Ex Girlfriend from over a year coming to me for dating advice? Not over her?

Me and my ex have been broken up for over a year. It was a really tough one for me because I really gave 1000% all the time and she would never fully commit/kind of dragged me along. I ended it with her and we went our separate ways after I finally stood up for myself. I cut her off completely and it was the right thing to do.

Fast forward about 8 months and she reaches out to me to congratulate me on a new job and over the next few months we begin regularly talking and eventually sit down and apologize for things that happened. She and I both made it very clear this was not getting back together.

We had both been dating different people over the past year and she more seriously than me. She essentially started hanging out with the opposite of me, immature, treated her poorly, ignored her, and refused to commit (what goes around comes around right?) I have been flirting with her quite often over the last few months as well.

Lately she has been blowing me up after they "broke up" (he definitely ended it) and has been asking me for advice. So in one way we have been more open than ever with each other but in the other it's very strange and we both recognize it.

The issue I have is that I'm not sure I ever fully got over her and I'm quite torn at what to do. She called me after the breakup, and in the same night escaped an attempted robbery. The next day she asked if I would stay with her, and we went to dinner. At this point I'm trying to be a good friend but I myself cannot figure out the long game here. I have refused to make any moves or push anything with her. We definitely aren't normal "friends" but it's nice having her around.

What advice can you give me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You probably won't reach that level of comfortableness with anyone else for a long time, she would likely feel the same atm.

    But be careful, she may break your heart if you rush into anything to soon. She sounds like she has no idea what she wants if she is still emotionally investing in you. Give her time to let her emotions settle and you might get more perspective of where you should take things with her. Keep being kind and try not to resent her... but maybe tell her that you are not the right person to be asking for relationship advice ( for obvious reasons) that’s a bit disrespectful to your past with her…


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What Girls Said 2

  • Let her go. She is obviously, in my opinion, just messing with your head. I don't think that it is ok to ask for advice from your ex. You can find someone much better than her. I think she knows how you feel about her and it using it against you. Move on because she is not worth your time, especially when you put so much effort into your relationship and all she did was string you along.

  • Being a girl, I know exactly what she's doing. She's broken, and she wants to get inside your head and get you to be broken again to. DO NOT FALL FOR IT! Yeah, it's good to be friends and be there for her but don't let her get to you. Let her go, and move on! You'll find the right girl soon.


What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like you SHOULD get back together. If something is making that impossible, you should back away from her so you don't go through another break-up BEFORE you are even back together!

    It's ok to be a casual friend with her, but you're seriously involved again now, but she STILL won't commit, will she?

    Usually that's a permanent trait, sorry to tell you!