Guys- do "highly intellectual" or "successful" women intimidate you? Would you date one?

Would you ever date one?

I know a couple of my guy friends who said they wouldn't want to be in a relationship with one for a variety of different reasons such as feeling like they have to prove themselves to her, not wanting the girl to be the one "wearing the pants in the relationship", afraid of feeling inferior or not being good enough for her, etc. I was just curious as to how other guys feel about this?

As a pre-law double major and double minor in college, having completed four internships, travelled, co-chaired a conference, and published a novel, etc, I'm curious as to how I may appear to guys. I usually have guys express interest (I'm pretty extroverted and most people don't realize how intellectual I am until they really get to know me), but once we start talking-- it doesn't always-- but usually goes downhill from there, especially once I'm sick of the surface level teasing type of talk and want to discuss other things I'm passionate about...

  • Yes, I'd date one.
    50% (1)55% (11)55% (12)Vote
  • No, they're not my type.
    0% (0)5% (1)5% (1)Vote
  • I might, depending on other factors.
    50% (1)40% (8)40% (9)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've found that highly intellectual women like yourself just aren't interested in me because I don't meet their standard. That's why I marked that you're not my type.

    Every time I've spoken to a semi-intellectual they... I dunno, are just difficult to talk to. I suppose they are always expecting to talk about politics or whatever else their "passion" is. I think normal people are more likely to talk about the mundane things in life because, well, that's what most of life really is. These women also tend to wait for me to begin topics instead of "assisting" the conversation, I'm sure you know what I mean. It's like they expect me to win over their attention and sweep them off their feet intellectually and physically. Honestly, it just comes off as a giant pain in the ass.

    You don't seem that way though, at least not in your description. I also don't know how "intellectual" your conversations become so it wouldn't be fair for me to say that you'd totally blow me out of the water. Regardless, the impression you leave is a negative one and you can thank other intellectual, even non-intellectual, women for being so picky.

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    • Dang, you sound like you met some very "interesting" women, haha! No, I'm definitely not one of those type that always want to talk about highly intellectual things. I like talking about the mundane/general things as well because that's life, you know? ha, yeah, not going to lie-I'd occasionally like to discuss politics, social justice issues, and the like but I would hate to always talk about that.

      I honestly prefer guys with a good sense of humor and certain charm over the very intellectual ones! If the guy was also very intellectual I feel like the conversations would be dry; I want someone who can offer a different perspective, challenge my thoughts, or even change up the conversation if he thinks I'm droning lol For some reason though, I always end up with guys that have the charm and humor but end up being very ignorant.. :(

    • Well you found me at long last, sweetie ;o) lol

    • hehe, too bad it has to be over the web :P

What Guys Said 12

  • Depends. A lot of women consider themselves "successful", which usually just means got a college degree in something. Maybe has a job, too.

    A degree (a worthwhile one, anyway) and a job are both great, so long as it doesn't go to your head. I've seen a lot of girls come out of college with unbelievably high standards in guys- they want the WHOLE package and will take absolutely nothing else. They'll talk about how they're better than all of "those dumb bimbos" and complain when guys don't think they're hot shit. Don't be one of those girls and you'll be set.

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    • I know a few girls like that who are actually doing bad in classes right now but will quickly deem themselves more successful than those individuals not in college. It's kind of sad, to be perfectly honest! :/

  • "Guys- do "highly intellectual" or "successful" women intimidate you? Would you date one?"

    I love 'em and date them regularly.

    "As a pre-law double major and double minor in college, having completed four internships, travelled, co-chaired a conference, and published a novel, etc, I'm curious as to how I may appear to guys."

    Like a breath of fresh air.

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  • Intelligent women are amazing in the bedroom usually and if she is independent you won't have to worry if she has daddy issues. By all means, date her!

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    • Speaking from experience? :P

    • Yes, haha, I have dated some that were not the smartest and could not participate in an intelligent conversation. Shame there are so many guys who feel threatened by you but odds are they are insecure.

