Is it wrong to stop talking to a guy because you think he is a whore even though you have no legitimate proof? Or should I not listen to my intuition?

Ok so I'm kind of dating this guy ish were no where near official though but I feel like I'm just wasting my time because he's gonna hurt me in the end so I kind of just wanna stop talking to him. I like him don't get me wrong but what am I suppous to do? I only been seeing him for a month, we're not that close and if you lived in my city you would be cautious to. I don't wanna get hurt again. It's not like I can just straight up say hey are you a whore? Lol

Reasons I think he is a whore cuz he has a car that players usually drive a sports car, he only texts me about 3 times a week and the conversations are pretty shallow in terms of there just on the surface of small talk they never get deeper then that, his friends are whores and so is his sister. I herd about this one girl he banged that he wasn't dating I know that doesn't make him a player but if he can do that so easily he's probley still talking to me and doing that even though I have no proof. Also he never told me he liked me yet he only called me stuff like gorgeous, cute etc etc. do you think he just wants to hit it and quit it? Do u think he doesn't want anything serious?

It's to early to have that talk I just don't wanna get anymore invested in him before I make then. Like he is a very nice guy but I feel like there's more to him that I don't know it's just a gut feeling. Even though he comes off as innocent and nice you can tell he knows what he wants and he doesn't stop tell he gets it.

Updates:
I guess I should say that I turned him down before and he tried to make me give him a chance so I did. Maybe he thinks if he bed to clingy I'll push him away? Then again he's not the insecure type he's pretty confident

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he's been seeing you for a month he isn't a player. When I was single I was a player. No way would I date a girl for over a month if all I wanted was sex, in fact if we hadn't had sex by the end of the first or second date I'd forget about her and move on to someone else.

    Now, the fact that I was a player and slept with quite a few girls doesn't mean I don't want a relationship. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year now, never cheated or anything. You've heard of him sleeping with one girl he wasn't in a relationship and he's a whore? lol you should probably buy yourself a load of cats instead.

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What Guys Said 24

  • Your intuition, aka your "instincts" are never wrong. There are a lot of broken hearted women who ignored that voice. They regretted it. listen to your instincts.

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    • Agreed!! There's a reason that we have instincts, to warn us of possible "danger". Even if its the slightest one, it could mean you'd need to take a better look at the situation.

  • My look at it:
    *-"cuz he has a car that players usually drive a sports car". I've known players with old clunkers, others with a limo. And with a sportscar too, indeed.
    *-"he only texts me about 3 times a week". Does it make him a player?
    *-"the conversations are pretty shallow in terms of there just on the surface of small talk they never get deeper then that". again: does it make him a player?
    *-"his friends are whores" Personal knowledge or hearsay?
    *-" and so is his sister." Personal knowledge or hearsay?
    *-"I herd about this one girl he banged that he wasn't dating I know that doesn't make him a player"
    ...

    If you don't like the guy, why kinda date him? Nobody forces you to do it.
    You clearly don't like him. That's OK. Just move on then.

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  • You're reasons for suspecting that he is a man whore are completely ridiculous.
    He texts you three times a week so that he doesn't seem clingy. Conversation is likely shallow because clearly you're putting up walls.

    Tone down the crazy or cut this guy loose so he can pursue someone more rational than yourself.

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    • Oops, your* :)

    • I try to tone down my crazy even though I didn't show him that side of me and I will never

    • If that side of you is present, you have to show it an be real. Otherwise he will figure it out one way or another and by then the relationship might be very strong and it will be even harder then.

  • In most things I say "wait for evidence," but if you feel like you're going to get hurt and pressured into doing something you don't want to do, you should probably keep your distance.

    Actually you mentioned that you "kind of just wanna stop talking to him." Maybe you need a break from him to take some time off and discover if you actually miss anything about him.

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  • The car he drive don't mean nothing, I think since you have been hurt before u put up walls so u not hurt again, ur skeptical, but hey relationships is about taking risk, if u do like him as ur bf, talk to him, ask him what he wants, what he looking for, better sooner than later, depending on his answers u will know what to do

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  • With your mind already set and how you talk you should tell him you are no longer interested and move on. There is no way you can string him along if you feel like you do and not come off as being a dick in the end.

