We were gonna have sex but now he just wants coffee?

Basically hooked up with a guy/had a first date with him. Went good, we both had fun and he texted me when he got home. So we've been chatting since then and we both decide to go for coffee but when I ask where will I meet him he says why don't I come to his and he'll make me coffee and whatever happens, happens. I'm up for that coffee and a bit of fun with an attractive man? Yes please. But when I texted him asking for his address he said he'd rather just meet in town for coffee to chill and chat. Do you think he's actually interested in me more with him wanting to meet on an official date instead of coffee at his and a hook up?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Most Gay guys are only interested in Sex. It doesn't sound like he is after a serious relationship. Or he could just want to meet with you again to see if there are any lingering feelings for you or if he is ready to move onto someone else. Either way I would get a coffee with him and see what the deal is.

    • But we're only at the start of whatever it is. This would be a second date, to give it a label. Maybe I should have explained myself more, lol, what I meant was do you think he is interested in more than just sex if he wants to just chat and get to know each other more?

    • Hard to say. But he could either want to get to know you better, and possibly hook up again, or just say "Thanks, it was great but I'm ready to move on". Either way I wouldn't stress over it. If he wants something more great, if he doesn't, at least you had some great sex right?


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What Girls Said 2

  • He's obviously still interested, just go without expectations. Maybe he's not comfortable jumping into bed with you yet

    • Thank you :) I'm hoping it's that. Granted, we both did stuff on our first date but we did talk a lot and he was very considerate compared to some other guys. I feel more positive now, definitely not go in with any expectations (which might be hard lol). At least he still wants to meet up.

  • Maybe he doesn't want a serious relationship?

    • But if he didn't want a relationship, surely he'd just want sex? This would be classed as the second date.

What Guys Said 1

  • Any chance he's fucked someone else, isn't sure if that's going anywhere, isn't exactly committed in that one, but isn't really ready to be fucking other people either, so want's to keep 'dating' and seeing how your connection is, while exploring whether that other guy is going anywhere?

    • It's entirely possible. We both met on an app that, depending on the person you ask, is either a hook up app or a dating app. And he is online a bit - but so am I and he's the last person I did anything with last week. I'm hoping he wants to just get to know me better and not want a sleazy, hook up that might ruin any chance of something more permanent or semi permanent. We both had a good time the first time and he seems interested - after we had sorted out the details yesterday he message saying how horny he was... something he's never done before which I sort of took as him getting more comfortable to be able to say something like that. Nothing happened last night cos his housemates were home and the thought of a dodgy car park didn't appeal to either of us. Thanks for the input :)