Are cheap or "free" dates disrespectful?

Especially the first few dates?

How would you feel if the person who asked you out took you on relatively inexpensive dates? I'm not talking about Burger
king or KFC, but more like Hiking or coffee or free local concert or volunteering etc

  • Yes disrespectful
    12% (25)7% (10)10% (35)Vote
  • No, they are okay
    88% (182)93% (127)90% (309)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Extra: If you voted no, would you prefer a paying date ( movies, dinner etc) to a non paying date

1|0
91|42

Most Helpful Girl

  • Those are the best!!!

    The dates in which you have a lot of interaction and getting to know each other, are the best dates you can have. If you go to the movies and then you have dinner and probably you buy her some flowers may go something like:

    Flowers ($), Gas ($), Movies ($), Parking Lot in some cases ($), Your dinner and her dinner ($$) = $$$$$$

    And you probably just talked about how your week has gone and some movie you watched yesterday and also probably complain about your family, whereas:

    Free local concert ($), Gas, if you have car ($): $$
    Bus ($), Entrance to some park ($), Cheap homemade lunch for both ($): $$$

    And during situations where you most communicate, you get to know someone and their personality and attitude towards deeper situations and will bring each other out of their ordinary life of work, netflix and routines.

    My dream date at the moment is to go to a public library (huge, beautiful one). I don't own a car and I actually prefer public transport in daytime than a car. And I have no problem in paying my share because I'm not the only one trying to make things work. I also want to show him that if we're to spend money, I will court him too.

    And you talked a lot more

    0|2
    0|0

What Girls Said 90

  • I'm 100% ok with the date being "cheap". The purpose of the date is getting to know each other. You can do that without spending a lot of money. You can also have plenty of fun without spending money. So as long as it's not at a fast food restaurant (which you said it isn't), I'm perfectly fine with it :)

    1|4
    0|0
    • Haha! Dis cutie knows it. Da kinda chix i want in ma world very badly :3

  • Those are the BEST dates. Free ones like going to the beach or to a park...plus I feel obligated to pay my half on dates and if it's free...well then that's awesome!

    And nothing wrong with a date to Burger King haha my boyfriend and I have been known to do just that :p

    0|2
    0|0
    • but not a first date, surely?

    • Uh...why not? My first date was to a pizza joint lol. If you think they're good and she doesn't then she's obviously not the girl for you because there are girls out there who would be more than happy, and even prefer, a first date that's free.

  • I actually like it when guys come up with ideas for dates that break from the traditional dinner/drinks/movie format. Putting some thought into it really goes a long way. All of those would be fine for a date, especially a first date where you're still feeling a person out. Getting to know each other is more important than the cost of the date. I always hate it when a guy spends a lot on a night out when it's obvious he doesn't have a lot of money. If a girl has a problem with the things you want to do, then she's not for you. The responses here show many of us would go for your approach.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I would just feel flattered that they would even want to do something resourceful rather than go between the sheets. Nothing wrong with 'cheap,' and it's okay if you go dutch or take turns paying or even if He wants to do all the handling of the 'Bills.' As long as you don't get stuck all the time with the paying of the 'relatively inexpensive dates,' then it sounds like no mixed signals or raised red flags here.
    Good luck, enjoy... xx

    0|1
    0|0
    • Just to add a bit more, I do believe once something More would happen in the future that you both become partners, it's Most certainly Okay Then to suggest going in halvsies together for something a little more 'classy' if you really had wanted this once in awhile. xx

  • Well to me it doesn't matter I see it as the frist few dates doesn't have to be much or a lot of money since I prefer if we can converse and figure out if we even like each other even just going outside to a park if fine be me we can walk around talk lol i won't take it personal. It doesn't bother me.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I, personally, prefer to not have my partner spend money on me. I don't like dates in the first place, but I'd hate for my partner to spend money on me for a night. I like the simple things.
    I read this to my Mom and she has a complete different answer, haha! She likes big, fancy, expensive dates... all because her and my Dad's first date was McDonald's. xD

    0|1
    0|0
    • It cool that you have your mom as a consultant for your answers

  • I'm fine with a cheap or free date, I think it's smart. Why spend money if you don't have to. I love the outdoors, so hiking, cycling, picnics, walks, like sure a nice dress up nice date is nice but not always necessary. Some of the most fun I had on dates were when he didn't spend a ton of money. The things we did were interesting and they lined up with things I enjoyed doing it showed he knowed me and made it a very unique date

    0|1
    0|0
  • free is fun. better to get to know someone by going and having fun, than by sitting in a restaurant trying to guesstimate calories.
    Women who need everything to be expensive just haven't worked out how to be happy and feel satisfied, and you can't find real love if you aren't satisfied with the life you have on your own. so I would prefer cheap and cheerful to expensive and awkward any day!