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    • I'm not trying to lead him on. I'm trying to prevent myself from being lead on. I'm just scared

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    • Lol omg people are so mean! I seriously do like him no joke I'm scared that I'll end up liking him way more then he could ever like me

    • You didn't make yourself clear if you now say you want to stay with him. Fact is relationships hurt, even friendships and relationships with family, your ideal partner will still hurt or upset you occasionally too. If you always play it safe you never experience better things. A car doesn't make a player, in my experience guys who use cars to pull are usually only pulling on their own genitals. He doesn't text much, he could be busy or not talkative but that's something you can talk to him about. Previous encounters or friends actions also don't prove anything, things can be one offs and people don't act just like their friends. If you want to find happiness you got to feel sadness along the way.

  • Just because he drives a certain type of car, and don't much doesn't make him a whore. You have gotten hurt in the past. So like a lot of women your decisive and you put up a wall and judge someone without getting to know the real them.

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  • If your gut feeling is that he's a player then you are probably right. 3 texts a week when you are just starting to date. Although I'm not obsessive I would have talked more than that. Have you been around to his house? What happens if you ask on a date on different days does he come up with excuses? Plus if he's being shallow , sorry I'm a guy and that means he a just after sex nothing else.

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  • Shouldn't be making conclusions without solid evidence.

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  • Ask him the same thing i ask any love interest..." what are you looking for more 1.) A trusting companion.. OR...2.) An exclusive relationship?"...
    If he doesn't mention anything about a relationship... then its not important to him.

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  • Go with your intuition and if you like him get to know him more, but do not let your feelings and emotions make your decisions, if you do you will more likely get hurt. I would keep talking to him and if there isn't a change in how he acts or he becomes more of what you thought he was, then you just go your separate ways.

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  • I say dump him if you feel he's that way. You could be right about him being whorish. Girls instincts are usually better than guys instincts. Good luck.

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  • you think he is a player cause of the car he drives? what the hell? that's crazy!
    you say your no where near official but you complain he only texts you 3 times a week?
    you even say he's a nice guy
    you need to get over yourself and dump him so he can go out with someone who will want to be in a relationship with him and not make up shit that he hasn't done as proof to dump him...
    go get some help!

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    • I'm not making up things to dump him! I can't dump him anyways were not together but for real I atcually do like him I just don't know if or he could ever like me

  • you have to go through pain to get what makes your life worth. what if he is the one, what if not. one girl wants to get me back after she left me for someone else. I am the one who have to get along with girls like you but you. whatever you want to do, do it and leave him alone. you won't understand till something happens. well it's time for my anti-depressive candy

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  • I say listen to ur gut... more women wish they did!

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  • Just because he drives a car you think he's a whore? I, like most guys I know will never date a chick who has chosen a man to be her gynecologist - as it's likely the slut will want to continue to be touched and felt up by the man even once we're together - and who the f**k would want to date a girl who thinks her wanting to have another mans fingers inside her or hands all over her breasts is normal?

    ... but blame a guy for having a nice car? That's shallow.

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    • then male gynecologists would be out of jobs :P

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    • To everyone else, watch the video at www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1044264-motivation-for-a-career-choice-genius-or-creepy ... then ask yourself, why have these 'ladies' choosen to have a man do their vagina and breast exams. Sluts.

    • Hey - not **ALL** girls who have a male gynecologist are sluts, in some small towns there may only be creepy guys available. But you're right, if it's a genuine medical check, when given the choice between having a man or woman doing the exam, I don't know why any girl would actually choose the guy.

  • Reverse roles. He breaks up with you and calls you a whore with no proof, how do you feel?

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  • Trust your gut and break it off with him. Pursue love elsewhere.

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  • You can trust your intuition and not talk much with the guy.

    But assuming someone is a whore without solid evidence is ofcourse wrong.

    On a different note - if you think the frequency doesn't quite match between you two, then definitely there are better guys you can date. It's your personal decision to take.

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  • Seems kinda wrong but intuition is reliable

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    • Ok so? Lol

    • Detailed version:

      Your concern seems legitimate since there's not much communication and he's around "whores" as you put it. The opportunity may arise for sex being in his situation and since the connection between the two of you isn't strong he might take it. No way to say for sure.

      Plenty of non players like sports cars, this is irrelevant.

