Should you accept a date if your pretty sure you don't want a relationship with that person?

The other day I went on a date with this guy, he was lovely to me and I didn't get any red flags. But our personalities didn't really seem all that compatible. Normally I'm an all or nothing type of dater, if I don't feel a spark the first time I see someone I generally don't go back there again. However generally I only go on dates with people I'm already somewhat acquainted with, this guy came out if nowhere, I know nothing of his past or personality and neither does it seem does anyone else I speak to. At this stage I don't really see much of a future with him but it seems unfair to write him off when I don't really even know him. Should I accept a second date?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is kinda unfair. We humans are pretty complicated and can take a few encounters to realize whether you are into someone or not. There are lots of layers to peel back sometimes. I see where you are coming from. I understand the "spark at first sight" thing. I have come to realize that it isn't always that simple and easy. Not being compatible can be confused with just having differences between each other, or having things not in common. This is where you need to give someone a couple or even a few dates before you decide yes or no. You won't see the full picture in only a couple of dates. There may a lot of sides to him and his personality that you really adore, but it may take longer to find them. Having a lot in common can actually be somewhat boring. I don't I would want to be someone just like me, LOL. When you two have differences between you, that doesn't have to be something negative. With an open mind, it gives a chance to learn and discover new things in life, and a chance to broaden your horizons. Same goes with him. You never know, this guy could end up being your soul mate!

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What Guys Said 3

  • No, that is very cruel to the other person.

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  • Of course you can date without it leading into something serious, just make sure you let the other person know.

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  • "if I don't feel a spark the first time I see someone I generally don't go back there again" I think this is a problem a lot of women have. Generally the only guys that are good looking enough, and have good enough social skills to pull of that kind of attraction are players.

    I have heard that married women generally say they didn't feel the spark right away. For most women it takes time for the man to prove himself.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I wouldn't do that if I were you. A guy had asked me out at one point during school, and I knew nothing of him. Same happened during the date as yours: no red flags, but I didn't see a future with him. However, I knew I wasn't going to know him by much just through one date. I gave him a chance. Now, he's my boyfriend.

    Give the guy a chance to get to know ya while you get to know him. He could just be a good friend. Point is that everyone deserves a chance.

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  • I always follow a one date rule and the date must be at least 2 hours. If you don't think your personalities are compatible after that first date then don't go on another date.

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  • Nope. Best not to lead them on and have to deal with their negative emotions and being labeled a tease/player.

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  • Accept like a hangout date like going to get lunch nothing to fancy like a movie or a nice dinner. You kinda lead him on you don't want to go any further than just friends going out for a snack or hanging out somewhere

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  • If you think he could be a lovely guy, try to get to know him
    But if you do and you still don't feel a spark, then it isn't meant to be

    I hope this helps. :)

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