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm actually uncomfortable when a dude spends a lot of money on me early on, because it makes me feel like I owe him something. It's particularly awkward on the first few dates if I decide I'm not into him. I'll usually offer to pay my way, but I have yet to meet a man who accepted that (at least at the dating stage)

    1|2
    0|0
  • Actually, I would love some of those dates better!! I'd love to take a romantic walk in the park, or go to a (free) museum, or do volunteer work together.

    I'd also prefer to cook him a meal and rent/watch a movie at home rather than go to your typical 'dinner and a movie'. :D

    0|2
    0|0
    • I meant particularly in the early stages. I wouldn't think a home cooked meal would be apprpriate, but definitely later

    • Ah true. xD But yeah, in the earlier stages, I think anything, free, or not free, where you can have a good conversation to get to know each other is good. I hate going on first dates to the movies, because it doesn't feel appropriate to talk there..

  • Those you mentioned are most expensive dates, for me. Not financially but spiritually. I would love volunteering! It seems a dream date for me :)

    And for the update to your question. It is so generalizing. You go dates because you want to be with that person. Non paying or paying.

    0|2
    1|0
    • How am I generalizing? We do go dates to be with someone we like , but by the same breath some people would refuse certain dates e.g. Fast food restaurant. The venue isn't the classiest, but you get to spend time with someone you like yet if I asked the question if it would be a good idea i'd bet my house that most people would call it a terrible idea

    • Show All
    • my bad ("._.). That is a good sentiment. people you care about>environment

    • It is all right :) You are teddy ! There is no possibility to be mad at you :p

  • No those sound like good date ideas to me. It's not like I'm dating someone's wallet I'm dating them.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Not at all. I love dates where we can go for a drive and then watch the stars, or go for a hike, fish, anything like that. Going for dinner is nice too but I prefer simple dates

    1|3
    0|0
  • It all depends on the guy I'm with. Typically if he's a great guy and I love spending time with him it doesn't matter what we do together or how much it costs (to a point).

    0|1
    0|0
    • What does "to a point" mean for you

    • If the date is so expensive that we are using our savings and/or money for bills.

  • its not disrespectful at all! changing up the kind of dates is a good thing. going to the movies or out to dinner every time you do something can get boring. inexpensive dates can often be more fun or exciting and something new

    0|1
    0|0
  • Love shouldn't be based on money and gifts. So I see no reason why a 'cheap' date would be considered disrespectful. I love dates such as a walk in the park or a visit to an interesting museum. I like that sort of thing. When your hiking, you have opportunities to talk about things and get to know each other.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I like those ideas. Maybe we could go grocery shopping and get stuff for a picnic and then make it together. Then find a nice quiet place that we can go and enjoy it. That is something that I would find fun. Or having a private bon fire and make smores. Dates don't need to be expensive it should be time spent getting to know each other.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not in general, but as you said, fast food joints are terrible ideas.

    Hiking, concert and volunteering on the hand are cool Things like picnic or getting a boat somewhere are other cute alternatives . though you should be sure she's dressed for the occasion, if you make it a surprise you're going hiking. She'll probably be overdressed

    0|1
    0|0
  • Those are always the best dates, honestly. Not like McDonald's or something, but simple coffee dates or going to free events around the city. I love doing that stuff and it's a lot less boring than sitting at a restaurant.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Free dates are my favorite. they are the most intimate.

    1|2
    0|0
    • Of course, anyone who complains they are disrespectful, is free to pay;)

    • Show All
    • Exactly. I like your attitude :)

    • Of course ;)

  • I'd love a concert...what's wrong with that? if they're good I would have a great time listening to them, and if they're bad, ad least I'd have fun laughing at their mediocre (or worse) 'skills'... xD

    0|1
    0|0
  • No. If that us all you can afford then it's fine. It would be a turn off if a guy had a high paying job and took a girl he is interested in to KFC Or BK.

