How can I become attractive to women?

I'm 23 years old and I've never had a girlfriend or even a girl interested or even think I'm attractive. What can I do to become attractive to women? I am thinking of getting plastic surgery in order to fix my facial flaws. People say that I'm very friendly and cool, though I am really shy when it comes to women


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As long as you are in decent physical shape, your appearance isn't likely to be the issue.

    95% of the time, if a guy can't get girls, it's because he lacks CONFIDENCE. That's the single most attractive thing to girls - it's why so many girls go after "bad boys", even if they know the guy isn't good for them: they are SO attracted to his confidence that their emotions completely overwhelm their logic.

    Think about every guy you've ever known who was good with girls. Are the always the best-looking? No. Always the richest? No. Always the most talented? No. All of those things help, sure, but all of those guys have CONFIDENCE.

    What does that mean? It means those guys don't care what anyone thinks about them (well, they probably care what a small handful of people think, but everyone else can suck it as far as they're concerned). They also have ZERO fear of rejection, because they know that if one girl turns them down, they just move on to the next, and that to some degree, it's just a numbers game. Because they are confident, they flirt with, hit on, and ask out girls CONSTANTLY, and they've learned to let rejection roll right off of their backs and not to take it personally or make a big deal about it.

    If you've ever watched the show How I Met Your Mother, Barney Stinson is exactly this kind of guy, and he is amazingly successful with women as a result.

    Since you are just starting out, you begin by asking out EVERY girl who is attractive to you. Don't wait around psyching yourself out, just DO IT. EXPECT to be rejected, and learn not to care if you are. Once you can have that attitude, you'll be (and seem) FAR more confident, and ironically, girls will start responding to you more positively. Plus, like baseball, every trip to the plate brings valuable experience, and soon you'll be knocking them out of the park.

    Eventually, you'll be able to focus more on a particular girl and be successful, but DON'T try that at first - it's too restricting.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Now now, you have no idea what a girl is thinking. There is nothing wrong with your looks. Plastic surgery comes with risks of infection (which will definitely mess you up) or scarring (which will also mess you up).

    Sometimes just taking the leap to ask a girl out can seem like a crazy task. Find a nice girl that you think is cute and even if she says no, a nice girl will do so nicely!

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  • I don't believe that you've never had a girlfriend!! I think your very attractive pretty sexy in fact just saying! Don't change for some stupid girl

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    • And another one.

    • Show All
    • "Well confidence is key you got to own it!! "
      Amen, sister!

    • I guess I've never had that confidence issue I've always been like either you like me or don't but I don't have time to waste on I'm not sure my times is to precious for that. So take a seat and let the next guy appreciate what you didn't just saying! Goes with females to for you men!!

  • I was a lot like you a couple of years ago. Everyone said I had a great personality even though I was shy. I believed that no guys found me attractive and I started to doubt my looks. But then I started to makes the first move if I liked a guy and guess what? I did have a few admirers before I was just too closed off to notice.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Right, I'm going to post this again...

    You look totally nice and approachable too. Don't give up! "
    -bellegirl16
    "God what are you waiting for? You look nice and attractive."
    -findingdreamland
    "Don't give up! You're so cute and you have a great smile."
    -anonymous
    "I think you're cute, nice smile to boot."
    -hara-kiri
    You're not my type, but you are cute and have a smile that brightens your face. Your looks are good"
    -norgekvinna
    "Oh pls don't alter your face! You look fine in ur pic"
    -anon0001
    "I find you attractive ! "
    -chocolateismylover
    "I think you're really cute and you have a nice smile "
    -anonymous
    "I'd say your at least a 7. "
    -orangefire22
    "7.5! Your smile is killer! "
    -missconfused93
    "I give you a 7. You are above average "
    -anonymous
    "6! Not bad at all :) "
    -amygrillet
    "8/10 you look above average and really friendly and open "
    -pink acid
    "well first of all you're cute :)"
    -anonymous
    "You're good-looking. For the record"
    -anonymous

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    • These are but a few of the answers to your several "how do I look?" questions, youngmaninfamus. I beg you consider that the issue doesn't seem to be your appearance. I believe the issue is you are shy and you don't seem to be very confident. That's understandable. Who said confidence is easy? However, I think you'd do well to consider that you should focus on your swagger more than cosmetic surgery. I don't know you well enough to know what your personality is like, so I can't help you there. Perhaps you could ask a trusted female friend? I believe that's the way to go. Not cutting up your face.

    • Wait are these things the females on here told him? Yeah like I haven't heard those before or similar ones. I would never ever take anything the female users on here take seriously. I believe the only reason why any women on here tells a guy he's good looking is because they don't want to come off as shallow. This is not to be disrespectful towards the QA but I get where he's coming from.

    • I would direct your attention to the responses women gave to MLTguy (I think that's one of his thousand user names). Many, if not most, answered he was too overweight and therefore unattractive. If you don't "ever take anything the female users on here take seriously," why are you even on here? Wouldn't it be better to go to some guys ask guys site?

  • Has anyone ever said directly to you that you're ugly? There are probably loads of girls who see you and find you attractive every day, you just haven't talked to one who will admit it to you. What you really want to do is gain more confidence talking to girls and get less shy around them. The best way to do that is to talk to more girls. When you talk to girls, you don't always have to think of them as potential girlfriends or dating interests. The more girls you talk to, the more comfortable around them you become.

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    • I don't think anyone has called me ugly to my face. That's the problem I don't go out much because of anxiety and thinking that all girls think I look like the elephant man. You're right though I need to work on trying to talk to women somehow

  • I can't post links yet but google that and read the article, this is an interesting read worth your time.
    how-to-be-charismatic-7-powerful-tips-from-the-mentalist

    Seriously, take a look.
    That is an excellent article that explains how to increase your charisma with simple tips.

    People notice a charismatic person. They tend to smile, be interested and curious and are fully present in the moment. Also, to be charismatic, you need to be self confident (which is a point that comes evey time that kind of question is asked.)

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  • Well it could be worse? try being 28 almost 29 and never having a girlfriend or hell never kissing one. I'm so damn ugly women don't even want to be friends with me. And yet they claim looks don't matter to them lmfao. We do the asking they make the decisions who they find attractive and its never me.

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