      You sound like quite an amazing talent! :)

  • i would feel threatened if she was smarter than me, but i wouldn't have a problem dating one who's as smart as me. i don't want to feel like I'm being talked down to just because she's smarter or went to a better school

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    • I totally understand what you're talking about; thanks for sharing!

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    • i just get the feeling that women feel like they need to be smarter than the man...feminists

    • lol, definitely not true for all women! x) And I actually know a couple of guys that feel like they need to be smarter than the girl. haha, I think it works both ways, just depends on each person :))

  • I admire a successful woman. Good on you! :)

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    • Aw, you're so sweet, thank you! :)) Wish there were more guys like you at my college lol

  • i would love to have a highly intellectual and successful woman plus if she is attractive that would be perfect for me but i know i'm hoping for fantasy..i'm intimidated to her cuz of her status...i feel belittled for not having the level of degree same with her...more would be better. i would date her if she like me if not then i'll find someone to date then

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  • I would date an intellectual woman, but I don't think I've ever met one.

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  • What things do you talk about that makes them check out?

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    • Social justice issues like: the education gap, domestic violence, the refugee dilemma. Sometimes I talk about psychology, so things like left minded people verses right minded people, rejection sensitivity, etc. Most of them just don't look like they're interested or care- and some of them try but respond with ignorant comments that are an immediate turn off for me.

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    • waaah, you think girls like me are boring? :(((( haha, kidding! To each, their own ;)

    • Topics like that are sooooooooooooo boring

  • C, she must be the girly girl type, i hate feminists

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    • lol my friends describe me as slightly girly but I'm also a feminist in the sense I advocate for equal rights for men and women, especially in third world countries where many women are often oppressed due to cultural norms.. what do you have against feminists? :)

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    • ha, you're too funny!! x))

    • "she must be the girly girl type, i hate feminists "

      Give me Gloria Steinem in those yellow shooting glasses.
      Now that's hot!

  • Only if she was the hottest and the coolest to me

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    • Lol, looks fade though! :P Could you really handle her true essence- the thoughts, beliefs, and things that make up her true self once her body lost its luster in your eyes?

    • Well sure those are qualities I find in my self actually

  • I wouldn't date a woman that WASN'T both highly intellectual and successful/high aspirations. Political Science and economics double major with a math minor with my eyes set on a PhD program for either Political Economy or some subset of economics, yeah I feel like I need that kind of person in my life. It's my passion and what I plan to do with my life. I want somebody who can appreciate that, somebody to share that with.

    That being said if she was abrasive and/or arrogant in her attitude it would be an instant turn off. I don't need somebody to fight and argue with in a relationship. Confrontational isn't the type of dynamic I'm looking for in a romantic partner. Straight forward is good, but confrontational isn't.

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    • That's so interesting! I'm a Political Science and Psychology double major and Creative Writing minor. Out of curiosity, which subject do you enjoy more? For me, even though I enjoy both and find quite a few overlaps in the subject matters, I would definitely have to say I prefer Psychology slightly more to Political Science just because I find the former so relatable! Oh and I totally agree about the arrogant attitude part- total turn-off :I

    • Hard to choose because I believe they can be so interwoven that they can be hard to tell apart but if I had to choose I go with political science. I just find that economics will be very useful in the political science arena.

      The last woman I was interested in had a degree with a double major in English and philosophy under the best philosophy department in the country, a second degree in political science, and was off to law school. It is actually a pretty big factor in whether I take a woman seriously or not.

  • Female success isn't a turn-on for men, which leads women to believe mistakenly that it's a turn-off. Actually, it's not a turn-on or a turn-off. The same goes for being funny. It's just neutral.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I've had guys who I dated casually tell me they loved that I was smart, I also dated two guys who said I made them feel stupid. But I can't judge them, because I dumped a guy once who was basically perfect but the more we talked the more I realized he was just...dumb. Kinda made me sad, but I knew it was going to cause problems.

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