Do guys like being chased or do they like doing the chasing?

Im curious to know if when dating and in a relationship if guys will hold out on texting to see if their girlfriends or the one their interested in will text them first, or to see how long it takes them to text? Do they enjoy when their woman texts them first? Im not much of a chaser but im begging to to believe my guy likes this game.

Updates:
Ill lay off the texting for a while cause i got board. Then he starts texting me like crazy. I know he works. Im just saying i think some guys like the attention

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a little bit more complex than your question makes it out to be. Plus, your subject says one thing, and your question focusses on how much a guy will wait in texting. I think these are two different issues.

    Let me share with you my own experiences...

    Every woman who has been involved in my life has invariably been the one to take the first step. At least she made her intentions very clear. As I see it, it's not so much an issue of chasing or being chased, but rather about waiting to act till real possibilities appear.

    Maybe I'm just unsure of myself, or maybe I hate rejection (and losing) and can't take it. Resultantly, I'm very cautious when it comes to taking the first step. Who wants to be disappointed? To be turned down?

    In addition to his, women have a deeper sense in terms of reading a person's mind. (A woman can easily detect a man who's interested in her, whereas a guy could easily misread a woman.) There's another factor too: very few guys will turn down a woman (this is true in most societies, specially where the gender ratio is not too squewed... I'm not talking about societies where there are too many single or divorced women floating around). But guys can often get a rejection from a girl.

    Once I get a signal from a girl that's she's interested, more often than not, I'll work on it. I won't play mind games to check how keen she is, or how long she'll delay before texting (most men are not great game players!) But mostly a small signal is enough to set me on the track.

    Of course, this is assuming that both are equally interested in a relationship or whatever, and it's not very one-sided...

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    • Lol your the first one who has understood my question im quiet impressed

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    • Ugg wait. Got this question confused with my newest question. Lol. You could answer that one too if youd like. Im silly sometimes.

    • Something to do with the simple saying that "absence makes the heart grow fonder"?

      Sometimes, we treasure more what we fear losing too...

What Guys Said 11

  • It's a tough question. I do enjoy the chase a bit in terms of doing nice things to try to win a girl over, but I'm not going to keep going after a girl who gives me the cold shoulder all the time. Generally I like to wait until it is clear there is some mutual interest before I begin any sort of "chasing". In the couple of cases where I felt like the girl was chasing me, it felt great to be seen as desirable for a week or two, but after that it ended up freaking me out and driving me away.

    Personally I'm not a huge fan of texting. This is part of my problem, as I don't feel the need to be texting all day, so typically the girl starts texting me first which I ultimately end up finding annoying. I'm sure its something that could be sorted out with a conversation, but I, like too many guys, am not always mature enough for that (and more importantly, I haven't been that interested in any of the girls who started chasing me).

    So like doing the chasing, helpful if there are some signs of mutual interest, enjoy the girl texting first on occasion, but it can get kind of annoying pretty quickly if it's more often than I want to talk.

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  • I am at a point in dating that I am online but I will only reply to women that email me first. I am also at a point where I love my alone time. when I was young, and even while I was married I was so afraid of being alone I would have just chased and done anything to keep her. Now I am at a point where I am not interested in a woman unless I really know she wants me. So sometimes I text and call and do the mushy stuff. but then sometimes I purposely don't do anything to see what she does. I have had at least 2 people I just didn't bother to call back... I didn't hear from them for like 2 days... and when they finally did text I as like "guess You weren't as interested in me as I was in you, bye" . I have found I really like my freedom. so I don't worry about it. I am lucky though, I found someone that has been chasing me hard. and we hit it off really well. so it is a win win.
    but even my profile says I want her to make the first move. and since I hate match. com, it says in my profile that I am not looking at anyone on that shitty site and if they want to meet a "like" or a "wink" is not enough, they must email me.

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    • But.. do you ever wait to see how long it takes for her to text you. On purpose. Just to see how interested she is in you?

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    • So after a period of time you will start think she's not interested. But enjoy her texting first? Sometimes i want him to text me first but i think he's waiting for me to text him first. Thus no one gets texted.

    • The problem is women want equality but only on some things. when it comes to relationships all you hear is "he has to make the first move..." Well I want to feel wanted. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with her. and I don't mind taking the lead usually but it can't be all the time. As I say, right now I am in a "i just don't give a fuck.." space. if I find that right woman awesome, if I don't I am loving the 2 weeks when I don't have my kids and it is just me at home. So if she sends me the email or text first then I will engage. but if she doesn't so be it. if I start dating then that is my test. after a few days of me going first then I don't do it on purpose. if she doesn't text me first, after I just did it first the last 2 or 3 days.. then I will just dump her. she obviously isn't interested in me.

  • there's guys that like the chase and there's guys that want to be chased. both exist.

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  • I enjoy a mutual chase without games. Attention is good, but being ignored to get a reaction is no good in my book.

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  • Honestly I hate both. I'm not a kid anymore. The appeal of chasing a woman is long gone. If a woman wants to chase me it's not hard. I prefer directness to anything.

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  • I personally like her to actively text me. I think most guys do. But not when there's nothing to really talk about. Don't text constantly asking wyd 10 times a day

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  • I was chased once... she was crazy.. I was scared out of mind, still am scared..
    She chased me down the road with a baseball bat, and threw a shoe or two at me...

    All I did was pick up her dog!!! I guess I shouldn't have put him in a cage when I did it.

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  • I'm too ugly for girls tp chase or be interested. And me chasing girls makes me look like a creep. No matter what I do I come off as either creepy or desperate. I can't win.

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    • Well wht if i said i was interested in only nerdy and highly intelligent guys. Then what?

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    • Really people amaze me. The guy im seeing i think is amazing but when i show pictures of him to my friends and family they make ugley faces to me. And i can't understand why. I think he's hot sexy! So.. wtf does it matter what anyone eles thinks. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

    • But I'm not attractive big difference. I've even been given dirty looks by ugly women that should tell u something.

  • We like chasing but to a certain extent. We want you to show your interest too. We shouldn't be the one ALWAYS doing it

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  • i love being chased

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    • You dont have to be anonymous to say that :-) but um anyway will you ever wait to see how long it takes for a women to text you? I think everyone is missing that part of my question.

  • I want it split down the middle. We live in an equality society right?

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What Girls Said 2

  • It depends how confident the guy is. Usually confident guys love to be the one doing the chasing.

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  • Guys have to chase or they will get bored.

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