Why do you girls always want to be friends?

If a guy shows you that he is interested into you, why do you think there can be just friendship between you two.

If you are not interested, that is one thing.

But why would you want to keep him around, knowing his feelings for you?

Are you that dumb, cruel or just plain evil?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Most of the time girls are simply ignorant. They don't know male-female friendships are nonsense and that they can hurt the guy this way, so they keep him around.
    True. Some just don't care about men's feelings, even though they know this friendship would be cruel to him and only benefitting her.
    But you shouldn't demonize women alone for this. Men should also take responsibility for letting themselves be dragged into a torturous friendship. They are the ones who instead of saying: "I'm sorry, but if we can't date, I'm not interested in further communication with you.", say "Ok, yeah. We can be friends."


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What Girls Said 9

  • It depends on how long I've known him. If we've just met, I'm going to assume that it's just an infatuation that will eventually pass once he get's to know me. But if a guy really shows an interest in me, I make it very clear to him what he can expect. If he wants more than I am offering, he needs to go. I don't like it when guys hang around pretending to be my friend when he is really just hoping for a change to date/sleep with me. I also cannot stand women who will use a man who is in this position. The "friendszone", which is reserved for those who are only pretending while they wait. It's damn painful trying to be friends with someone you want to be with, so I don't expect men to do it for me.

  • Oh goody, another angry reject demonizing female companionship.

    Reject a guy completely = stuck up bitch.
    Reject a guy, offer friendship = waaah I was friendzoned, y she no like me?

    "Let's just be friends" is just a polite way of saying "I'm not attracted to you".

    There are thousands of stories of guys turning around and outright verbally attacking the girl, who didn't accept their advances.

    - Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?
    - No thanks, I'm ok.
    - Fuck you, you ugly bitch!!

    Believe it or not, women don't like being abused for not being attracted to someone.

    By offering friendship it softens the blow of rejection.

  • LOL

    That really depends. Sometimes, even if you are not interested in them, they are still fun to be around with and maybe have lots in common with you. What's wrong with being friends? If I can accept the fact that guys would only approach me because they "want something", then why can't guys accept the fact that I would only like to be friends with them without wanting anything more?

    Besides, don't be friends if you don't want to. I don't think I've forced anyone into a friendship with me. :p

  • It first of all depends if you actually said hey I like or love you or something like that. If you haven't laid it all in the line then that's part of the problem. If you have then you need to be honest in whether or not you can settle for friendship. When girls aren't attracted to guys on a relationship level, doing things to make her want you in that way will repel her. If you do decide to be a friend, act like one, not a creepy guy who didn't get the message. You don't have to be her friend if you don't want to, you aren't obligated

  • I'm guessing you've been recently friendzoned? It's true, some girls are idiots and don't give the clear "I'M NOT INTERESTED" sign and instead pity the guy by saying "Let's just keep it as friends". Personally, I think it depends on the guys approach. If it's someone I've known for years and have been friends for a long time, I wouldn't consider dating him, even if he did have a good personality or looks. Why? Because the connection I have with him would just be too awkward. I've seen this guy as someone I could talk about fart jokes and embarrassing childhood memories with, not someone I would have sex with and eventually marry at some point. The transaction is just too overbearing.

  • I think it makes us feel better, we don't want to think we crushed you, it's weird you are right it doesn't work anyway

  • cause we aren't ready for it yet
    but we can stay friends its good to have friend who cares about you isn't it?
    and you never know when feelings change

  • some of us do it which means:"hey wait till i find time for you!"
    some of us do it cos it makes us feel good...its like yeah he is my lover...it gives self confidence
    some of us do it cos we were hurt before...its kind of taking revenge

  • Sometimes you reject a guy because he's an offensive crazy asshole. Other times you simply aren't attracted or think it's a bad match.

    "let's be friends" is just a civility telling the guy that you don't want to be a couple, but don't think he's a jackass, either.


What Guys Said 2

  • If someone is not interested in you as more than just a friend, then they just aren't interested in you, there is nothing more to explain. It might very well be because you lack confidence and and that "spark" just isn't there or maybe you just aren't their type and what they find attractive. There are girls that will "keep you around" as you say maybe because they don't want to hurt your feelings and don't know how to tell you otherwise. I got shot down plenty of times when I was younger, but looking back I resect the girls that were blunt and honest about not being interested a lot more than the ones that just "kept me around" because they didn't want to hurt my feelings. If you keep getting shot down and friend zoned instead of going off and saying that all girls are evil and mean, you need to look at the underlying issues that maybe it isn't all of them, and maybe, just maybe your the one that has issues and your mannerisms and behaviors are what the problem is. My suggestion is to stop looking for a partner. Focus on your goals, your plans and just living your life and being happy. Voulenteer out in town, take a dancing class, look up some old friends, spend sometime with your family, stop moping around whining about how all girls are evil and how no one like you, thats not what is going to be attractive to a potential quality partner. A guy that is confident, interesting and has stability is what a quality partner will find attractive and sexy. So take a step back concentrate on just you. When you are confident and sure of yourself you won't need to look for the ladies, they will come to you.

  • Because they aren't interested in pursuing anything more with you.

    Also you aren't forced to be their friend, that's the decision you make. Usually guys will become their friend in order to try and get with the girl later down the line, so the friendship is an absolute farce.

    If a girl rejects you and offers you friendship and that's not what you want, then don't accept the olive branch.

    It works for me.