Will breaking up with a guy get him to commit?

I've been dating this guy for a few months. It's like he wants his cake and he wants to eat it too. He wants me to be his girlfriend but not fully commit to it. Like deleting his dating profiles and stuff. He told me his was in love with me this weekend and I don't believe him because why would he need to have a dating profile and stuff? I broke up with him and I meant it. But I love him too so I'm wondering if this will make him come to his senses.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No.
    1. You're being manipulative. By breaking up with him you are ending the relationship and your hoping this will make him commit. On logical grounds this doesn't make since. On emotional grounds it may. So in a way your hoping that by breaking things off with him you'll effect his emotions and make him come back. Or in other words your manipulating him.
    2. If you have to manipulate him neither you nor the relationship is worth it. A manipulative person only manipulates because they do not believe other people will accept them on their own so they turn towards manipulative means. Or in other words you sound insecure. You may get the outcome you want but not by the means you want. By manipulating him instead of allowing him to make his own choices your forcing him into a relationship through extrinsic motivation instead of allowing him to intrinsically motivate himself into marrying you. Years down the road that extrinsic motivation will backfire as it always does and make him realise he didn't marry you because he wanted to he married you because he was scared.
    3. You're still not in control. By manipulating him you think that you will get the outcome you won't but it may very well go in the opposite direction leaving you alone and forced into trying to find another relationship

    In short. Don't do it you don't need too

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    • Disregard my post I didn't read the whole question sorry. I thought you were already in a relationship with this guy. This advice isn't for you. You've already done the right thing. This advice was referring to marriage. This guys not good relationship material and you've definitely done the right thing letting him go. If he wants you he'll come back and he'll change. Be sure to remember the changing part.

What Guys Said 5

  • i don't think I'd rely on a break up as a way to get a guy to commit. it may work in some cases for guys who sort of need a wake up call but for guys who are sort of non-committal like this guy seems to be it may not do anything to urge them to make a biger commitment

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  • mmm idk. he will definitely miss you but to make him commit? only he can commit when he is ready to commit. you will never be able to force him to commit to you. he would eventually realize its not what he wants if he didn't want to naturally commit to begin with. you're going to get beat at your own game:P

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  • no, it will give him one more space in the stable.

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  • It won't necessarily make him commit, but you still did the right thing. He was basically openly cheating on you which says a lot about how he feels about you.

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  • Maybe. Slight risk he may walk away but I doubt it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • i don't really think it will. he seems like a douchebag. i feel like he only told you he's "in love with you" so you'd stay with him and he can make it seem like he actually has feelings for you. there's no reason he can't put a label on it if he says he's in love with you. thats just an excuse in my opinion. if you love someone, you need to commit to them. thats part of what love is.

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  • Heck no. You can't change a man. They're gonna do what they want regardless

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