Do shy guys realize how much effort a girl who decides to chase them is putting in?

Girls chasing chronically shy guys have to suck up all their pride for weeks/months to chase Bambi-shy type of guys. It's draining and could drive any girl mad. Are shy guys aware of what they are putting us through? Do you guys appreciate it? Do you like it when a girl chases you? If you lost interest after we spent chasing you for weeks would you tell us?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He probably doesn't even realize you do like him.

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    • He knows. We are dating. He asked me out first, but since then I've had to do all the work (asking out, initiating everything. he always happily comes to anything i set up but i have to do 90% of the work).

What Guys Said 4

  • Probably depends on the guy in question. Some people are appreciative of other's efforts but may not say much, others could be oblivious or don't care. Just because someone is shy, doesn't make them good or bad, just means they are socially awkward (which could also include being awkward at showing appreciation).

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  • I've always been shy. No, I have no idea what you're putting yourself through, and if I knew that you were driving yourself crazy thinking that way I'd probably avoid you like the plague. Generally shy guys like me want to hang out with shy girls, so no, we don't like it when girls chase us. We're shy. We don't turn into extroverts because you really want us to.

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    • Obviously my question was not directed at you since all you can do is "hang out" with a girl. I'm taking about guys that will actually go on real dates. You don't need to turn into an extrovert to date people. Who said anyone wanted to turn you into an extrovert? Having to do 90% of all the asking out/initiating with a person is enough to drive anyone mad. It's not easy to put yourself out there. But hey at least I am willing to try.

    • I've been married for 23 years and I know what I'm talking about. I was not being sarcastic in my response, but I think that's the way you interpreted it, so allow me to expand my answer.

      As a shy person, I approach people and activities that interest me very tentatively. There's a lot of observation, thought, and planning before I make a move. So when I say I have no idea what you're going through, I'm not kidding; I never do what you do. I also still don't understand why you do it since it's driving you crazy, and if I knew you were doing something I would never do, I probably wouldn't want to have any part of it. You might be surprised to learn that shy guys would rather choose someone to pursue in our oh-so-cautious way than be pursued. And the exasperated tone of your question made me think you would like shy guys to get over their shyness because you're understandably tired of dealing with it. That simply isn't going to happen.

      I hope this clears up any misunderstandings.

  • I am pretty shy and I just get nervous if you understand, but the truth is I would really like it if a girl showed interest in me, it would mean a ton to be.

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  • I kinda feel I'm the shy guy in this situation lol. I'm married the girl has a boyfriend who's my relative. I always want to message her but how do I know my relative won't be the one to read my message first. It's a long crazy story

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think shy guys realize what we do because they probably think that since they're so shy no girl would think of them like that and yeah I know it's very frustrating cause we try and try but nothing!

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    • I don't think it is that we don't understand it's just that I get nervous around girls I like and if she shows interest it would be a mix of nervousness, excitement, and everything.

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