Boyfriend insists on bringing other people to our dates?

Yesterday I asked my boyfriend to the movies, as there is going to be a French cinema festival in my town and I know he really likes French films. He immediately said we could ask B., a friend of ours. I told him I was after a romantic, private date, and he just answered something along the lines of "ooh, come on, that's fine, lets call him". Romantic, hun?

He told me it's just because he doesn't like to walk home alone, so if B. Goes, he has some company. Although I'd understand this if it was a matter of safety, it's summer here and there's many people on the street, not to mention we live in a very safe area. He just doesn't want to walk alone because he'll be bored.

This has happened so many times before. Every time I ask him for a date (and yes, I do SPECIFY it is a date), he'll ask along some other friend. I ask for us to go alone, and sometimes he even gets mad when I keep asking for privacy and romance.
Even when he arranges activities for us, it always has more people involved. The only time we get alone is when we stay home or when we go get coffee.

I usually just ask him to forget the date and end up not going anywhere, because after he tells me this, I don't feel like going anyway.

This is literally the only thing I have to complain about our relationship. Everything else is brilliant. If I had any other issues, this could be a huge dumping situation, but that's not the case.

Why is this happening, and what can I do?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It sounds like he's afraid of things getting serious and of admitting that you have a relationship that's more than just hanging out together. That it might lead to something more exclusive than he'd like, and having a third person there makes it a group thing that you're doing rather than something you're doing as a couple.

    If you want to have a more serious relationship, you'll have to come right out and tell him that. It really looks like he doesn't want that and he needs to face it and decide whether to commit to it or not. If he doesn't want to, you would probably be better off going your separate ways -- at least for now.

    There are people I know who had a relationship, parted ways for a while, and eventually got together again. In the interim they both dated other people; they didn't wait for each other. After a while their goals were in sync and it was all right for them. So if what you each want now isn't the same, it may be over, but it may not. Good luck.

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