do go out, what do I need to do and what kind of date would be best for trying to start to turn our friendship into a relationship?

Thanks in advance for the advice


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you are in the friendzone. because you are avoiding the real friendzone. so now your stuck in this fake friendzone.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • Personally, if I was in your position, and seeing how you genuinely feel about this girl, I would attempt to maintain a minimal level of communication with her over the summer break by perhaps texting her once or twice just to touch base and catch up.

    And if a date ensues in the fall, avoid taking her to the theatre or any place where you cannot converse while you interact. Better yet, find out what she likes to do in leisure time prior to planning the date. Then, be creative and resourceful. Plan a date that you believe will standout to her.

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    • That's kind of the plan I've been going with. I text her occasionally, but not often at all, and challenge her in a quiz game app we both play from time to time. I did see her when i went back to visit some friends like a week ago and things went fine. I was sick so I was keeping my distance from everyone, but while there may have been a little tension, we were fine just acting as friends, which was reassuring if things don't work out.

      And thanks for the date suggestions. I have a pretty good idea of her interests after being friends for as long as we have, so I should be able to come up with something that would be fun for us (she does love movies, but I know better than that for a first date, especially as we try to sort out feelings and whatnot). I think the biggest challenge for me is going to be figuring out when to ask her out when we get back

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