How can I make him see me as less of a child and more as a dating possibility?

So here's the deal,
I'm sixteen, few months off seventeen, and this guy at my work is 22. He's absolutely perfect in every possible way and I want to make him mine. I'm not sure as to whether or not he already does, but I want to make certain that he sees me as a dating possibility and not as a child, given my age. How can I show him this?

and do you think that at my age 6 years is too big an age gap? or is it just too big full stop? Thanks anyone you answers, much appreciate xxxx


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Most Helpful Guy

  • well, your definitely the age of consent at making choices
    if that's the age of consent in your state , most age groups
    are age 16 and up. just be yourself, be friends with him
    see how things go don't be pushy, see how he acts
    i know you will get tons of negative opinions but your
    not doing anything sexual with him, be best friends
    see how it goes

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    • thankyou so much xxx

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    • Well yes, but the whole point of it is which answer I think is the best? I think that one was the best, so I chose it. Relax guys.

    • That's fair enough, but seriously, I don't think that unless this guy expresses an interest in you, it's not gonna happen. And even if it does, people are going to think it's odd and express concerns. Seriously. Get someone your age.

What Guys Said 12

  • He is likely a man with morals... You are 16 and he's 22 ...in most states that's against the law in a lot of states and even a little bit of messing around could ruin his life...10 years inprison...a felony on his record for life..oh and he gets to be on the very public Pedophile website and have to tell his neighbors and law enforcement every time he moves...However if the legal age of consent in your state is 16 and he knows it..maybe the whole age thi g freaks him out which is rare...seems lie anymore every older guy wants a teenage girl...just be careful have fun a grow up...go to prom and homecoming... something he surely would not want to attend

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  • i think you shouldn't do anything just for legal purposes. Id say just give it a little time, let him know who you are and what not. If you are still interested in a year or too id ask him out. or now. i never really saw a problem with the age thing, I've dated women eight years younger and eleven years older. believe it or not i haven't seen much maturing or difference in women. we are all just people. i guess the only difference is the younger women had more spirit because they were going through experiences in life for the first time or not have experienced something much where as the older women seem more jaded and just I don't know more jaded.

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  • You're not ready to have the type of relationship a 22 year old would want.

    You say you want to 'make him yours'. You don't even know what that means.

    Enjoy flirting, let it go though.

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    • and what kind of relationship would that be? Because regardless of what you all think, he isn't like that, not even in the slightest. And even if he was, why do you automatically think that I couldn't handle a relationship like that? I'm over the legal age for sex, so if the law thinks I'm old enough why don't you haha.

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    • I'm just being naive I suppose, thank you for your opinion though. Regardless of how I've replied I do appreciate everyone's comments, might help me from making a fool of myself haha.

    • I actually was assuming he's not a creep. I'm also assuming he's not socially stunted. If he was a creep, he'd be pursuing you right now, and we wouldn't be having this discussion.

      Most 22 year olds want the sort of relationship 19-24 year old women are offering. If he's neither a creep nor backwards for his age, that's what you're competing against.

      I suspect that if he's a decent guy, he will NOT want a relationship with you. Not because you're not pretty, or charming, or even sexually desirable, or able to intellectually be compatible. It's that he WOULD respect that you're waiting. And he'd respect it by not dating you right now.

      I don't think there's anything weird with you liking him, and I don't think there's anything weird if he feels something back. But you don't need to rush to having an 'adult' relationship, and he doesn't need to have a teen one. Maybe one day you'll be together.

  • You are WAY too young for a 22 year old. Don't do it. Move on.

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    • Why is 16 too young though?

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    • Good luck with that.

    • Don't need luck, unlike some people I work really fucking hard, and I will continue to do so. So don't patronise me.

  • I don't know where you live but here in the U S thats illegal for a Man or a woman to date miner. There is some give in the law because of High School kids being 18 and dating younger girls but I believe it's only a 3 year gap. So my best advice I could give is just be friends for now and wait a year and when you turn 18 invite to your party that way you can grow from there

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  • If I were 22, I would be flattered, but it sounds like a potentially dangerous situation sexually. That could be a lot of problems... I would say leave this one alone, like the other posters did...

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    • What if it wasn't sexually though? What if it was genuine relationship and what if he respected my wishes to wait, would your thoughts still be the same?

    • We need to be realistic. If you started dating, would you not kiss until you were 18? If you guys did start making out, one thing leads to another. GUYS DO GUY THINGS. If I was 22, and was dating a 16 year old, I don't know. What, am I supposed to wait til you are 18? Holy cow that would be hard. Maybe he is that nice, and could wait. Ultimately, you are gonna be the one to decide, and then see what happens. I know what your mom would say.

    • Not all guys are like that though, and I truly believe he isn't.

  • You're too young.. Note for future -- I'd say 2 years is the max age gap.

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    • Thank you x

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    • Bit off topic here, but what's with all the x's at the end of each reply? I mean this is the anonymous internet, so they don't mean much?

    • You're right, that is off topic. I don't really have an answer though, just a habit I guess aha.

