When your friend and someone you like start a relationship?

Have any of you been in the situation where a friend of yours got in a relationship or started dating someone you really liked? What was it like for you?

This happened to me on two occasions. Yes, I had asked the girl out and she said no thanks. Ok. Within a week or so, they both got into a relationship with friends of mine (one is my best friend). I REALLY liked both women, and it was very painful just to have them reject me, but the pain doubled down when they started seeing my friends. As with all pain, it eventually went away. I didn't end, or even consider ending, either of those friendships (they are still my friends of more than 25 years). I was friendly to both girls, but I'd be lying if I said that both occasions weren't difficult times in my life. By the way, both friends knew I liked the girls a lot. At times, I had fun hanging out with them, but other times I had to fight back tears. I've always found the best policy when being rejected is to politely walk away. However, in both cases I couldn't do that if I wished to continue seeing my friends. Ultimately I believe it took much longer for me to get over them than it would have otherwise. What I learned was that the odd man out in a love triangle has no fun, but to have ended friendships would have been far worse. Then, not only would I have been rejected, but I'd have been out two friends.

I ask this because I've recently encountered two questions on GAG about friends dating crushes. I was a bit surprised to find out that some were considering ending their friendships and some were advising them to end their friendships.

Any rate, what's your opinions and stories?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a story! :) Thing is. The guy I like started dating my closest friend. It hurt so bad. And the thing is? I got them together because I wanted to make them happy... It was a gut wrenching experience seeing them in classes and have the guy I like (my best friend) go on about how much he loved her... now? They broke up. But he isn't over her and it still hurts so bad to know I can't compete. But. Time moves on and we eventually find someone special. It may not be now or even tomorrow but it will happen soon and that something to look forward to.

    Hope I helped? <3

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    • Welcome go GAG, Elizabeth101. The first girl that this happened to me with was somewhat similar. I went to bat for my friend. However, if I hadn't gone to bat for them, I rather suspect they would have gotten together anyways. It just would have taken longer. You are a good person, to want to make people happy. He will be a lucky man when you find the guy who returns your affections, my dear.

    • Thank you very much! I really appreciate it! :)

    • Did he know that you liked him?

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes it has. He's been my beat friend for over 14 years and counting. I've known him all my life and when we got closer as friends I realized I liked him more than a friend as we got older. But he's always loved my cousin. Apparently he always has. And well they started to go out. He has always been around my family so it wasn't weird. But when i saw them both talk and he hold her hand and things like that i couldn't deal with it. I would walk away or make up an excuse rather than stay there and see them together. Well in the end my cousin realized that she ddidn't have the same feelings as he did. And well they broke up. They're still friends but I don't think I could ever go out with him because he went out with her. However we are still best friends. I couldn't just push him out of my life I mean its 14 years of friendship. But in the end I guess I got friend zoned.

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    • (in a sarcastic voice) Haven't you heard, Anon? The friend zone doesn't exist. Out of curiosity, did this guy know how you felt? Did your cousin know how you felt?

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    • Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

    • You're welcome and no problem.

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeaa, definitely hurts man. Feels awkward too when you hang out with your friend and the girl is there uggh </3

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  • It has happened to me before and it hurt, but in the end I was pleased for my friend, he was happy, she was happy and although I was hurt by the situation, I ultimately moved on and found someone else.

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    • The right thing to do, CypherV. Did both your friend and the girl know how you felt?

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    • That I'm a selfless person and I am proud of being selfless.

    • Kudos. Thanks for stopping by.

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