Why don't guys wanna date me?

I'm 5'4, 185 Ibs (carry it ok) , strawberry blonde hair, brown eyes, and people tell me I'm pretty sometimes. I'm pretty confident but also pretty quiet at school.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The things that hurts u the most is not your weight... it's you being quiet.

    Girls that consistently get guys, know how to give signals to guys (smiling, waving, giving constant eye contact, playful touching, etc).

    As being a guy, I can tell u that approaching females can be tough and nerve racking, so us guys usually approach through female that gives us the best odds of success...
    ...
    ...
    ... the one who smiles at us across the classroom, or waves at us at the coffee shop, or playfully touches us while standing in line.

    Whenever I hear of a girl having difficulty attracting guys, I truly believe it is because she isn't giving guys signals to approach her.

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What Guys Said 12

  • The weight is having a staggering impact on your dating prospects.

    Its not the only thing, but its huuuuge.

    Which is... good news. Because it's a lot more fixable then other reasons people are single, like 'they have ugly faces' or 'nobody likes their personality' or 'they're really boring'.

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  • Wow, I'm sorry you're getting all these answers. If you're okay with your weight, that's fine.

    Some guys are shallow and will dismiss because of weight but not all guys are. You're young, you might not have met the right person to date yet. Guys mature slower than girls, so sometimes we need time to catch up.

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    • Thank you (: and I kind of got off track with weight because I got a sport injury and had to take a bunch of meds that made me gain weight and I couldn't do physical activity for a long time :((

    • That's perfectly fine. My sister put on some weight as a teenager for a similar reason, and it came off about as fast as it came on. If you want to lose weight to feel better or healthier, then do it. But don't do it for anyone else, least of all shallow guys.

    • Thank you so much! And I'm trying, I'm down 5 Ibs

  • It seems like you're kind of baiting people in to saying you're overweight. Or may it's a test. There will be guys interested in you at that weight, but being obese will lessen the amount. With that said most of the people I encounter are obese and many are married.

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  • you'll find someone. there's a person for everyone. just focus on you.

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  • tbh, I'm not really physically attracted to overweight girls. I'm sure you have lots of lovely qualities though. It's hard to get an impression online.

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  • Being quiet is going to hurt a lot... but not nearly as much as being 185 pounds is. 185 on a 5'4" female is very overweight, if not downright obese. Most teenage guys want girls on the thin side... so much so to the point where you aren't going to get hit on if you're chubby. So you need to lose about 85 lbs if you want a (hot) boyfriend.

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    • More like 40-50 pounds. 100 pounds at 5"4 is underweight

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    • I guess you're one of those guys who prefers underweight to a medically healthy weight, but exactly, that's your preference. Its ok to say she should lose weight but don't tell her she should lose weight to become unhealthy again

    • Well... the fact that it's my opinion is implied. And I said to stay above 100, and that i made a mistake. But 110&120 are not unhealthy weights. Also... the question asks why guys won't date her, not what weights are healthy. I'm just saying what weights are attractive, not which weights are within the 'healthy' range.

  • Too overweight. That sums it up.

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  • With these details I would surely want to date you...:P... Just kidding, jokes aside,,,, You seem to be a decent girl and whether it is a boy or girl decent people take time to get attention from opposite gender, but when they get, they receive from a deserving one, once from all... don't overthink this. I did the same when I was of your age 5 years ago... But you must learn to love yourself... As you are confident, you will get someone soon...

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    • That was rude..

    • Excuse me, in what way it was rude. Please correct me whereever I was wrong or you misunderstood me.

    • oh sorry never mind.. wrong opinion!

  • Because you're 85lbs overweight.

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    • Don't hate just because you don't fit society's standards.

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    • Thank ya! At least I'm interested in people my own age. Playaaa

    • Ya. I like girls who are less than half my weight.

  • You're medically obese. No good looking guy is going to want to date you--being so overweight kills attraction. get in shape and dating will be much, much easier.

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  • You can't say you're pretty then go anonymous. That's called being cocky, which is saying something without backing it up. No proof, no truth

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  • You're too quiet, and you're lying about being confident.

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    • how do you know I'm lying about being confident?

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    • Hey the advice is free, take it or leave it.

    • @opinion owner. Lol you're what's wrong with all the HS kids. You seriously think every happy confdent person is on the cheerleading squad? That's not what it means to be confident. Confidence is being happy with who to are, cheerleader or studious academic

What Girls Said 7

  • It doesn't matter about your looks. You need to be out going and social. Get your name known. Make everyone know you. Make friends and be nice to everyone. Don't be afraid to speak up. Be funny, sarcastic and humorous. A guy will eventually realize how cool you are. But maybe he doesn't know you exist yet!
    And you're still in school, whether it's highschool or elementary school, you've got time

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  • just eat more healthy stuffs and be in better shape

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  • 5'4 and 185... that's why you're not beating the boys off with a stick hun

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    • wow that was kinda rude... not like you're miss perfect or anything, hun (:

  • You sound pretty and i 'd say your confidence needs some work...

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  • why don't you make the move? or intiate the conversation? If your just gonna wait until prince charming is gonna sweep you of your feet your gonna have to wait a looooong time :p. Just go out and have fun, be open.

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  • You're obese. Your BMI is 32. I say, get healthy and everything else will fall in place. It'll give you confidence

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  • You may not seem approachable. Being quiet and shy can sometimes just make a guy not want to approach you. Be more talkative and outgoing, see if it changes. Other than that, I'm unsure. I was always quiet and shy when I was in highschool, it seemed like that was the biggest problem for me.

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