      You have been hurt in the past and now have your guard up to protect your heart. This is called emotional baggage. It will play a role in every relationship you have, so it would be wise to sort through this before committing to a love. The reason for this is so you protect yourself but at the same time express your feelings without causing the partner to suffer due to paranoia and insecurity.

      My vote goes to taking a break until circumstances are better and maybe even searching for someone you have more of a connection with.

  • Ask him directly if he is a whore. lol

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  • It would prove that guys and girls can't be "just friends", if you did

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  • Only if you're not or weren't a whore yourself.

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What Girls Said 27

  • I'm all for following your gut and intuition, but sometimes our head can get in the
    way of our hearts. Especially, if ones been hurt in the past. It can lead to one having
    there guard up and over analyzing every little thing (whether it be justified or not).
    And, honestly him driving sports car, doesn't mean anything. Neither does just having
    small talk. And, honestly we live in world where casual sex is more common then not.
    So, him sleeping with some girl without dating her, doesn't mean much (not now a days).
    Plus, you said you "heard it", so you don't if it's true or not. Look, if you don't feel there's
    a connection or a chemistry there and you don't see it turning into long term relationship.
    Then you should tell him that and then stop seeing him, but don't just stop talking to him
    without a reason why. But, don't throw something away just because you THINK he's a "whore",
    because you don't know that. And, all reasons you gave as to why you think that. Aren't
    reasons at all, but just fear. So, just follow your heart and do what feels right. Good luck.

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  • I don't know if he's a player. You dj. No proof. However it loos as if you don't like how he treats you and feel a lot of doubt which he's not alleviating by being caring it straight up.

    Player or no he seems lane and you don't seem impressed. You can get hurt by a non player you can end up in a good relationship with a player... Forget about defining him based on unfounded conclusions. Life's a risk relationships are part of life. You want to try or you don't. You like him or you don't. No guarantees... You either like him enough to risk things not working which can happen with anyone anytime.. Or you want to end things.

    You can't date him and brain the verge if ending you must choose. Let life happen. If it doesn't work you're closer to discovering what might and if it works yeah.

    If you didn't like him you wouldn't be writing about him. If you were sure about him you wouldn't be writing.. It's ok to not be sure doesn't mean you aren't intersted.

    I say go ahead give it a try see how if ford. You may break up with him bc he's boring not bc he's s player.. At least you'll have tried.

    Go and see.

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  • Have you been hurt in your past or something?
    I mean, wow !
    If you go into any relationship with that attitude it's bound to fail.
    It seems as if you'd be the type to create problems that aren't even there.

    You cannot think you know someone based off of their family and objects they have
    In their possession.
    That's plain ridiculous !

    I think you should reevaluate yourself and why you are this why before you
    even consider any type of relationship with a person.

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  • I think some of your reasonings are a little off like the whole car thing BUT it does kind of sound like he's not interested in much more then what you have at this point. The not texting and not talking about anything in depth is a pretty poor place to try starting a relationship. If you have a gut feeling it's probably right, also, if you're already doubting your trust in him that's not a good sign, trust is key in a relationship, so it doesn't sound like it would be a good idea. I'd say either keep him as a friends with benefits, or stop it all together. Good luck!

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  • You should probably trust your gut it's usually right. He does sound like a player / man whore. If you want to make sure you could keep seeing him just hold off on sex and see if he sticks around, but honestly I think you are right and I think you know you are right

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  • Intuition - especially girl's intuition - is a pretty powerful thing. I'm not saying it's always right, but in most cases you should listen to it.

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  • No I do it all the time. Do not settle and follow your instincts. I have found most of the time I'm right

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  • I think that everyone deserves the benifit of the doubt

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  • Yep go with your gut instinct girl.. and the signs that he isn't texting you much and is shallow means he is only texting you enough just to keep you around.. as a booty call, back up girl.. what ever you wanna call it.

    Don't settle for a guy that you think has other girls on the side.. your better than that, and better than being used ;)
    Good Luck.

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  • LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION!!! THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE ONE

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    • To prematurely pass judgement on somebody?
      All of the reasons she gave are bullshit.

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    • Haha you can't compare the two. I'm not saying go talk to that guy with the gun and bloodstained clothes, but she's simply judging based on a few pieces of irrelevant information.

