Do you think that first dates shouldn't occur until people are officially couples?

I do. What about you? What's wrong with just hanging out getting to know one another? Why blindly go out for dinner drinks and movies when there's no guarantee that the dates will turn into a relationship? I mean what's the rush? My time and money are a gift that's to be shared when the time is right and with the right woman just like a woman knows that her body is a gift that's to be shared when the time is right and with the right guy.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree 100% with you in that. Now that I think about it, I've just always hung out with guys and never been on a "date" or in the dating scene except for one. The last date I went on was with my bf 3.5 years ago and now we have a child and we're getting married. It took about 3 to 4 months of hanging out for me to decide that I wanted to "date" him.

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    • You understand unlike most people on here who think they have to spend money to get to know someone.

    • I see what you mean. Many people think that hanging out is dating... that's how people rush into things accidentally. I used to stay at my bf house and we would watch movies while eating dinner but everything was already in his home. Now we have date nights that include spending real money (more than the average "date"), which is necessary because we're planning on marriage.

    • Thank you for most helpful

What Girls Said 6

  • "What's wrong with just hanging out getting to know one another?"

    You realize that's what dating is, right?

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    • No its not. On a date money has to be spent. When you're just hanging out it doesn't.

  • No, that sounds backwards to me.

    Dates are there in order for people to see if they are compatible enough to be
    a couple.

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    • And you can do that just hanging out

  • I'm sure you could find a woman with a similar viewpoint or have a relationship of that nature fall into your lap and develop organically. But most people who date don't dwell on the time and money spent, it would be pretty easy to interpret that as a little arrogant to see that as a "gift" and your time and money is not in exchange for her body, since she probably also has her own time and money that she would also be spending on you. But, if that's what you're looking for, there are probably women looking for the same thing.

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  • No i think dating is part of the get to know each other, and that should happen before you commit. What if you commit and then dont like her, because you didn't go out beforehand

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    • You don't have spend money to get to know someone. You're not understanding the question

    • Your perception is yours, doesn't make it valid. What's your definition of hanging out?

  • I kinda agree. I like to get to know the person before, without dating, then there is less pressure and I feel I can be more myself.
    What I would like to add is that, even if it's just hanging out, it should take place at least once a week (preferably 2-3 times a week), otherwise I just lose the interest and think the guy is not into me.

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  • The whole point of dating is to get to know each other and find out if you two "click".

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    • You can do that just hanging out.

    • Of course you can. You can hang out, or go on dates. Whatever you two prefer to do. :)

What Guys Said 3

  • No. I think that it's rushing to be in a relationship within a week.

    I know a lot of girls who jump into relationships like this; they're in their thirties, and yet have had more "boyfriends" than they can remember. I know a girl who changes boyfriends probably twice a month; it's drama and romantic names and promises of undying and never ending love, then death threats and stalking and abuse (and hatred) a few weeks later. If a woman is abusive, she's not being my friend. And she's not someone I want to keep dating.

    If I say "I love you," I had better feel it. I'd better be sure of it. And with saying it, I want something like that to MEAN something to her.

    I had a guy friend who was "SO broken up about a girl." I happened to see him at a party two days later, and he's "SO INTO" this other girl. Oh, "he wants her... needs her." He's pining for this completely different girl within 2 days of a breakup. That Monday, I find out he eloped with this third (completely different) girl that he met AFTER this party with "girl number 2" that he was pining for (but didn't get past a first date with). It was all drama with him. I doubt very much that they're still married (at least to each other).

    I want to get to know the woman and find out at least how she acts in public and a little about how she thinks - and what her morals are before "committing" to spending time and money on someone who I'll despise in a week. I want to trust we won't be broken up "on a whim" - that if we DO breakup, it better be over something that matters, too. It's one way to learn how to be a better person, if they make you think instead of parroting romantic comments that mean nothing.

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  • 1. "dates" are kinda lame
    2. "time is right". I prefer instant mutual lust.
    3. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Only betas follow rules.

    Play on playa ;)

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  • Money does not need to be spent on any date. I totally disagree with you and think some people think too much.

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