A little background info: I am a guy (21) and I've recently fell in love with my best friend. I do so much for her because I care for her. I would buy her food, pay for movie tickets, talk about anything really. We are very close. But the thing is, I do this to other girls also but not as much as I do to my best friend. Now the thing is, whenever I ask girls out, they say I am too nice. The fact that I'm just being myself, it hurts to hear that. It's like they don't want me to be myself. I asked my best friend out and her response was, "I don't look at you as more than a friend, and I don't want to ruin the relationship". It makes no sense because, she's now dating a guy who has a reputation of being an asshole and using girls for sex. She clearly sees past my efforts of caring for her. I asked her if she starts getting into fights with that guy, you would try and work it out right? What difference would it be if we dated and we tried to work it out also. Me and that guy have a fair chance of things go bad. How can she lose me if she's willing to fight for me? How can she lose him if she's willing to fight for him? Makes sense doesn't it? Its a fair game. But I've been turned down for being a nice guy from others. I am confused because I'm 21 and I've never had a girlfriend because of this told reason. I don't want to change who I am. But being single, having no one to talk to, or getting the chance to spoil someone with gifts and love of caring, really hurts me to a point where I almost killed myself for it. So if you girls and guys can answer my questions, that would be great!
1) She said she is afraid of losing me if we dated. But she said she will fight to keep her current guy she's dating if they start to fright. Why would she not fight to keep me then if we started to have fights? How can she lose me if she's willing to fight for me? How can she lose him if she's willing to fight for him?
2) For the poll, do nice guys finish last?
Most Helpful Girl
1) She's simply not attracted to you, but she is attracted to him. Move on.
2) Nice guys don't finish last, no. But "nice" guys do, as well as guys who behave like spineless doormats. Nobody likes someone who's always passive, who never has a solid opinion on anything and who's never able to make clear decisions. That's what being "too nice" is all about. Being naive, and constantly following the herd of other sheep. Basically letting yourself be used just to avoid conflict and to "make" other people like you, especially the wrong people. What does she do for you in return of the things you buy for her and the things you do for her? If she doesn't do anything, then stop paying for her stuff, stop buying her food, stop buying her tickets and stop doing her favors. Seems like she's just using you for money and emotional support.2
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