What's wrong with me? Relationship advice! Am I undateable?

To start out- I have never once been in a relationship before. I've had multiple one night hookups but all of the guys I would never really bring home to meet my family. I'm not really a picky girl - all I ask is that you treat me with respect and you make me feel comfortable. I'm a little shy but definitely not boring - I like to hangout with my friends and go out. I work hard, I do well in school, I'm not messy, and I have goals. People say I'm a really polite person and I'm pretty chill to be around. I don't complain a lot and i try to be as nice and as genuine as Ican be to people (as long as they are to me and they don't disrespect me)

I don't know what's wrong with me though... all throughout my life I feel like guys have shown some interest in dating me and some would even flirt with me but that's all it was... And I've never been asked out on a date before. I've been hit on before but never really courted. I'm not sure what's wrong with me.

I can be friends with aguy but that's all it ever seems to be- friends that's it. It'd be nice to have a boyfriend though - not a friend though...

Updates:
Update: I'm not overweight or anything and people tell me I'm a beautiful girl with some nice features. Im 5'8" 130 pounds mostly muscle if that helps you get a better picture (this is directed at the person who told me I look nerdy)
Lost interest in this question but thanks for all of the answers except for a few disrespectful ones you know who you are. You can still answer though

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Most Helpful Guy

  • From what you said you have a lot going for you, iI wouldn't stress a relationship. I agree you need to find a old fashioned guy though, unfortunately there's only a few of us and we get walked on for it. If I were single your the kind of girl I'd be looking for

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    • How do you get walked on? I think old fashioned guys are really polite in my opinion! Thank you for the feedback and that's nice of you to say and yeah I'm not stressing it too much I'm sure the right guy will Come along... Patience XD

    • It's my pleasure, I think you've got it right though. I'd live life and see what comes along. It couldn't hurt to get some guy friends though

      Basically taken for granted, or treated like there has to be something wrong if we are this good to a woman. The dating world is kind of a mine field in that way but it will pay off in the end I'm sure

What Guys Said 11

  • Sadly not many men today court women your personality sounds like and correct me if I'm wrong is that of a average hardworking girl. Which there is nothing wrong with that you just hsve to find the right guy someone you can click with it sounds like to me you need a mature adult relationship with a man not a boy. And what I mean by that is someone you can relate with and have a connection with both friendly, romantic and emotional he needs to have a stable job not a burger joint job and he needs to be able to take you out on proper dates and treat you like the women you are court you. There is someone out there for everyone it's just a matter of finding them.

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    • I definitely fit that stereotype personality wise and everything you're describing sounds like what I'm looking for but tbh the guy can work at a burger joint or whatever as long as he's not lazy and he works hard that's fine. It's more of a personality thing and if I'm attracted to you thing. I've never been out on a proper date before but I'd even be fine with just chilling and watching movies... Just want someone to vibe with yknow

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    • Old fashioned guys seem more mature and nicer in my opinion.. A lot less judgmental and more understanding. Thanks for the feedback!

    • My pleasure.

  • Well you said yourself that "I feel like guys have shown some interest in dating me and some would even flirt with me". So what are you doing? Do you push guys away? Do you offer beck the same interest to go on a date with them? Cause if they show interest in dating you... then that means they would like to go out on a date. But no matter what, if you don't return the interest, they'll lose interest. You seem like an amazing girl who dosent ask for much. I understand you had your past but are you still living in that mindset? I'm 99% sure you're not. But like I said, you seem amazing and beautiful. Any guy would be lucky to have you.

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  • On a scale from 1to 10 how aggressive and prolific are you in initiating connections with potential dates?
    Getting dates is like getting sales... you have to come up with some creative ways to obtain a date... and dont worry its ok for females to take control these days... one trick for meeting people in a social gathering is to stand out from the rest of the crowd and being a bikini model is not the only way... also there are lots of very respectable shy guys out there that will gravitate toward you if you take control of the situation.

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    • I'd say 1 I'm pretty submissive with dating but I definitely would like to learn how to be more comfortable talking to strangers on the spot.

  • What you just said don't sound right ,
    your little shy but you had multiple hook ups
    no decent guy wants that in girl at least for me
    i think you like tease guys that's one thing
    you do have a very pretty face but kind makes
    guys minds wonder but i know the name of
    game on the Internet

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    • Naturally I am very shy and honestly I don't tease guys I don't see where you're coming from but alright... I understand that the title is asking for criticism though so thank you I guess

    • Your welcome :) xD

    • I have bipolar 2 by the way but really... I don't think you understand where I'm coming from so sorry I think I'm alright though

  • You're pretty cute so I'm sure you'll find a guy.

