Do guys really just want to be friends?

I have a male friend, i use the term friend very loosely when referring to him, as i'm not convinced its always been platonic if im honest. Long story short, but we both get along extremely well as friends, and find each other attractive. Whenever i have confronted him about pursuing more than a friendship he runs into his cave. So, i accepted the friendzone and moved on. We slept together a year ago, which caused some added complications to the friendship which i would like to think we are both over. We speak less and less as time goes by, and he now has a girl friend of little under a year. Occasionally i'll receive a message that he loves/misses me, and a few days ago he messaged asking to meet up. Even when we spoke everyday, he was always rather elusive whenever i tried to arrange a meet up - (purely platonic on my part) So now, all of a sudden im questioning if there's a motive for him being so keen to nail down a date for a catch up. I mean, we could catch up in a phone call right? So my question is, do i have reason to be suspicious towards his motives for wanting to meet up? Or, is it really possible, that after having such an emotionally close relationship with a guy, and having crossed the line of friendship by having sex, that he could just want to meet innocently as friends - knowing that he now has a girlfriend - who, may i add, hates me, and is super paranoid about our friendship... I'm aware this sounds like Major overthink, but i dont want to blindly or naively walk into something...

Updates:
Thanks guys - still a little inconclusive, but i will see soon enough!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's definitely hard for me to keep things strictly platonic. Something about women just makes it so hard to get along with them without wanting more, assuming they are attractive of course. The whole When Harry Met Sally story is true if you ask me. They both always say that women and men can just be friends, but it's such a struggle to keep it that way. Eventually one of you will be emotionally needy, your friend will be there for you, and it'll be hard to control those feelings that exist inside you that you may not have even been aware of.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's not outside the realm of possibility, if that is what you are asking. Men and women can be platonic friends after being intimate, contingent upon a change in their circumstances and views which limits their sexual desire for the other.

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  • Personally, I don't think guys and girls can be friends in the long run. Humans are logic and emotion. We can start off as friends and then out of the blue rationalize the need to date. Once again, it's driven by logic and emotion. It's very rare to see guys and girls be friends successfully. TV shows always poke fun of this, which is why we see friends sleeping with friends constantly. It's natural.

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  • I don't have any issues with female friends.

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  • I believe you can be platonic friends with the opposite sex and I believe that at some point in time you can fall for each other or one person falls for the other, but you cannot be friends with someone if you have had romantic feelings for them from the get go and I don't believe you can be friends if you have slept together or had any form of intimacy.

    People need to stop blurring the lines between friendship and romance for their own peace of mind.

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  • It's possible and it does sound like it in this case. Just friends.

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