I'm confused why so many people think online dating is such a viable option?

To me, everyone I've ever met online was defective in some way: too old, unattractive, overweight, mental instability, physical injuries, emotional trauma, sexual abuse, social anxiety, single parents, workaholics with no time.

The best you can do online is to find someone who is only a little broken. But I don't really understand why you would do that when you can go outside and get someone normal. MOST PEOPLE ARE NORMAL! Why don't they get that...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I completely agree with you...I have to admit that I have browsed when I was single...but didn't see anyone I'd be interested in meeting. Besides, I'd be too scared to meet someone from online. I think it's risky to meet someone that no one I know is familiar with.

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    • Ya same. It was mostly crap. Even the young chicks were subpar on looks. The hot ones had kids...

    • I'm sure there are exceptions, like with anything else...but it just was not even worth my time as there are lots of options cause I'm around many people my age...but I suppose I can see that some people may consider it if they don't have many friends to introduce them to people or don't get out much.

    • lol ya. You're one of the normal ones :)

What Girls Said 18

  • Lmao, most people are not normal. You think they are, because you met them in a "normal" location, but in most cases people you meat outside the internet are just as fucked up.

    Not to mention the fact that all these normal people you speak of usually have access to the internet and can be secretly creepy-ass fuckers and you wouldn't even know it until it's too late.

    I can go outside right now and point out a dozen old, unattractive, overweight singe parents, who may or may not have physical injuries, are mentally unstable and have social anxiety.

    You know why online dating is better?

    FILTERS.

    Saves so much time getting know someone only to find out you have conflicting morals, religions, beliefs, ideologies, etc. with. You don't get that option in real life.

    So yeah, over 2 years with my darling I met on Okcupid. No regrets. Wish I had done it sooner, to be honest.

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  • Everyone has imperfections, everyone is flawed. You'll find that whether you're meeting people in person or online. Sounds like you speak from experience with online dating, which would mean you're just as defective as everyone else who sees online dating as a viable option. The guy I've been dating for almost a year is someone I met online, and he is not too old, unattractive, overweight, mentally unstable, physically injured, emotionally traumatized, sexually abused, socially anxious, with single parents, or is a workaholic. People such as me, see online dating as a viable option because it is. People are people and they meet in all different ways. Joining an online dating site is just placing yourself in the pool of people who are looking for the same thing as you are.

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  • Most people are normal? That’s what you may think… but the truth is that even most people you find in real life are filled with problems, past issues and pain. Yes, most people are normal- pain, loss, suffering, heartbreak, and trauma are all things that happen to NORMAL people. A broken person is not any less normal than one who is not- every single person has flaws. The people you meet online are normal people, just like people you meet in regular life. The only difference is the approach- you’re approaching them through the internet.

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  • I met my dude online but we weren't on a dating site. We were both trolling the same political page on fb and I messaged him not thinking anything of it, I didn't have any romantic motives. He coincidentally lived right where I was about to move for college (2500 miles away) that was over 4 years ago :P

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  • I think people have trouble finding someone in a traditional way because everyone is too busy messing with their phones. No joke, nobody communicates in person like they used to. How can you possibly get to know someone when your priority is checking in on your social networks, or seeing what you friends are doing. People need to get a life. Online dating is an extension of your phone (you're using technology to do everything for you). You will NEVER catch me on an online dating site. I think it's pathetic.

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    • Strong everything. You're hot enough that you could get real life dates anyway.

    • Just looked at the chart reflecting messages received by men based on age and income. Looks like there are a lot of gold diggers online! If I were a guy I would either downplay or leave my income out all together.

    • That's why I only consider girls who like me for my looks :) The rest is a bonus for them.

  • LOL. Isn't EVERYONE flawed though?

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    • Hmmm... if you don't see how the people around you are flawed...then you simply haven't bothered to explore them enough. That's sad, yo!

    • I really don't think hot 20 year olds with average upbringings are flawed in any major way. Except to be too normal and boring.

  • I dislike online dating.. gave it a shot one day for a few hours and it was boring and it sucked. If a guy can't talk to me in real life I'd rather just be single forever.

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  • Most people are normal, sure some are loser but most just use it to have another venue to meet people. And why wouldn't they? As long as you don't rely on it, you can select the ones you're not compatible with more easily and have overall more options

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  • Haha. I've had my fair share of online dating and funny thing is, I never met anyone that I wanted to be with. I probably went out with at least 30 people. Then I met someone in person that I ended up dating exclusively. But yea, there were always some defects! Most of them had commitment issues and a lot of them were depressed with themselves. So online dating for meeting new people (esp when you just moved to a new area)=great. For long term relationships=really rare, but I wouldn't trust it.

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    • Ya online is for fun. It's like a tv show where everyone is so colourful. But for anything real, lol, probably rare.

  • Online dating is kind of like playing the claw machine. It's hard to catch the prize! I met my boyfriend online not knowing we went to the same college! There are a lot of bad ones out there and believe me most people only want sex. But there are normal people on there, you just aren't very lucky. My boyfriend and I met online and had 3 dates and were official ever since. He is the sweetest guy ever. We have been going out for almost 2 years now. Everyone I know has had successful online dating relationships, even my twin sister. You might be surprised that online dating is actually quite normal now. ALWAYS meet the person or it won't work. I don't believe in strictly online relationships (I did that when I was younger because I was stupid). Good luck! You'll find someone. :)

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  • I have to say the men I've met in real life have been less than normal :P

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  • The reason why people think online dating is the way to go is because its easier to chat to somebody from afar than it is to meet in person. Traditional dating has gotten harder for people of this generation I guess.

