I love my bf but my parents are making it too complicated. Should I give up?

I know you may be thinking, "If you really liked him you wouldn't want to give up", but it goes beyond that.

I still live with my parents and we've been together for three months now. I kept it hidden at first because my parents are super strict (very very very strict, I cannot emphasize this enough). After two months, I decided to come out in the open and I did, which didn't bring good results.

It was a mess, my parents don't want me dating him and I've been lying my way around to see him. Please, will someone help me? I don't know what to do!

I don't want to break up with him because I like him so much, but I don't know how much longer I can survive with all the lying. If I came out again and told my parents I was still with him, they'd force me to never see him again.

HELP!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What reasons did they give you not to see him? Why don't they like him?

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    • They're very religious so they said that I shouldn't be dating a non-believer. Little do they know that I don't follow their religion either.

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    • Unfortunately not, that's out of the question for now. I'm only moving out in a year.

    • Well there is your answer. You are a dutiful and obedient daughter if you are considering indulging your parents. I have a lot of trouble standing up to mine so I'm really projecting on you here. Correct me if I'm wrong. Bottom line, your only right answer lies in your detachment from your parents. You can't know what the right thing to do is, until you get to a point where your opinion comes first. As long as you defer to them and attach to their authority as a crutch in your life, you won't be able to say: "You're wrong, I figured out what is best for me on my own." No matter what you conclude on your own, you'll just rationalize: "Well, they probably know better. And they do care about my best interest... So..."

      Tell your guy everything and make a decision regarding how to go about handling your relationship for another year. If he loves you, he will probably do his best to keep the connection alive, while you make some distance, until you move out.

What Guys Said 7

  • look parents are overrated... they only want what's best for them in view of their kids. Screw what they think... and who cares lie if you have to... if this guy means a lot to you (and is a good person i would hope).

    Its your life... and they don't really need to be involved. Because when you get older... they may still not approve of the man you date... so what are you going to do, dump every guy till mom and dad say "i like this one."
    -_- live your own life.. not the life your parents want, because then you'll never be able to actually feel like you have control.

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    • He is a really good person, I can promise you that. And yes, you're absolutely right!

    • well then good.
      Don't think about your parents, itll just bother you more and more. Its not fun.
      But its your choice really... and don't let yourself get screwed over because mom and dad have to dictate your miniscule choices

  • If its not like they know he is a bad boyfriend and its just the general overreacting my kid should be forever alone kinda parents ignore everything they say.
    You have a right to love and be loved!

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    • I do!

    • Also if you are not going to hide him again from your parents.
      From time to time it shouldn't be wrong to mention how great he is for you and how happy he makes you. Eventually they should turn around and be happy (atleast i hope haha).

  • parents are always right, because they have more experience in life than us, but it dosen't mean you have to always think that they're right because afterall they are human beings and human make mistakes. but i think any parent who cares about his or her children they will be strict.

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    • I understand my parent's perspective because they're looking out for me but if I were to as much as tell them that I'm going out with my bf, they wouldn't let me.

    • look bad time dosen't come before telling you, good things come to those who wait.

    • and if anyone say that dont listen to your parents and go with your bf, then make sure that if anything goes wrong then they will be with you to fix it.

  • I'm not sure what your situation is. But I dated non-Black girls whose parents didn't approve of the fact that their daughter was dating a Black man. In my situation, if we stayed together, and one day had kids their parents would frown upon them. So I can't have that. If it's just a personality thing he can prove them wrong with time, though.

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  • You're not a kid any more, you can do what you like. The only thing they can do to you is kick you out of the house, which I doubt they'd do over dating a guy.

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    • See, that's the thing. I know that they can't do much about it but I'm too afraid to try and see.

    • Well then... I don't really know what to tell you, other than to not be afraid

    • Yeah, you're right.

  • Dump your parents out of the house

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    • Haha I wished I could

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    • That's exactly it. Their reason was stupid, pathetic religion.

    • ohh wow lucky guess... so go with him for sure, don't stop seeing him :)

  • I really do think that if you love him, you wouldn't give up...

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What Girls Said 0

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