Why has he suddenly stopped calling me?

I met this really sweet guy at a party and he was very keen on me. He smothered me in attention and we chatted all through the evening. As I was leaving he quickly pecked me on the lips and asked me to call him. I didn't have his number so he cheekily asked me to get it from a mutual friend. I decided not to do this and sure enough our mutual friend contacted me asking me if it would be ok for him to give him my number. I agreed and he called me the next day to meet up but I couldn't that evening.

The next day I went away for a long weekend and he stayed in touch, calling every now and again to see how I was. When I got back home he immediately called to see me again and we met the next day.

Again, he smothered me in attention and did everything he could to impress me and, I must admit, it worked and we ended up kissing more passionately that eveing. We agreed to meet the following day and he called and we met up at another party with our respective friends. He was so excited to see me and introduced to everyone he knew. His friends were interested to get to know me and things seemed like they were going well until he told me he had to leave because he had work the next day but promised he's call me as soon as he's finished to meet me again. He kissed me and left.

The next day I went out with a girlfriend and waited to hear from him but he never got in touch. I sent him a casual text message to say hello and invite him over to where we were. He never replied and never called me back.

It's been 3 days now since I last heard from him. Was it wrong of me to send him a text message? And what can I do now to make him call me back?

I just can't make heads or tails about how someone can be so interested in you one day and not the next.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Helms girl is so right. I can only add that you will probably never know what is going on in his mind. There could be so many reasons why he has cooled off. You can guess all you want but short of being inside his brain you will never know. And you don't need to know. Just judge on the actions and you will be fine. Considering how easy it is to stay in touch these days with texts, something is up but there isn't anything you can do about it. He may be one of those that will contact you out of the blue in a few weeks, he may just not call back at all. Sending him another text won't help and will just make you look like a doormat. He knows how to get a hold of you. Leave the ball in his court to get in touch and don't be so easy to let him back in your life when he does call. Let him know in a subtle way that you are not impressed by his sudden lack of contact otherwise he will continue to treat you like this.


What Guys Said 4

  • Maybe something came up and he hasn't been able to call you yet. Don't worry you didn't do anything wrong just go on with your life and don't sweat it. If nothing happens after wards just forget him.

  • I think he is maybe wanting you to want him more,so on purpose he doesn't call you and then when he does you will be,so happy.If for example you have sex everyday it would end up not feeling right and you would end up in a type of a plateau,but then if you stop for a since amount of time and come back,it's better.

    So in simple terms he wants you to want him more.He gave you a taste of the product and now wants you to want it more.Also he can be doing this to show you he has a exciting life and ,so it makes you wanna make him focus more on him.

    Last thing can be he does not want you anymore.

    Hope this helps.


  • I think he just wants you to call him as he doesn't want to kinda feel like a stalker...from your side of the story, it seems he is always doing the calling ...while sent him a text only once. He, like myself might hate the texting thing ..

    I would call him if you don't wanna lose him...he is basically just needs to be sure its a 2 way thing. Don't text...CALL!

    I have a similar scenario at the moment...in which I am waiting on the gal to call...coz I kinda feel I have done all that I could

    • Hi, I thought about this but I have returned his calls on a number of occasions so it's not like I've been playing too hard to get! Anyway, my mummy always said that it's a boy's job to do the calling and if he wants you bad enough he'll do everything he can to win your affections :)

      Maybe that girl of yours wants you to do the same... It's the gallant thing to do after all!

      Cheers for the write-up none-the-less!

  • I sympathize with you! it might be very touching to be raised high and be dropped quickly as a stone! I will advice you to give him time! as you are preparing for the next concrete move than to rush things! What we call relationship should not be rushed as a swift running water down the valley! but should be consumed gradually with absolute caution and tact! If he is really interested in you he willl definitely make a swift U-turn and come back to continue what he started!


What Girls Said 5

  • Sounds like he's not the type to do too much work. Which is fine in the beginning stages when everything is flirty up-in-the-air fun. But you need to watch out and be careful of this one. You did a lot of things right in this scenario. Namely, when you didn't ask the friend for his number. Good girl! So many girls fall for this. When a guy tells you to call him after meeting for the first time, don't do it! And there is a reason why for this. If a guy wants to connect with you seriously, he usually wants it done right and under his terms. For him to leave it up to you might mean that he wants to see you again, but if you don't contact him, that's okay with him too. It doesn't matter. When a guy truly wants to talk, he makes sure he gets your number to ensure that he himself will call and there will be a connection again. Telling you to get the number from a friend? He's putting you on an egg hunt to get in touch with him! Not cool. Never let anyone make you jump through hoops for them. He obviously likes you though because he made things happen when you didn't. Which is good.

    You did your part in contacting him for the first time after you guys hung out. You weren't too forward or hasty, so I doubt you scared him off or anything. If he doesn't get back to you for three days, it's no biggie. three days is nothing, a number of things can be going on, and it seems like you guys have spent a sufficient amount of time together already anyways. Give it another four days (a week is a decent time to wait for contact again), and don't say anything more until then. I'm sure he'll get back to you. If not, send him a casual message in case he didn't get the last one for whatever reason. If there's no response then, then leave it alone and let him contact you again if he wants to.

    Good luck!

    • So, I've thought about what you said and haven't yet tried to contact him. Strangely, as I was writing this I received a friend request from him on Facebook. Don't quite know what that means but I supose it's positive. What do you think?

    • I think he wants to see you again :)

      Don't overthink things. You're doing great.

      Add him, and see where he takes things.

    • Your mom taught you right. A guy who is sincere and wants to see you will ask you for a date or call to make plans. Accepting his friendship request is harmless enough but it seems like he is trying to play it safe and keep you hanging on without going all the way to really continue heading towards a relationship.

  • Strange. This is an odd one. You did not do ANYTHING wrong by sending him that text! I hope you know that. I think anyone who reads that would say the same thing. He could be having technical issues with his phone. He could be going through some crazy thing right now. In any case, by the 5th day you should give him a call and find out what's going on. Be really casual about it. Unless he's gone completely mad he is still into you... there's probably something that's come up in his personal life.

  • try talking to one of his friends maybe. ya know, the mutual friend who gave him your number. Also, that was a very simple text in which I think was okay as long as you don't send any more for a little bit.

    • Cheers for the tip! I'll think about it :)

  • Hes probably playing hard to get, but then again I was iin this situation less than a month ago and he stopped calling me and I realize now it was simply because he decided he wasn't interested in me anymore and didn't want to see me.