My boyfriend and I have been together a little over two months now. He can be the sweetest person ever and he's so funny and I just love to be around him.
But the problem is he gets very moody. I guess that's the best way to describe it. One day he will hug me and tell me how much he loves me and then the next day he will tell me he doesn't feel like hanging out, and needs some personal time. That's totally fine with me, just one example of how his feelings and moods just totally swing to totally opposite ends of the spectrum.
Another example: Recently he started a conversation up about what's right/wrong in a relationship. He told me that he thinks it would be okay to flirt with a person of the opposite gender, as long as you didn't take it seriously and it was just for fun. I totally disagreed with that statement (I think that it's a shallow form of cheating to do so) and the whole conversation blew up into an argument. In the end though, we both apologized and things went back to "normal."
That's how it always goes. He makes me feel like crap (by not being considerate of my feelings) for a short period of time, then tries to make things better when he finally cools down, by saying he didn't mean something a certain way or other excuses. Then he's all loving on me for a while, and then it cycles again.
But whenever he makes me feel bad, I tell him. I'm not one to stew over things, and I am not afraid to tell him he's treating me like sh*t. Usually he tries to make excuses for himself in order to hold onto me.
He says that he truly does care about me, he just doesn't always act like it. I think this is a load of crap, because if you care about someone you would definitely make an effort for them, right? But I don't know... I get so confused about how I feel about him.
But from a bystander's perspective, what are your thoughts? Any explanations for the mood swings? And mostly, is this treatment typical of a teenage guy? I should hope not but the question remains...is it worth it? Date him or dump him?
- Date HimVote A
- Dump HimVote B
- Wait For A While Before DecidingVote C
Most Helpful Guy
from what I understand, he seems somewhat bi-polar. as you mentioned, he is still a teenager. I'm almost 21 and I quite vividly remember those years. guys in that age group have no idea what they want. he hasn't lived life so much, yet. I think its more about him than you at this point. no offense. he more than likely has mixed feelings, not so much about you, but in life in general. it seems that he does like you, but he's scared about a committed relationship, which is understandable. I assume you are around the same age, so you can't help but feel "sh*t on", if you will. I've been treated like hell by a couple of girls before, and it never made me feel worse. it just happened recently. and I've seeked out advice the same way you have. I'm still questioning my own self-worth because of a girl that never really mattered, and I'm still in a volnerable state, so I don't know how valuable my advice can be. what I think you should do is look in the mirror and understand that you deserve a guy that will treat you how you should be, unconditionally. people tell me that this girl obviosly isn't worth losing sleep over. as hard as it is to accept, it is the truth. that's something I need to understand myself. its never easy. just tell him flat out that if he wants a relationship with you he needs to prove to you that he is worth it. but what ever you do, don't come off as needing him. he may see that as an advantage and not change his ways. tell him that if he wants a true relationship that you are willing to make it work, but only if he is willing to do the same. but if he isnt, then he needs to dump his cruel mentality on some other girl because you are better than that. I can tell you really care for him, and you want him to feel the same. but in the end, you can't change a person. if you tell him that he needs to get his sh*t in order, and put you before himself, than if he is any kind of man, than he will realize that he has been very selfish and self-centered. above all, let him know that you are far more important than he is , to you. make yourself blunt about it, but don't let him think that he is incharge of your feelings. if he is truly a selfish individual then he will only continue to hurt you. that's the last thing you want, I assume. make him feel that he is a secondary priority in your life, and the tables may turn. he may become concerned soley on how you look at him. it sounds like he treats you right, but only on his terms. and that isn't good enough. personally, if I take interest in a girl, I make her feel that she is truly worth it, but most girls take advantage of that and ultimately push me away. but thatis because they weren't right for me, which I eventually accept. over all just tell him that you aren't going to put up with his sh*t any more, and if he wants to be with you, he owes it to you to prove it. and nothing short of that will suffice. I'm sorry that I dragged this speech out, it kinda helps me feel better about myself to help another.1