    0|1
    0|1
    • Would it still be a turn off if a guy had a high paying job but took a girl out to any of the other cheap or free activities? If so, why?

      I understand that fast food chains a are a no-no

    • Show All
    • As for the early stages inexpensive yet fun stuff are great. As long as they both like them. But fast food, never! Just don't go out to eat.

    • Sorted :)

  • I like it :D Hiking is great. We can climb stuff and then my date can shove me off a cliff :D :D I kid. Sort of. :p anyways, I really like these ideas :)

    0|1
    1|0
  • in my opinion, paying dates can be romantic in ways and it's nice for a girl to know that they would go to such trouble for the perfect date with her. But many prefer free dates like hiking, because the scenery is beautiful, coffee can be fun when you're making her laugh for instance, a local concert is usually also romantic. It depends on the type of man you are. You have to make it fun for her. If she doesn't like the outback and she's more of a city girl, try to stick to things in the city. You can also have dates at your own house. Just make a nice dinner, light some candles... it just depends on what she likes, that will make it the perfect date for her.

    0|2
    0|0
  • The cost isn't what matters, it's the experience.

    2|3
    0|0
  • I actually prefer hiking, going to the park, etc for the 1st few dates than something that you need money for.
    It's disrespectful if you aren't a hobo/dirt poor and you can't at least afford a movie after a few months into dating and you are purposefully being stingy. He'd basically be saying to her she isn't even worth $10. That's horrible.

    0|1
    1|0
    • I agree. I was emphasizing the initial dates

    • Oh ok, yes. I would be weary of him paying for the first dates because it would make me feel like he's expecting something in return.

  • Those ideas sound fun!

    0|1
    0|0
  • Depends. If I know he's in school or doesn't have a lot of money for whatever reason, then they're okay. But if I know he is a trustfund kid then it tells me that he's a cheapskate more than anything. It also can depend on how well we know each other.

    0|1
    0|0
  • As long as you treat you girl to a nice date every once in a while, the dates you listed such as hiking or volunteering sound fun :)

    0|1
    0|0
    • What is a "nice" date? Does treating someone apply that a lot of money should be spent?

    • I'm not talking about like hundreds of dollars, but I would consider a nice date going to dinner at a restaurant, going to a drive-in movie theater, go to a carnival or festival, cute things that cost money but won't break the bank.

  • I think things like hiking or a free local event are more fun, they give you more time to talk and things to talk about. Why spend 20 bucks at a movie where you don't talk and say goodbye at the end?

    0|1
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    60

What Guys Said 42

  • They're preferred because many girls will just disappear if they don't like the guy. Plus, if that's all she's into (high paying dates), dodge her because she's a gold digger.

    A lot of girls claim "it's an interview" getting to know someone because they have such shitty social skills and don't know what a casual conversation is and the only way they know how to socialize is through social media pics where they post cleavage pics trying to see how many "likes" they can get from desperate guys.

    0|2
    1|0
  • Girls generally do not care how you pay for their meal or activity and are just happy that you're paying at all. They certainly don't mind going on free dates. The only girls that will mind you paying in such a way on the first couple of dates are girl that you should avoid.

    0|1
    1|1
    • At least one girl here (referring to my votes) not worth dating. Any more?

  • Dude, you just met her, if she is expecting a 200 dollar dinner and a limo ride through the city, she's a gold digger and ain't worth your time!

    most girls though aren't like that. I would say, wear a nice jacket, take her out to a restaurant (better than burger king but not high class) and see a movie (see the movie first, then you'll have something to talk about at dinner)

    Of course a stroll through a nearby park is always a good thing.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I worry sometimes that a girl would be offended by a cheap or free date. But for me, I wouldn't mind it. Hiking or coffee sounds like a fun time to me, not too noisy or distracting so we could have a conversation and get to know each other.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I prefer a non paying date, that way I can feed her a pack of peanuts and save more money for an awesome gift for my mom.

