Should I convert to be with a girl I like?

So I have a fairly difficult dilemma. I recently started talking to a girl in my college. I go to a private school and most of the students attending are international. The girl I started to get a crush on is from Ürümqi but was raised in Japan and looks Japanese so I consider her to be more Japanese. But since her parents are from Ürümqi she was raised as a Muslims. Last semester we began to speak to one another since most of our classes are the same due to us having the same major/minor. So we helped each other out with homework's and class projects. I didn't have a crush on her I actually wasn't trying to crush on her since one of my friends liked her, but slowly I began to like her. She would occasionally flirt with me and is now comfortable enough to put her hands on my lap or shoulder. I didn't plan on liking her but now I do and she's actually quite amazing, smart, pretty and sweet. The problem however is since she is Muslim she is not allowed to date someone that is non-Muslim. Im a deist and to be quite frank dislike some of the religious beliefs Muslims have and the way some are portrayed to treat woman. One of her friends asked me if I would ever convert for someone I loved. I said no. Im not 100% sure if she's really that all into me but even if she were it seems I can't date her unless I convert. I don't know what to do. I thought of a few things to do one being to convert but I don't like the religion, the other was to be more tolerant and accepting of her religion so she will accept me, or try and make her convert, or do my best to woo her into liking me even if I'm not Muslim or should I give up even though I actually like her? Apparently I also have a lot of competition for her.-. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You should never have to convert. There are couples who follow 2 religions.

    The reason why muslims don't want their daughters to date non-muslim men is because in their culture, the man is thought to be more.."powerful" than the woman. So if a muslim man wanted to marry a christian woman, it wouldn't be a problem. Because the way they think is that the man's mind will influence the woman to convert to be muslim. They won't accept a Christian or any other religion man to marry a muslim woman, because they believe the man is more likely to convert the woman to his religion rather than her convert him to be muslim.

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    • I guess a better word for "powerful" would have been influential. I couldn't think of the right word.. haha.

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    • Yes that seems to be the case. I see more Muslim men being able to have more freedom when it comes to choosing their spouse. I wonder though would it be ok if I simply wanted to be with her regardless of her being Muslim and not wanting to convert her? I do like her a lot that I would consider converting but then again she should be with me if she liked me regardless of religious belief. And I see thank you so much for the input!

    • I'd say it depends how radical her parents are. If they're radical, it probably wouldn't be accepted.

What Girls Said 2

  • It's a bad idea to convert if you just wanna date her. If you want to marry her and you love her with all of your heart, then that's a different thing. I'd say that if you think she's worth it, then do it but never do anything that you don't want to do. Do it because you want to. If you don't wanna convert, I'd say to move on. Never woo her into liking you as a non-muslim, if she absolutely isn't allowed to date a non-muslim cause that would just get her heart broken.

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  • If she likes you for you then you don't need to change anything about yourself.

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What Guys Said 3

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