Texting less, calling less, seeing each other less.. getting excuses?

Been seeing this woman a little while. After we first had sex, she would find ways to see me almost every day. If she wasn't around, she would text or call.

Lately things have slowed down. There is often 2-3 days between seeing each other. Then texting has dropped to maybe once or twice a day. First it was work was cracking down on texting, then she would get out of work and say "my phone is about to die. Left my charger in my desk. Talk tomorrow".

She still manages to fit me in occasionally outside of work, and days off I may get one of those days, the other for family or friends.

I do not think it is hopeless. I did just meet her family the other day. I also mentioned to her once I felt things were moving kind of fast.

Should I worry? Or is it her just making the most of her time and now she is beyond that initial "want to spend all my free time with you" phase?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think she's losing interest. Ignore her for a little while. Maybe for about a week. If she initiates a text or calls you, sound busy. Text back with as few words as possible.

    If she really likes you then this will drive her absolutely crazy and she'll show interest in you again. Pinky promise c;

    Sure relationship's tend to die down (I guess) but really? barely talking is not normal. And it doesn't seem like you've been together that long anyway.

    I say ignore her for a bit. But actually BE busy. In your free time, hang out with other people, do something fun or do something productive.

    Do yourself a favor and do not just sit around waiting for this girl. Otherwise you will just set up your relationship to stay this way as time goes on. She'll keep blowing you off and expect you to be eagerly awaiting for her arrival.

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    • P. S
      After a week or so of pretty much ignoring her, CALL her up and ask her to do something with you. If she still doesn't make time for you, I say cut her loose. She's not that interested. Good luck.

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    • Lol you made it sound way worse than it was. I got the idea that you weren't seeing each other, not really talking and not texting either.

      Aww that's pretty kute though. You must really like this girl.

    • I do. And at first she was a little more into me than I was into her. I suspect part of the change here is those interest levels are changing. Mine is likely higher than hers now.

What Girls Said 5

  • i think if she didn't like you she wouldn't have introduced you to her family. I think because you said things are moving kind of fast she has decided to slow things down a bit. Texting can become boring after a wile if you are meeting up quite frequently and to me 2-3 days is frequent. Although the whole phone is about to die thing did sound a little like she was blowing you off, im sure there was another way she could have talked to you. If you want my honest opinion I know exactly the way we work I think you have probably paid too much attention to her or acted too interested and she's starting to go the other way. Is it usually you texting/ calling/ asking to meet up first or is it a joint effort?

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    • She usually initiates the texts and calls. I respond. But there are times she texted and I probably dragged it out a little too much.

      As far as planning the meets. I am unsure who initiates them. She tells me her available times and I set things up with that information. It is done while together face to face, in a conversation. Rarely ever is it done in texts anymore.

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    • The meet with the family seemed to go well. I got good vibes. I asked her how she felt it went and she said "They often act one way in front of a person, then talk different to me when they are not around. I will let you know what they say." I haven't heard anything yet. I assume that will be discussed tomorrow when we meet up. Oh, and I am not sure where we are at in terms of a "relationship". Exclusivity was brought up, but in such a way where it wasn't so much promised, but expected (her words).

    • well If her family does like you that will be a good influence on her decision of whether or not she does want to continue things with you. Hopefully its good news. to me it sounds like she is not sure on what she wants yet, after all she is still a young girl, just keep it casual for now and see how it goes give it a few months before you have the exclusitivity talk

  • she probably is getting tired of chasing you. if she always initiates the dates, calls and texts first that can get annoying to a girl because we start to question "why doesn't he call me? would he talk to me if i didn't call/text him?" she's probably starting to see that there are other guys she doesn't have to chase. if she's a decent looking girl there are most likely men trying to chase HER, so you might want to step up your effort to show her your interest

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    • I would buy that if there wasn't excuses made for me NOT to contact her. Going home to go right to bed, battery dieing, out with friends and not wanting to be rude texting, work not allowing it anymore.. etc. The window of opportunity to even make contact is shrinking.

      As far as dates go, we work out the next date together at the end of the current date. Who actually initiates that? I would guess it is 50/50.

  • Excitement of a new relationship tend to die down... this is completely normal. Try expressing your concerns with her and she'll most likely have a good reason as to why she's more distanced. She also could be very busy

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  • what a little hustler, hats off to this lady! no disrespect but its usually the guy making the girl worry about all these things and have confusion and heartbreak. But no I don't think you have to worry, i think you should start worrying if she stops talking to you all together or doesn't bother making excuses anymore! afterall you did meet her family, good luck!

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  • Sounds like she is really busy. Talk to her and ask her when she is free next cause you feel like you haven't seen her in a while. She may be one of those girls that is more worried about work and family than a bf, and want someone who is ok with that. Only way you'll find out is by making plans and talking to her about it.

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    • We tend to plan the next meet before we part ways on the previous. Recently she did break one of those as something came up, but we had already had 2 days planned, the first being the one that couldn't happen. Day #2 went as planned. We do have the next meet planned.

      I think I am overreacting. I really like her and enjoyed all that attention. I guess it couldn't realistically go on forever like that. Just have to tweak my expectations and enjoy what time I do get.

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    • Yes, I absolutely did. And this all started right the day after I said that.

    • She may have been a little offended. Thought you were hitting it off really well, then was like "Woah he doesn't feel the same way. I really like him, so I'll do what he asks." So dont worry. She is most likely doing what you want to not push you away.

What Guys Said 0

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