What scares you the most about dating?

Really deep down what is terrifying you the most about dating or relationships in general


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Intimacy, the closeness. Having to trust someone physically and emotionally. *shudders*

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    • Is it really scary enough to warrant shudders?

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    • I suppose if you contemplated trusting someone with your heart, body, mind and soul, perhaps you too would shiver. Or shudder. Or just throw up. :p

    • I totally understand I use to shudder too. Still do a little but I've learned not to take cliches so seriously. They're meant to sound pretty not realistic. For me it wasn't the trust that scared me but being let down.

What Girls Said 21

  • 1) Rejection. I don't expect everyone to like me, I know they don't. But maybe from those who are my friends.
    2) Heartbreak. I know I won't deal well with it. I can be angered quickly, I've a short temper. So no idea how I'll take it.
    3) As vain as this sounds, how I look. It shouldn't be an issue, but today's world makes it so women - and men, but it isn't as problematic - have to look a certain way. Dolled up, dress provocatively. I don't do that, it's not my style. I am average, I'm not that pretty. I have moments where I look decent enough.
    4) Not enough say. I'm not that interesting.
    5) The fact I won't be single. I like it too much.
    6) Weirdly, being in a relationship somehow means finality to me. Like I'll never be with another so I have to settle with what I've got. Can't really explain this one.

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    • Also, opening up. Actually 'loving' someone is something I don't see myself doing beyond my family and close friends who you love to be with. I couldn't express my emotions, depending on if I even had them.

  • I wouldn't necessarily say I'm scared... But commitment just isn't my style.

    I'm an Aquarius I blame Astrology =/

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    • You wouldn't be the first to blame astrology lol. My ex was an Aquarius and definitely couldn't commit to anyone she blamed astrology too. She used to point to her tattoo and say what did you expect. My best friend who was born two days before her and is also an Aquarius is married now and her shortest relationship lasted 4 years. So I could never truthfully answer my exes question. But I completely understand the commitment thing it's not my style either. My longest relationship lasted a little over a month. In my book commitment is something you do because you want to. Any other reason just seems contradictory.

  • Being cheated on scares me the most.
    Also, opening up to someone, I usually keep everything to myself.

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    • I can only speak for myself but as someone who has been cheated on it sucks. It hurts it's confusing it makes you feel like total crap but after awhile you realize it's not that bad. Cheaters cheat because they want to and it rarely has anything to do with who they cheated on even when they say it does. You just learn to accept people for who they are and you learn not to trust that person as much. And I'm also afraid of opening up but to me that fear is a good thing. It's those moments when I talk to someone and I can tell that fears not as strong as usual that makes me happy.

    • I'm sorry you got cheated on! That's terrible.
      And yeah, I get what you mean with opening up to people. But it always makes me nervous if I'm opening up to someone who isn't trustworthy.

    • Eh I barely ever think about it anymore. We all take gambles and sometimes we loose but overall as long as I'm still living I'm winning. But trusting makes us all nervous so I completely understand your fear. Good luck.

  • People who want to get too serious too fast

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  • Not knowing the outcome. I'm scared of dying alone.
    Ideally you'd just skip the first few dates and go straight to relationships. I don't like dating at all, I'm terrible at it, I'm good at relationships

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  • unfaithful partner

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  • Losing the trust in him. Since it really takes me time to gain it, once i lose it i don't think i will regain again.

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  • Worrying that I'll bore him because I am shy and not a party girl or that he doesn't like my appearance.

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  • I feel like I am always too young and afriad of what my family may think to be honest.

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    • Well everyone who is older was once young and although they lived a different life than yours they never forget what it was like. I remember my parents telling me things about dating when I was young and I never wanted to listen but as I got older I realized they were making more sense to me. If you feel like your too young than don't. I say don't waste your childhood and adolescence worrying about adult things because one day you'll miss it and that day comes much faster than you'd expect.

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    • Oh your more like me than I thought. My family encouraged dating too. Yeah I say stick to being you and let things happen when your ready to take that risk.

    • Thank you so much for your advice, it really helped clear my mind :)

  • Being deceived and my time being wasted. That's time you cannot get back.

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  • Not being able to tell if person is crazy/evil/sadistic or not.

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    • In my experience almost no one is. Depressed/scared/hurt/confused maybe but rarely crazy/evil/sadistic those guys stick out because they're out of the norm and there's nowhere near as many as you'd think

    • Yeah, I know, but being depressed/scared/hurt/confused can drive you to act crazy/evil/sadistic. So then, the guys perpetuate this cycle on themselves.

  • Being cheated or feeling like I'm not good enough or feeling I love him more than he loves me.

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    • I've been cheated on and I can truthfully say when a cheater cheats it rarely has anything to do with you. You can be a total ahole and a normal person would just leave. Cheaters like the thrill of cheating. But I completely understand the whole feeling like you love someone more I fear that too sometimes. But how do you even figure out how much someone loves another person since everyone loves differently.

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    • Okay help me understand you better. Is it the ambiguity that scares you or more like the rejection?