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  • First off your so young to worry about being in a relationship. you are very attractive and any guy would be lucky to date you

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    • Thank you that's nice of you and I definitely think I'm too young to worry about this stuff too but I'm not going to lie I'd
      Love to have a bf though :o (if only just for the emotional connection and someone being there for me feeling yknow). But I think were all searching for that person so yeah.

    • You're welcome. . You'll get a bf.. I miss the connection you're speaking of

  • You said it yourself,"multiple hook ups"you dont respect yourself and shouldn't expect others too.

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    • They were in high school I haven't had sex in over two years thank you very much jeeezzzzz actually all of my guys friends have said it themselves they've never seen me dress like a slut but ok

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    • It's the internet so I understand that you don't really have the complete picture but yeah I have the agree with danger you're being a bit disrespectful. We all have our pasta and we all can learn from them. I'm sure you aren't perfect

    • Past not pasta*

  • multiple one night hookups? really? seriously? and then you whine you don't have a boyfriend? Change some stuff. some right some left and zing bing! the problem is, you don't consider yourself. ( in simple words, respect what you are) Don't fly things. Slo mo is the key. ESCHEW these fast and loose hookups. respect yourself and make yourself a priority not a relationship or a guy. Life is beyond this. so eat and chill! don't forget to eat. eating is a bliss.

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    • Last hook up was 2 years ago I don't know if you read the comments below Haha but thank you I'll try and eat and chill more :p I really am a slow mo girl nowadays like rlly slow mo but I think it more or less because naturally I am shy. Haven't had sex or kissed a guy in over two years so yeah and I respect myself thanks bro

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    • How do you go about doing that I need to learn that superpower hahaha

    • I was kidding. Never try that. Lol , no , seriously

  • There is probably plenty of guys that would like someone like you, all guys really want is someone they can relate too, and a very feminine women is preferable, as long as you are overly controlling and needy you aren't going to have to much of a problem finding guys. Have more confidence in yourself and also if you really are looking online for help watch videos on how to be feminine, it will give you powers beyond your wildest dreams...

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    • I will look into that haha I don't know but changing myself for someone else just doesn't sound like me. Ido wear dresses and skirts sometimes but If I'm trying to get to know someone I don't like to judge a book by it's cover.. I'll look at what they show me. I know guys may be pressured to be macho and stuff but I don't know I'm more or less attracted to the guy who is just nice and will talk to me. Not really complicated I wish dating was like that though oh well I'm young it's cool thanks for the feedback

  • "Respect" and "comfortable" are in the eye of the beholder. My definition is probably different than yours as is everybody's on the planet. If your version of respect and comfortable means that the dudes are always walking on their tip toes around you, it might take awhile to find someone who is willing to put up with that.

    On top of that, most younger guys (you look fairly young) might not be able to financially or mentally meet your definition of respect and comfort. If respecting you involves fulfilling every one of your wishes, obviously someone working at burger king can't do it.

    Don't worry though, your not ugly and if you do have the body that you describe, there will be a male out there that will mold himself to fit within your parameters and have enough balls to ask you out. Just know that there are more women than men in this world and if you are too demanding, it might take awhile.

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    • Thanks for the advice ahh

    • Ps that's not my idea of respect at all... What I meant was more or less just being a reliable good friend and being genuine with me. I'm not a demanding person although my family has called me that before

  • You look too much like a nerd. If you improve that there will probably be more options.

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    • Nahhh I've been told by a lot of guys that I'm actually pretty attractive- that's not it. My glasses are large though.

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    • No sarcasm there. At least you recognize that it's a pretty big diagnosis for interpersonal relationships. It can come with age, but don't let that convince you that you can relax and never try to improve.

    • True :p haha

What Girls Said 2

  • You are beautiful dearie. I saw your picture. Don't rush things out. Maybe you are just the girl who can't play with. You are exquisite, a precious jewelry to be describe. so don't worry if you are not in a relationship yet. You are not alone. A man will find you soon, not some total jerk who'll just playing around with you not serious to anything or relationship thingy.

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    • Hahah aww thank you you seem really nice XD I think I need to work on my confidence because I don't view myself that way. But definitely I'm sure I'll meet a genuine guy looking for a real connection I'm still pretty young though so plenty yyyy of time!

  • You seem too needy and eager. Work on yer confidence.

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    • Everyone is a little needy I'm not going to lie I am. I want an emotional connection and I should honestly but I'm young so it will come with age I guess (confidence) thanks for being honest with me

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