Could a guy's behaviour change towards you after they like you even more?

So i met a guy online and we spoke for a week and, honestly there was an instant connection. He treated me like a princess and texted me lots, stayed up late to speak to me etc.
We finally met after a week of talking, he surprised me with flowers and was a total gentleman. After the meet I seem he is distant and I brought it up with him, that you have changed. He texts way less and is sort of emotionless. He told me that he does not want out and wants to pursue it further and that he really really likes me!! He said he has been hurt before and that he put up walls because he does not want to be hurt.
His basic explanation was i am proceeding with caution. It was easier to talk to you before we met because I would be hurt if you did not want me but now it would be worse.
DO GUYS DO THAT? If they like you even more? they put up walls and change? yet do not want to let go of you?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He may have his own stresses and worries going on in his own life? Ask him something along those lines? Instead of why have you changed? Or thinking that. I can go kinda silent on my ex when we were together only happened a few times but I've noticed how absentish i can get if im stressed... nothing to do with my girl at all although it may look or seem that way. You met on the internet so who knowa he may not be the type you thought he was, give it a. little. more time maybe change the conversation just ask whats on your mind in other ways

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    • Wow never thought of it that way! but now that i do, it is possible it could be something that is bothering him? okie will do :) thanks!

    • Yeah next time you see him just say something like, "are you ok you look like there's something in your mind?" He might open up about a problem then you may get some closure, thinking and worrying too much is bad... i know. Hope turns out well

What Guys Said 2

  • Does his reason for suddenly going from being boiling hot to being slightly off boil seem legitimate? Possibly, though when I look at his actions and his words they don't add up.

    If he has been hurt badly and he's apprehensive of jumping in feet first, then he would have been apprehensive from the get go. I've been hurt in the past and when I was still reeling from the effects I would take me a good while to really warm up to someone, but then we're all different.

    When I read your question and your post I get the impression that he was initially attracted to you, but upon meeting you and spending time with you may have decided that you're not really what he is looking for and may well be putting you to the back of his mind as he continues to date around (if he is dating around).

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    • That is how i felt and i spoke to him about it and said, I do not want to drag it out any longer and be hurt later on. I feel you want out and do not want to say it because you feel it would hurt me, So here i will do the dirty work for you. I basically told him that this is it. He then told me that he has never opened up this quick with anyone before. he says as soon as he saw me it was immediate attraction and honestly he was a pure gentleman! He would just not let me go when I told him i will do the dirty work and say goodbye. He said his heart is fragile and please dont break me. I did have exams as well and he said he was texting me lots less because he wanted me to do good at school etc etc. but also that he is proceeding with caution because it takes time for him to break down the walls.

    • I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt because as I stated everyone is different. There's a 50% chance that he is being totally honest with you.

      However, I do think you should prepare for the worst case scenario of him not being as interested as he was before you met and is just keeping you around as a back up option.

      The only advice I can give you is just proceed with caution while working for the best case scenario while being prepared for the worst case scenario.

  • Love hurts, proceed with caution

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What Girls Said 1

  • He has been honest with you so believe him for now. He's gonna go slow, maybe painfully slow so be sure you've got the patience. If he was just acting distant and avoidant I'd tell you it was his way of showing disinterest but the fact he explained his behavior shows he does like you and wants to get past his trust issues.

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    • makes sense :) patience is key, you are right!! Thank you!

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