    • I understand what ur saying but if u look deeper the small pieces of info really aren't so irrelevant if u really analyze it. u have to put all the evidence together to build a case: nvm the sports car bit.. but this guy barely talks to her, she's heard rumors about him and he is close friends with other guys w/ questionable morals. her intuition is going off for a reason

  • You have to do what you feel is right, and if a man is giving us signals that make you feel suspicious or insecure, please honor that and don't keep investing in him if you feel he isn't worthy.

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  • Run girl run! My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend along with every other girl in the school! He was not to be trusted and I totally trusted him a 100% and look what happened... I mean your guy could be totally different but some guys are just man whores and they always will be. End of story!

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    • Ya that's why I'm scared! The guys are calling me crazy lol but I don't wanna ignore warning signs if they're there because u never know what's gonna happen. I just won't completely trust him for a very long time and I'm so sorry that happened to you. Your best friends is a bitch

  • Go with ur gut.. And if he's only texting u 3 times a week then ur obviously not that important to him. I think we both know u deserve soooo much better... A guy u can trust and makes u feel special (ect.)

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  • The car doesn't prove anything. You need to clear it up and ask him about his past partners and clarify yourself. Making assumptions won't help and will only hurt.

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  • Hmm I'd say just proceed with caution but show interest. Stay in control of the situation

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  • He's a man who re if you feel it like your positive something is wrong about him than don't go for it sometimes it's good to trust your gut

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  • messages you 3 times a week? no girl you know he is a ho... you obviously don't mean enough to him for him to actually invest time in you... leave him

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    • Lol were not exclusive or official I just think that even if ur not dating officially if he really liked you he wouldn't be sleeping around although other girls let that slide cuz there not official I just think if u get in a relationship it shows how interested in you he is

  • Go with your gut... Otherwise, give him a chance to prove your feeling wrong.

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    • Lol you didn't really answer my question

    • Yes, at this point I think he wants to have fun with you and that's it. Seems he hasn't done anything extraordinary for you and is keeping you around for one purpose.

    • Ya he never tried anything yet but so I'm unclear of his intentions, thanks

  • Dump his ass I'm dealing with they same situation don't nobody have time for games. If u see no potential in building with this man than go with your gut instinct 9x of 10 it's right

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  • Listen to your guts. And don't stay but treat him like friend while dating someone else

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  • If you know he is a whore why would you want anyone like that? self respect..

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    • Omg I said I don't know he's a whore when did I ever say I knew he was a whore? If I knew he was a whore wouldn't be talking to him

    • No need to freak out on me here. When you suspect that he is a whore than you basically think that he is one, or else you wouldn't have questioned it. There has to be something that makes you think he is a whore.. and usually when there are small "signs" we push it away in order to believe the "good" things.
      I spendt 4 years thinking a guy i was in love with wasn't a whore.. trust me he was.. i only lied to myself.

    • isn't it easier to date someone who you dont need to question? Someone you KNOW is nice and not a "whore" i mean is it worth it?

  • lf he acts like that, just dump him, just turn around and walk away

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  • Don't make excuses for him. You know he's no good for you. Don't force it to be right when it's wrong.
    You've got a keen sense of a quality man and you know he's not a quality man.
    There's nothing wrong with keepin' it movin', as in, forgetting him.
    Trust those feelings. That intuition. Your gut. You've got this, don't question it!

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  • Always follow your guy feelings

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  • Well first off, for him and his friends to actually be whores they have to accept money for sex, and I doubt that happens. Secondly, how do you really like this guy if you only talk to him a few times a week and have shallow conversations?

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  • Personally, one of the things I really dislike is being ignored for no apparent good reason, and I don't think it's just me. No matter what you decide, you should be brave enough to tell it to his face - that you're bailing for whatever reason you wanna give.

    I think it's kinda funny how you say "I think this guy is a whore, his friends are whores, his sister is a whore, his conversations are pretty shallow and I wanna stop talking to him, but he's a very nice guy" !
    Lol, is he?

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    • He is super nice he has never been rude to me and he has not tired to have sex with me or anything buttttt ya his friends are whores and his sister was I don't know if she still is and just something about him makes me think he just really likes to get laid. It's hard to explain but ya he is really nice

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    • It could be you being afraid after that last experience, but I will just say that whenever I thought a guy was a player, I was never wrong. Even when I just confirmed it a bit too late...
      I would just not take him too seriously until enough proof otherwise. Or walk away.

    • Ok thanks

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