Ladies - Playing hard to get - is this an indication of low interest in the guy?

Ladies when you play hard to get is it because you have low interest in the guy? There seems to be a general male consensus that when a woman plays hard to get, she's generally not really interested in that guy but likes the attention he provides. Would you say this is true?

If not how would you describe the reasoning behind your playing hard to get, and which point is it TOO hard to get, i. e. if you keep postponing plans, or sending mixed signals when do you realize you need to stop or else you're going to lose the guy (assuming you are actually interested).

Updates:
Actually is hard to get even a thing women do anymore at all even?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There are three types of "hard to get" women:
    1. The girl who's ACTUALLY playing hard to get. She downplays her interest in you in order to make you chase her. She also does it to not seem desperate or clingy.
    2. The girl who's simply shy. Shy people might seem like they're hard to get, but really, they're just having trouble speaking up and letting you in.
    3. The girl who isn't trying to play hard to get - she's really just not that into you. Some guys believe that her "no" means "yes", when really, it just means "no". Plain and simple.

    So it all depends on how you interpret a girl's actions. Is she playing hard to get, or is she just shy? Or maybe she's not interested at all? Who knows. You'll figure it out eventually.

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    • This couldn't be more to the point.

      +1

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    • I can see 3 different scenarios here:
      1. She's the first kind of "hard to get" girl, meaning, she plays hard to get to test you out. Just like she said. And she's going great lengths to do so, by even flirting with other guys to get you to react. She seems pretty extreme. She's going cold on you to be able to tell just how far you'd go for her.
      2. She started out playing hard to get, but she's losing interest in you. She knows that you're probably still into her, so now she's just playing games.
      3. She was never truly interested, and only did all these things for your attention.
      Since I don't know this girl personally, and I don't know your entire story, I won't be able to tell which scenario is the right one. However, I can tell you this: she's a headache. Imagine what being in a relationship with her would be like, if she kept playing all these games. Wouldn't you grow tired of it eventually? I say move on, and stop chasing someone who's too immature to be upfront.

    • I would just ask her since she already admitted testing guys to you before, it seems like she would be pretty about the rest of her intentions of you just ask her. As I said before, I'm entirely not a game player so you wouldn't even be wondering about things if it were me. Honestly out doesn't sound like she's playing hard to get. You have to imagine ANYONE that really likes someone, even playing hard to get, you may postpone texting back a day or two, but in reality if it's someone you like them you are going to want to keep seeing them. Even if your schedule is insane. No one puts someone off an entire semester, that's like saying they don't want to date right now. Maybe just not you, maybe just not anyone. Id move on because she's obviously just not that interested.

What Girls Said 6

  • I do not play hard to get. Society tells us all these rules "never text first" "wait three days" " don't tell him how you feel" "don't tell him what you want" .. Those rules are dumb. If I like a guy I'm going to text him, show I'm interested, and if he doesn't like it or show similar interest I'll move on.

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    • *round of applause*

    • Ok, in which case can you look at my comments under lumos post and tell me your opinion on this situation?

  • I'm very direct: I don't play hard to get, so if I look hard to get to you, it's because I am. So, I'm probably not interested in you and it will be extremely difficult to make me change my mind.
    If I'm interested in you, I'll show you that I am.

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  • I don't play hard to get with the guys I don't like.. But if I like the guy, If it seems like it it's because I am shy. When I am interested in a guy I am talking to, I am making and effort, texting him first, listening and caring to what he has to say, stuff like that. But apparently, my ex-crush was blind -.-. lol Or just not interested.
    If I am not interested in the guy and if he wants more than just a friendship I just politely tell him no.
    So I am pretty shy because of my insecurities and it may seem like I play hard to get, but I don't do that unless I want to test the guy a bit to see if he at least cares to initiate a conversation with me.

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    • Ok, in which case can you look at my comments under lumos post and tell me your opinion on this situation?

  • No it's the opposite it's not low interest but really I don't follow those rules and might only hold back a little early on. For the most part, I show a guy I am thinking of him, calling emailing or texting him first, too.

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    • Ok, in which case can you look at my comments under lumos post and tell me your opinion on this situation?

    • Hard to get rules influence women and we are always advised to NOT show a guy we like him because that leads to it being too easy for him and that he will lose interest. We are also taught that a man will go the ends of the earth to pursue you if you are 'the one'' and otherwise it's low interest from a man if he does not chase us.

    • I understand that, but I meant was can you look at my comment posted below in response to "lumos" response to my initial question and tell me what your opinion of my specific instance is?

  • When a girl "plays" hatd to get it doesn't always nean that she has no interest. I am like that too when I really really like a guy. It sucks...

    I probably do it cause I wanna be sure if the guy is really interested in me or not. Its stupid, I know...

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    • That's an easy way for a guy to lose interest, unless you let him know you're okay. I personally would still likely put off by that though. I find directness more attractive maybe.

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    • I have for a while, and she just keeps standing next to me not saying anything but sending all the indicators of interest. I've constantly caught her staring at me from across the room, and so have others who have also commented on it, but isn't this is a little too hard to get?

    • Jeez - even if she stands next to you, ignore her, I don't know she seems kinda weird. I dont get why she acts that way

  • It's the opposite for me. I play hard to get to the guys I like

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    • Ok, in which case can you look at my comments under lumos post and tell me your opinion on this situation?

What Guys Said 3

  • They play h2g to see our motives.
    Whether u are trying her to get into her pants or u are really into her. But there is a thin line btwn plahying hard to get or stringing u along for attention. Dont put up with her shit tests. Get reciprocals and do something with assurance of u getting something back...

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    • If the girl is >25 age. She won't act disinterest. She is actually dis interested/not into u. We assume she is shy. Shy girls will give u chance to get her. But discreetly.

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    • As I said, even others are taking notice.

    • maybe its attention seeking method... as girls like attention. they might miss the attention. so they will try to eek ur interest out and may enjoy in the attention poured by u.. be clear and tell her... if u are not into me... then fine... if she is truly into u. confrontation will bring the best out,. as they may fear you may go away... dont over analyse my friend

  • I don't whether playing hard to get or blowing hot and cold are definitely signs of disinterest but that's how I perceive them and I tend to just move on.

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  • She is gay.
    Lmao
    I know I m going to get many downvotes.

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