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  • HA! What's normal!

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  • Your standards are just high. You should marry a royalty instead. You got a really good voice.

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  • Met my current BF on OKCupid, and it started out as a temporary fling (which is exactly what I set out to find), progressed to a no label relationship (his idea), then became a full commitment (mutual).

    So not only did it work out for me, I broke all the rules to finding a healthy stable relationship along the way, in reverse no less. *shrug*

    My ex who still wants me, and my best friend (guy) have both told me this guy is perfect for me, and not to f**k it up. LOL

    And I only posted about 6 ? s here after 2 weeks whining about being worried I was going to scare him off because I was not expecting to fall for him like this. He's got commitment fears from being hurt so much in the past, so I guess we just really understood each other in ways that guaranteed we would not hurt each other.

    Bonus points, he's exactly my perfect type. I had a crush on him in high school, and he didn't remember me at first or the fact that he hated me back then! :P I've completely changed.

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  • I've never understood why people think it's different than meeting someone in a bar, or in a church group... it's simply another way to meet people, no better, no worse.
    In fact, online dating tells you MORE about the person, at first. You know, before ever making the effort, if they're into the same things, if they enjoy the same things, if they want a relationship or just sex, etc.
    Depending on honesty, of course... but there are liars everywhere, so.

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  • Real life dating experience is about the same...

    I've done plenty of both and it's been virtually identical, except it's more convenient to go online to meet the same number of people offline.

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    • lol I could meet 1 girl and she'll be way less fucked up than 1000 girls online.

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    • I'm not just talking about POF. I'm talking about online in general. But ya most people who make these dumb Qs, it's about POF or OKCupid.

    • I did Match. It's tough for really unattractive and dumb people, but everyone else dates about equally to the regular world. Even the guys I met thought so...

  • Sounds to me just like dating in real life. Only about 1 out of 20 guys that would be viable options as a partner (age wise, location, etc.) would interest me. You weed out the ones you like from the ones you don't. Same difference as dating in person and like other female user said, we're all flawed. You aren't going to find the perfect woman, she doesn't exist. You just have to pick one that you love enough, you can deal with her flaws.

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    • Well sure, you fliter in both situations, but are the real life guys as messed up? I would say no.

What Guys Said 8

  • Dating on line is no different than dating in real life. Dating online is a pool of people who are looking to find someone to be with. As time goes on, there are less and less opportunities to meet people. Unless you go to bars, or are part of some kind of book club, or some other social interaction type thing. When we are in college or high school you are surrounded by people, after you get out of school you are surrounded by people, but a lot less.

    I don't think people on line are any more screwed up than in real life. Its the same really. Everyone has some issue somewhere. I don't think I've ever met anyone who doesn't have some kind of damage from something. Its part of being human. We all deal with issues differently, and the way we deal with them is how we come out as a person.

    People don't go online to meet others because they think people online are more normal, its about convenience. Its easier to go online to meet people, than it is to go looking out and about. .

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    • Real life can take longer but the rewards are greater. 6 months to find a normal girl vs 1 week to find a broken one.

    • thats if you settle. I've never just started dating someone I meet on line. I talk to them, get to know them. Even some of the girls I started seeing didn't pan out. But girls I've met in real life have turned out to be just the same. Im not sure what pool you are getting your data from, but I have had mixed results with both.

  • You using free sites or paid sites?

    People I've seen in toronto have had -much- better luck and quality of people on paid sites.

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    • That could be the problem. I still kind of think those people would have some issue that made it difficult for them to just get scooped up on the street. If it can happen to me and you're telling me you're a hot 20 year old...that does not compute.

    • The people I know who've met good people online also have no problem meeting people offline, but used paid dating sites to speed up the process and consider more options, fast.

      I'm guessing that ugly people with no dating skills stick to free sites because they feel paid are a waste of money. People who are actually somewhat in demand find the paid sites act like a multiplier on their dating options.

    • Interesting. Sounds like paid is the filter for the undesirables.

  • I think people are just as messed up offline as they are online. I think the difference is that you find out about it quicker online since people are more likely to open up more online then they are offline.

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  • I found my girlfriend online. Not old, not unattractive, not overweight, no mentally unstable, no social anxiety, emotional trauma, abuse, she doesn't have single parents... And she treats me like a king.

    As for me, she hit the jackpot.

    I did meet plenty of weirdos online, but I could say the same about "real life".

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  • I think they're just more open about it online. You need to be vigilant in real life: people don't openly discuss their errors with you. All those people online are real people too. Most people are broken in some way. It's up to you to evaluate.

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    • More open is a possibility I suppose. I still think the internet draws the broken birds.

    • Well it's true that even the traversal of GAG needs time invested. The less time you have to linger around online, the more likely it is that you have a sufficiently busy life and you're somewhat more balanced and possibly even more social.

      Although, I wouldn't say that sociability necessarily implies someone being "less broken" or even be a morally better person.

  • Lol, your list is long. Hell, most people in the world online dating profile or not probably would fall into that list.

    Anyway, yeah online dating is a sham fest. I've had maybe a handful of dates off OKC and every one was a train wreck. So bad it's no longer bad, it's funny.

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  • In my darkest days I tried online dating once. But I never got any messages back because I was unattractive and overweight. For me, the only reason I did it was to boost my confidence but it backfired because my confidence went down.

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