I've been dated my boyfriend for two months and he's a good guy. Yea he has his flaws but they're not even bad. I'm use to being in bad relationships or being with the bad guy type. A lot of my good friends who are guys always tell me that he's a legit good guy. But the problem is that I don't get that feeling with him. He's just my boyfriend, yea I'm attached to him and I like him but its not the same feeling that I get with all of the other guys I've liked. With all of the other guys I was always so happy or excited to talk to them but with him its just whatever, no excitement and I don't smile like I did with the other guys. But the problem is that all of the guys who make me smile are usually bad guys and just end up hurting me. He's a good guy and I don't think he'll hurt me. We decided to take a break til he gets back from his dad's in a month but I want to start dating other guys and talking to them to see if I get a different feeling with them. My boyfriend now tells me that he loves me and I'm going to feel so bad for hurting him if I do end up liking a guy more. But since we're not dating officially right now talking to other guys isn't cheating. Should I do this? Or should I just wait it out with him and see if my feelings get stronger with time?
Most Helpful Guy
First of all, this isn't as bad as you might think it is. I've been on both sides of this situation, and there's really only one thing you can do.
Before you do anything with any other guys, keep in mind that there is no rule governing what "cheating" is. It's a judgement call on both his (your boyfriend) and your own part. If he feels that you're not being fair, or being unloyal, then it might be cheating, if he's not too off base... Then again, if you think that you maybe shouldn't be doing what you are, even if it's just having lunch or seeing a movie with a guy, then you shouldn't.
Also, please keep in mind: none of the following should be done over text message. it's too impersonal. either call him, video chat him, or wait it out until he gets back. nothing less personal than that, it's rude.
as far as the "feeling" with him goes, it's a tough call. In my experience, and I think everyone would agree, if you don't get the "feeling", then it won't work with someone. it's not that you're not compatible, it's not that you're not good for each other. he just isn't the right guy for you; he doesn't have the "x-factor" that you look for in guys.
so, if you really want to know what to do, I would say that you need to break up with him. you don't seem too attached to him as more than good friends with a label. I know he said that he loves you, but that doesn't matter. eventually, this feeling of "no flare" will get to you and you'll really want to end it. by then, he will probably be even more attached to you. don't waste your time, and don't waste his. be straight forward about it, it's the easiest way to do it for both of you.
then give it a little time. be sure that you were right about finding no thrill in him before you move on. going to quickly between him and one other guy would be a real slap in the face, ya know? Anyway, message if I didn't cover anything you want to chat about!
Best of luck :)2