    1|1
    0|0
  • A lot of times cheap dates are more charming than expensive ones. It takes more creativity and effort finding some cool museum or fair or concert than just taking a girl to an expensive restaurant and buying her steak and lobster. And many women feel wary of guys who throw money at them early on, and think the guy is throwing money at them just to get sex.

    0|3
    0|0
  • I would LOVE to volunteer with rescue animals as a date/activity to share with a partner. My impression of her could probably never be more sky-high after something like that. :-)

    As for the other cheap date ideas, it really, truly doesn't matter to me. Nothing matters as much as being with the right person.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I personally think if you two are thinking about anything other than the insane chemistry between you, something is very very wrong. Everything else should be almost invisible. Food is just sex fuel. Movies are no longer fun. Skydiving seems so dull and dangerous now; you need your legs for sex.

    0|2
    1|0
    • @I personally think if you two are thinking about anything other than the insane chemistry between you

      yup i could spend the day riding a dump truck collecting garbage for hours with the right person;p

  • Cheap 1st date is actually a test (yes, men can shit test too). If she's not happy about it, she's not a keeper.

    Cheap 1st date also removes all awkwardness about who pays and/or the girl feeling indebt.

    1|2
    0|0
  • I dont like greedy gurls :/
    If she truly luvs meh, those stuffs wouldn't be a prob.. luv is greater than anything on earth even money.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Vote C : splitting the expenses

    0|1
    0|0
    • Huh lol? That wasn't the question...

    • But I get where you are coming from. The inspiration for my question is that some guys get upset with being expected to pay all the time and I just wanted to know if a cheaper or free date would still be acceptable. Splitting would be ideal, but the way society is currently set up whoever asks pays. In some cases the asker gets the asked to pay o_O.

    • I consider that a good test.

  • Cheap is ok...its about enjoying each other's company, not impressing by how much u spend. :)

    0|2
    0|0
  • I feel like if you throw money around in front of someone, esp. on a first date, it is almost like an insult. Like you are attempting to bribe the person, or pay for services exchanged.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Cheap ones is better for me as it comes off as WAY more casual, which in my opinion makes for a more easy going fun date

    0|1
    0|0
  • Their not disrespectful, tho some women may view the guy as cheapskate for taking her on a Cheap/free date and the girls that are fine with the guy usually feels she's dating him for him and not his money.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's about getting to know each other now how much you can spend. Besides, who wants to spend $$$ on someone you may not even be compatible with.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I meant to click "Ok" but to settle it, inexpensive dates can be the most romantic. I didn't pay a dime to tell my girlfriend I loved her on a mountain watching the sunset today.

    0|1
    0|0
  • BK would be pathetic. But hiking or coffee kind of thing? Only disrespectful if she expects to be paid by the hour. Or, if you both are wealthy.

    0|1
    0|0
  • if she is in it for $$$ date then that's not the type of girl you want. Take her bowling, its cheap and fun.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I always pay for dates fully but if I can save some money here there that ain't a bad thing either.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I prefer cheap or free dates because it saves money. You don't have to spend a lot of money to have fun all that matters is that you have fun together

    0|1
    0|0
  • Are cheap dates 'direspectful'? No, because my respect is earned and not given. A woman who I start dating will have a modicum of respect given to her by me, but she has to earn my respect throughout the duration of our time together.

    I don't think you have to break the bank to have a great date, a few drinks in a bar full of free-flowing conversation, lots of smiles and laughing is better than going on an expensive date which offers a dull experience.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Hell nah, getting to know each other and shit is what i like.

    1|2
    0|0
  • as long as you're not doing it all the time

    0|2
    0|0
  • No there good

    0|1
    0|0
  • I don't care if the girl has no money...all that matters is that I'm with her...

    0|1
    0|0
  • I am person in the real world with limited financial resources, I do the best I can. If it is not good enough then we should part ways because we have a different order of importance.
    If I am not rich enough, I beg you to find a richer person and leave me alone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It all depends on the girl. if she is laid back and nice lol. if she's stuck up then there's a problem... money money

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would prefer a non paying date because gin out all the time s not fun. A good time does not always have to be about dining out or going to the movies. Their are plenty of things that are worth wild to enjoy. Fun and adventure is always up for grab

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've planned dates that happened to be somewhat inexpensive, but nonetheless, they were very creative and thus successful.

    0|1
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    12
Loading...