I've been dating this guy for the last year and a half. We act like we are a couple but we have an undefined relationship. We've met each other's families and friends, we've gone on vacations, we have each other's keys, etc
But I know he doesn't love me. He's always warning me not to fall in love with him, from that, I can tell he doesn't love me. And I don't allow myself to love him. What's the point if the feeling isn't returned? I have put up a wall and I don't allow myself to fall for him.
That was fine for a while, but lately I'm feeling so unhappy. The only thing I've ever wanted was to be in love and I don't have that. We have a comfortable thing going on but that just isn't enough for me. I feel like I can never truly be happy until I find love.
Am I asking for too much? Is having a comfortable thing good enough? It's more then what a lot of people have. I don't want to throw that away. But is it enough?
Should I even tell him I want him to love me so that I can love him and be loved? Is there even a point to having the conversation? If he did love me, it would have happened by now.
Most Helpful Guy
You know what you need to do: end this, make a clean and complete break, deal with the pain, heal, and move forward with your life. You are trying to delay the inevitable, and it's just going to make it worse.
And when you're feeling that pain and hurt, remind yourself that this is what happens when you invest your feelings in someone who doesn't feel the same way in return, and resolve not to do that again. If you and a guy don't feel the same way about each other, or don't want the same basic things in life, then you aren't compatible, and no matter how strong your feelings are for each other, it won't work. It also won't work if one has feelings and the other doesn't. Don't waste your precious time with such relationships - only invest your time, emotions, and heart in relationships where the guy also has feelings and wants what you want.2
Most Helpful Girl
Hmm honestly I would feel the same but it amazes me that even though he is telling you he's not ready for that next step and even though he's trying to convince you not to love him he still stays? Maybe he's just using the relationship as a comfort thing? Maybe he's just "settling" with you but he's not ready to settle which is wrong and it's good that you sense that.
You deserve better, honestly. But it's not a good sign if somebody is convincing you not to like them, usually people only try to convince you not to love them when they are looking for somebody else to be with or to put the other person off. For instance girls who are not interested in guys will say "I'm crazy, don't fall in love with me, I'm hard to deal with!" Just so the guy won't fall for her, sometimes she gets in a relationship with them other times no.
I know it hurts but... if you're not happy leave look for a new man :) maybe try an online dating site, speed dating, or just waiting for the right guy? Go to the gym, stay healthy, take care of yourself, be a nice and friendly person and I'm sure another guy is bound to notice you :)1