Is my girlfriend avoiding me, or am I thinking too much?

So I've been going out with a girl for about 2 months now. Everything was going great until about 3 weeks ago. We were just hanging out, and I decided to open up to her a little bit. I told her that b4 we started dating I was having a rough time with some stuff, and that since we started dating things had gotten a lot better for me. I told her that she helped me get through it, and that I really appreciated that she spends time with me. My intention was to be sweet, and tell her that I really care about her, and I won't lie, I was hoping she would responded in a similar fashion. However, she responded a little too casually. She pretty much nodded and said, "That's nice"... now keep in mind this was three weeks ago, so that isn't exactly what she said, but that was the gist of it.

Anyways, ever since then every time I ask her if she wants to hangout, or anything, she sorted just dances around the question, and doesn't give me a straight answer. I feel like she's avoiding me. We haven't spent anytime, just the two of us, in like 2 weeks.

Also, the other day I was at a party, and she was there too. So as her boyfriend, I naturally go and try to spend time with her. But every time we started to talk, or dance, she would stick around for like 5 mins, and then go run off somewhere. Keep in mind she is a fairly social person, and I am a little on the more casual side when it comes to parties, but even then I found like she didn't want to spend time with me. What makes things even more confusing is one of her friends, who i hadn't met before that night, kept telling me how much my GF likes me. I should mention that her friend was pretty liquored up at this point.

Now, I'm pretty upset right now because I REALLY like this girl and don't want to break up, but I'm starting to get a vibe that may mean she doesn't feel the same way.

Can someone please give me some advice to see if I am actually in trouble, or just thinking too much.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can come up with 2 explanations...

    I think she might be doing stuff behind your back and is trying to push you away without completely hurting you. Which is messed up but everyone has done it once in their lives, or at least I have before. And I've had it done to me before.

    The other explanation is that she is trying to see if you'll put more effort in. Like kind of testing you a little bit, in that case if you really like her and don't mind playing that game then I would say just put more effort in. But if you're anything like me you'd find that immature and pull away.

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    • I'm a little worried that it may be the first explanation... but in regards to the second explanation, what do you think would incite her to do something like that? Like we were doing really good, up to the point that I mentioned. Would opening up to her make her want to test me?

    • I don't know girls are complex creatures, I realize that sometimes I feel like I need more from a guy when I probably really don't.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should talk to her and ask her whats wrong because otherwise you won't really know how she feels about you.

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    • I plan on it. As a girl, do you find a guy asking you to hangout often, even if they're your boyfriend, as being clingy?

    • Sometimes yea cause i like my personal time to and also time to hang out with friends.

What Guys Said 2

  • this is a pretty common issue. Some girls don't like it when guys open up to them. Its like a devaluing of a priceless item. Some girls really enjoy it when a guy can confide in them and tell them anything but other girls are completely repulsed by the idea of a man having any sort of emotion. You may have been dating one of these girls and not realized it until now.

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    • That confuses me. It has always been my interpretation that girls appreciate it when your honest to them. I know not all girls are the same, but it's pretty common among most people.

    • I know, but some girls are different.

  • She's telling you she doesn't want to be serious; just wants to keep it light, not hear about your problems.
    Without judging her, just accept that. You can't force someone to get serious; she may not be in a place where that would work for her right now.

    If you want to keep company with her, adapt to her signals and just have fun. Don't ask her to 'get involved' too much with your problems.

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    • Okay, if this is the case, why won't she agree to hangout at all? Like I'm trying not to be clingy, but I've asked her to hangout quite a few times in the last 2 weeks, and she hasn't said yes to any of them. Even if she doesn't want to be serious, shouldn't she at least want to spend some time together?

    • She's worried that if you spend time alone, you'll go back into 'help me with my problems' mode. Pretty common at your age not to want to get involved with other people's problems.. she just wants to have fun.

      Try asking her out with other people; if she agrees, be careful to keep things fun and light, and maybe she'll say yes to being just two people the next time.

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