Should I continue dating a guy who is hypercritical of me but otherwise nice?

He is a doctor and is older and in general is nice- he pays for everything, opens doors, does the gentleman thing. But he is critical of really weird stuff. Like he said that I looked better thinner after I went to a dinner party with his friends. Weird thing is he said his best friend agreed. He also said that I was socially awkward, and when I disagreed, he brought up 3 of his friends that agreed. He also said that his friends worried I would "slow him down" because I'm an introvert and he's an extrovert. (I thought opposites attract? And besides I do like going out, and I have more friends than he does) He does weird stuff like make comments about the fat on my thights after I lost 25 lbs (partly b/c of what he had said before ) and when we were on a trip in Italy he said my fingernails looked stupid because the polish was flaking off and "he couldn't see what put together woman would go out like that". I ended up filing my nails inside my purse while he was in the bathroom so there was nothing on them. I mean is this crazy or these just quirks?

  • Normal Behavior- Worth putting up with
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  • Not Normal- This guy sounds psycho
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like it would be in your best interest to move past him and not give him one more second of your journey. Him criticizing your body when he is not even your boyfriend and you two have barely solidified a bond is a red flag. That is tacky, rude, and careless on his part. I can only imagine what other tactless things he will do later on if he would be so shamelessly bold as to say something like that to you. Even if you are socially awkward, that's not something to be put on display in front of his friends. That was extremely rude and insensitive of him to jeopardize embarrassing you in front of his friends just to arrogantly prove himself right.

    These are NOT QUIRKS: these look like the beginning stages of a guy who is controlling, belittling, and possibly even abusive. He has no place or right to be criticizing you as a woman. Sooner or later, his rude comments are going to shrink your self-esteem. Stay away from him. Do not settle for such a jerk because he's occasionally nice.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Perhaps his analytical, opinionated, and, as you said, highly critical behavior of you is a consequence of his career accomplishments and the notable age difference between he and you. Therefor, instead of viewing you as a equal partner, he feels the need to parent you, police you, and guide you at times, in my opinion. And it may be why he is unfiltered in his opinions of you.

    It's classic case of control issues. It's not normal. It's objectionable. Don't put up with it. Not now, not ever. For if you do, as I'm sure others in his past have, you will continue to teach him that his critical remarks are acceptable.

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  • I wouldn't go as far as to say he's a psycho. But it's not good at all. Break it off with him.

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What Girls Said 4

  • He's an asshole, and assholes like to be the "boss" of a controlling relationship. He's trying to control you into what he wants you to be/look/act and if you let it continue and don't stand up for yourself he'll eventually walk all over you until you feel like nothing. This is a bad relationship that you should not let prosper nor progress any longer because it will eventually turn into an overall negative outcome. I hope you don't think that his behavior is normal, it's not. If little things about you bother him then there will be many more bigger problems that he'll tell you. These comments towards you are putdowns not advice and the information that his "friends" agree or comment on sound as if he's telling you that others think the same way to pressure you into doing what he wants. Don't let this guy be what us girls consider a nightmare. Move on and dump his ass. Doctor or not, the happiness you want and deserve is much more meaningful than a dick head with money.

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  • For me he sounds like too professional in everything (except if he said all those comments to you in rude or unpleasant way that made you feel hurt or embarassed in public)..
    Maybe he likes you to change your lifestyle a little bit to look and be more sociable. Remember, some people are very critical on how they see themselves, to whom are they with and what other people think of them.
    Maybe he also thinks high of himself.. he wants you to be perfect or fit in his ideal girl as how he wanted you to be..

    Its up to you, if you feel he's degrading you or doesn't appreciate you for who you are, you need to stand up for yourself..
    if you think what he said makes you feel its helpful to you and you feel like you're being accepted and loved, then try to make changes yourself as what he and you wanted..

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  • You are stuck because of his money and job, and perhaps looks. But his personality is garbage so for the sake of woman kind don't stay with him it will make us look bad. haha he is really a douche bag though i couldn't handle that he will cheat on you if he did not already.

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  • Nice other than a major flaw that makes him a total dick without any regard to whatever good qualities he may have? Tell him to go fuck himself. I wouldn't put up with that.

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