Men stop the games just be forward?

Why are men my age still afraid of rejection? Told a guy I've been flirting with to just wish on a star for what he wants (just the flow of the conversation) and he sent a winky face? What is that supposed to mean? My friends and my adult daughter say he was hinting he wants me but really? Why doesn't he just say that? I'm a divorced woman and these games seem ridiculous. Why can't middle aged men put fear of rejection behind and just say what they mean. It's frustrating. What is he trying to say?

Updates:
When I failed to reply he messaged back a just kidding text he was just hoping to have many years of good health and happiness. That's why I think he maybe felt I didn't respond. But the truth is I didn't see the message because I was busy.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • As a middle aged man, I'm not afraid of rejection any more. But.. in my experience, women do not like it when a guy is that forward.

    I can still remember the first time I saw the movie Tootsie, and Jessica Lange remarks when drunk that she would really like it if a man just came up and said he liked her and wanted to make love to her, no bullshit. So Dustin Hoffman does that, and she throws a drink in his face. (Brilliant movie, but confused me at a young age.)

    You might think you want directness, but a life times experience tells guys in our middle age that women don't know what they want.

    As a middle aged guy, I'll tell you what I've found to be true regarding what women want - they want a bit of mystery, they want something to talk to their girlfriends about, they want the thrill of guess work and they want to think about the possibility of what's inside the present before they rip open the wrapping paper.

    I find that by being fairly direct but not too direct, I make middle-aged women feel great about flirting with me and it almost always leads somewhere good. But not too quickly. And with those sorts of successes behind me, why would I do anything differently with the next woman, no matter what she claims she wants?

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    • Yea I think I would feel overwhelmed so you are correct. He responded 30 minutes later with a just kidding text so that's why I was inclined to think he was hinting at something. He said something like... no I really just want health and happiness

What Guys Said 5

  • In this era, males are highly criticized just for being male. Boys can't roughhouse and climb trees; theyre considered mentally ill and put on ritalin. Teen boys are bastardized for acting aggressively at all, from being interested in girls to basic social interations.

    All this translates into adulthood.

    This is a very feminized world we live in now. This is why masculinity is a dying breed.

    It's to the point that any guy acting in a classic and overt masculine way, is considered a rebel by today's standard and has to fend off the feminization of today's ways.

    P. S. im referring to the USA where i live

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  • You might be reading too much into it. Anyway, 'games' have been going on ever since human civilisation began - before that it was a blow to the head and dragged away.

    I notice women over 35, say, get frustrated because relationships get more complicated, maybe when they expect them not to be. Remember, we guys are subject to games from our teens to young adulthood- all the time, from girls the same age, who have more pulling power. As we get older, we become more appealing (more financial freedom maybe), more intelligent (wiser) or at least, we think we do, while women have to look after children, do a job etc.

    Just act the way you always did with men, instead of expecting a directness which probably will never happen, and if it did, you'd probably find boring anyway, as long as you have a pulse, lol...

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  • because it doesn't work that way, guys learn were not wanted, because guys are rejected and girls are usually not rejected, so why should a guy be forward? rejection hurts, all a guy can do is hint things and a girl should already know what to do, i mean come on guys are mistreated and judged by girls in this world especially if a guy wants sex with the girl he loves, and girls are the ones who control sex no guy in the world has that control, also have you ever walked in a adult video store and look at the shelves there full of mags etc with naked girls and there's is a little corner with a few mags of naked guys, that tells a lot about the sexes it says girls dont want guys, or girls can actually have a guy when she wants vs a guy who can't have a girl in the first place

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    • Good point about the porn! Yes very small section.

  • Any man raised in the 1960s or later in the Western world (so pretty much any non elderly man in the Western world) is likely to be shy/ afraid

    Funny story. Im in early twenties. A couple of months back I had a big night out with a lot of friends and friends of friends. One was 40yo or so. He couldnt believe that in a nightclub I approached a girl that I "didn't even know". He was shocked LOLs

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    • I know right? Damn this world is so anti masculine these days!

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