Mixed feelings. what happens when you realise that you don;t love that person, you just love to spend time with him want him to be happy?

i've been dating my best friend for almost half a year. i really liked him but not that way... i just didn't want to lose him for good, as a friend because we get along really well, i enjoy spending time iwth him and he is really funny. so i said, hey, we could try. so we dated for half a year and then we broke up. we got in a fight because he got jelous when i talked with one of his friends andtold me that it was over. then he came to applologise but i didn't want him back. he was ruined because he really cares about me... so much that i freaks me out... more like an obssesion...
after a couple of weeks, when he went out like friends, we got back again and i lied to him i love him too., the moment i did that i felt that it was a huge mistake. i know i am kind of playing with his feeling because i don;t feel the same but i don;t want to lose him at all. i just want him to be my friend but this in not possible anymore, i've just relised that.
i want to, but i can;t break up with him... his parents are divorced, he has got a horrible childhood and this is the first time i have ever seen him truly happy. i don;t want to break his heart and it is what is; going to happen if i tell him everything. he had been truly damaged before he met me and i don;t want to ruin his trust in people. i want him to be still colose to me, i need him as a friend and i can't stand the thought that he;s going to hate me. i hate myself for this, too. i dont; know why i did this.
i need to tell him a good reason why it;s better for us to be just friends but he is too damaged to handle it.
what can i do? what would you do if you were me? how can i prevent him from having his heart broken? i trully care about him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's been through a lot thus far, yet he has gotten over it, learned from his experiences, and carried on. Therefor, as painful as it may be to him, I feel he will overcome hearing your truth about him and ultimately carry on, as well. Don't live a lie with him. Tell him how you feel.

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    • no, he has not. he still has not gotten over his parents' divorce and ha has not gotten over his ruined childhood. i am afraid of what might happen with him

    • Understood. I still think telling him the truth is better than living a lie with him. But, that's me. You know him and what he is capable of better than I do. Go with your gut.

What Guys Said 2

  • Well crap. You painted yourself into a corner. You can just write the truth in a letter and give it to him. It is easier that way. You should wait though until he has less shit on his plate.

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    • do you think that a letter would be more proper than telling the truth face to face?

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    • what would his reaction be? what shuoul i expect from him to do or say right after?

    • I dont know. It depends on his feelings for you and his upbringing and mentality. Even someone you know really well can still surprise you with his reaction.

  • Try to make him fall in love with another girl then just tell him how you feel

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    • that's not going to work... i am sure he won;t fall for anyone else at the moment...
      but do you have any ideas? :D

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