    • I can take rejection. It's ambiguity.

  • My fear is being stuck with that person forever. It's irrational. But it's real.

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    • I wouldn't say it's irrational it makes total sense. But to me it's not that real. A lot of people just want it to be. In reality you (or your partner) could leave when ever you want. Hearts will be broken and you may have to go through a bad break up or divorce but you can always leave. Maybe I'm weird but in my head all relationships end eventually the only difference is some of them end before we die, which leaves us to fight through the aftermath, while others end with our death. Well at least in this life if there's a life after this life I'd like to keep that a mystery and deal with it when it comes cause chances are it'll probably be completely different.

  • I'm scared of getting hurt and get cheated on since it happens many times in the past!

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  • Being hurt in the end

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    • Oh aren't we all. I don't think anyone on this planet hasn't experienced this fear. But like I told a guy earlier whenever I'm hurt by a relationship ending I remember a page from a Winnie the Pooh book where piglet was leaving and pooh said something along the lines of "I'm just happy I met someone who could make me feel this sad about them leaving". I know it's cliche and cheesy but it helped me.

    • Wow that's awesome

  • Break ups :/

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  • When he thinks I am too weird and boring
    Rejection

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    • I understand rejection is always a scary thing. But you can't really expect everyone to like you. You're eventually going to meet someone who dislikes you you'll probably meet a lot but that's what makes those that do so special. I'd rather someone reject me for who I am then spend my life trying convince others to love someone I'm not. I'm sure your not boring and in my book weirds normally a good thing

    • You are very right :)

  • Feeling as if I probably bore him or annoy him.

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  • My guy friend is kind of a player and gets me worried about STDs. It's weird and funny.

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    • Lol I've actually had an STD it's funny how some people react to them. Usually the loosest people have the most fear it's so backwards. The girl who gave it to me was in this huge panic when I told her and I'm sitting at the clinic like I'm the one who can't pee without nearly crying you didn't even know you had anything. It's an infection it happens you just gotta protect yourself as much as possible

  • getting hurt, getting cheated on, or the guy is a psycho and a murderer

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  • Letting someone know just how much they matter to me, how much I care about them.

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What Guys Said 12

  • That if she said "Yes I'll go out with you", then I wouldn't know what to do. I need a challenge or an adventure to get me up and going. And I also like my downtime where I chill for a week or so without social contact.

    But dating sounds like I'll have the responsibility to keep asking her out on a very frequent basis. I feel like I have to dedicate even more of my time towards her. I'm afraid of losing my personal free time, and being too stressed out with finding ways to engage with her, and looking for things to do when we go out.

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  • Hmm investing myself physically, mentally, and financially then having my investment not payoff.

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    • This right here. Yeah. Right here.

      This.

      Yeah.

      Right here.

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    • I understand that I wanted to know specifically what results he was looking for

    • Without it going anywhere. With it ending in huge disappointment.

  • That I will invest a lot of time and effort into a relationship only for it to go down in flames and all that time be wasted.

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  • Commitment in terms of money, emotional, sometimes we getting tired facing the same person all day long

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    • You're not alone I completely understand. I guess that's why it takes so long before people actually decide on who to commit to and why divorce exists in the first place. My granddad always told me the hardest part about marriage isn't finding someone to love but learning how to love the one you've found. Then he says but sometimes that's the best part. His wife died over a decade ago after fighting Alzheimer's for years and somehow the guy could smile when he told me this. I'm still pretty reluctant to commit to anyone but at least I know it's not always a nightmare. So good luck out there man.

  • That I will never find someone who would accept me. That ultimately I'm just not what girls want. Those kinds of thoughts scare me a lot.

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  • Unrequited love.

    It's not scary enough to keep me from trying, though.

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    • It is scary man. I remember reading a Winnie the Pooh book where pooh was sad about watching piglet leave and he says something like "I'm just happy that I found someone who could make me feel this sad" I know it's kiddy but I kinda took that too heart. It's held me through a lot of let downs and heartaches but it's like my little silver lining in a dark cloud. Not sure if it'll help you but either way good luck out there man

  • Nothing really scares me about dating or relationships.

    I really, really don't want children though, which is why I abstain from sex, which results in abstaining from dating and relationships by proxy.

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    • You can always date someone who can't have kids or get a vasectomy. They're reversible.

  • Trust - intimacy, that closeness that brings people together. Its scary.

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  • "I'm pregnant."

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    • Ah man I'm with you on that one. My cousin (who's currently fighting for full custody) once held up his son to my face and said "look at it! burn this image into your mind! it'll be the best birth control ever"

  • Probably getting rejected at any time during the relationship

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    • I've had that fear. It'll eventually go away. Once it clicks that rejection is rarely as personal as it feels and when it is personal it's only one person and it's not the end of the world. Trust me you can take it.

  • The prospect of getting my heartbroken because that means spending a fortune on Ben and Jerry ice cream.

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  • Paying for dates that don't lead to anything.

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