  • For quite a lot of guys, that age gap is just way too big. You're too young to want the same thing in a relationship that he might

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  • not only is that probably illegal (age), but lots of companies frown upon dating, and some dont allow it as well. if he sees you as a child, he'll always see you as a child

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    • It's only illegal if we are sexually involved, which i don't plan to be, not yet at least. I know the company won't care because that's how my sister in law met my brother. Thank you for your opinion though, I appreciate it x

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    • also, im sure the business doesn't allow it

  • Is it even legal for him to date you?

    If the relationship goes bad or your parents intervene, he might end up in prison.

    I wouldn't take that risk, no matter how lovely the girl is.

    Tip: Become 18 or change the laws

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  • I don't think you're old enough. I was going to defend you at first but then I read all of your other replies to people and they're right. You're too na├»ve. Kheserthorpe made a good point on sex, most guys have sex within 2-3 dates of meeting a girl, unless they're socially awkward and have no other options. If the guy is attractive he'll have plenty of other girls who will, and trust me, he isn't going to choose to wait two years for you.

    That you think he "isn't like that" says it all - most adult guys apart from the socially awkward types are "like that".

    That you think he'd be a "creep" to want sex that early also shows your naivety, because for adults that's just normal.

    I have respect. I'd never try to pressure a girl to have sex if she didn't want to. But I also wouldn't wait around until she wanted to, especially not as long as you're talking about. I'd move on. I was 20 when I dated a 16 year old girl for the first and last time, because this was the issue.

    6 years isn't a big age gap between adults. At 21 I had a 27 year old girlfriend for a little while, but that's different because at 21 I was old enough to know the score. At 16 you aren't.

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    • You're probably right, thankyou for your opinion.

  • At your age, he'd be a scumbag to want to date you. You're just too young.

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    • Well I'd have to disagree, to instantly dismiss me based on my age would just be stupid. Yes, I'm young, doesn't mean I can't handle it. Sounds pathetic and not a lot of people believe in 'soul mates' and all that hoo-hah, however I do, and you never know when they're going to turn up, no matter what age.

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    • Just what I'd expect from someone who dropped out of high school...

    • So ignorant. I've heard your opinion, now run along :) xx

What Girls Said 7

  • 6 years isn't a big age gap at all if you are both legal adults.
    But being 16 and then 22 you both are at two different places in your life.

    He can vote, go into bars, buy alcohol, drugs etc.
    You on the other hand can't do any of that.

    He's probably in College with credits, while you haven't even started any of that.

    It would be completely different if you were 21 and he was 27.

    He may consider you, but if he's never dated a younger girl he may be hesitant to do so.

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    • @QA: I'm definitely not against you dating him, having dated older men my entire life (just like giraffe94)/
      But all I am saying is be aware.
      Some age gaps work out.
      Some don't.
      It all depends on the individual.
      They are who makes these things work/ not work.

    • Wrong user name, I meant GemL

  • 6 years isn't that much in theory. But for a 16 year old and a 22 year old, it IS. You're on completely different levels, and he probably does think of you as a kid.

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  • Stop. Didn't have to read anything but the first line. You're too young to date a 22 year old. There is a lot of growing up done between 16 and 22. Not to mention he could get in legal trouble for dating you. If a 22 year old wants to date a 16 year old, trust me, then there's something wrong with him.

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    • But why though? I mean, it's only illegal if we do anything sexual and I'm not like that, I'm waiting. I just don't understand why it should be a problem, yes I am quite young, but idk, it just doesn't make sense to me. Thankyou anyways xx

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    • Dude it's not that I think he's creepy. If he wanted to date you, he would be creepy.

    • Agreed -- I think the so-called MH is extremely off-axis, and it does seem to me to be a creep situation -- Seriously, majority vote says you're going the wrong way - don't listen to the one guy who answered (Who, notably, is over 45 and is single, as his username suggests)... Not helpful info there.

  • I live in Spain and when I was 16 went out with a 22 year old :)
    My best friend is 16 and with a 23 year old so... it's normal in that country not sure about what country you're in. Just act mature, be a bit flirty, mysterious etc..

    Don't come across like a baby, just be fun, get a really good friendship first :)

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    • Thankyou so much! If I hadn't already given best answer this would definitely get it, I appreciate your opinion and I'm glad that at least a couple of people don't think its wrong. Thanks sugar xxx

    • aw well thank you! and no problem!
      it isn't wrong at all, those people just don't understand haha good luck xx

  • look 22 year olds don't go for girls your age unless there is something wrong with them. you can't even go to bars or buy cigarretess

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    • What if i was 18 and he was 24? It's still the same age gap, would there still be something wrong with him if he wanted to date me?

    • no if you were a little older there would be no problem. who gives a shit if you can't go into a bar, nobody worth a shit goes to bars anyways.

    • You would be legal then and it would be a lot less bad. But people in their 20's usually break up with 18 year olds after a little while due to differences in tastes

  • You are too young. He sees you as a teem
    Naged chick, not a woman to date.

    He is an adult man building up his life and you are propably a student, figuring out what you wanna do with your life, possibly living with parents etc. You propably aren't in the same wave lenght

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  • Definitely too young for him. Sorry. My boyfriend is 23 but I am turning 20 in a few months so it makes sense. You are in different stages of your life.

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