How should I act? Guy with a baby?

So I been talking to this amazing guy. We have a lot of quemistry everything's good. He was very honest about the fact that he has a kid who's not even a year old, with his best friend. This happened cause he was deployed and she found out after he left. He's very much a good dad , spends time with him looks after him etc. Im unsure how I should feel about all of this since I never dated a guy with kids before but I know this is becoming more common nowadays. He is 23 and I'm 19 almost 20. How should I act? I want to be with him if he is really interested will he have time for both of us?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I had a kid at the same age as him.
    And a kid is a major part of him.
    If you accept and care for him, you're going to have to
    feel the same way about his child.
    No one is asking you to immediately step into the Mother role.
    But if your relationship becomes serious you have to be okay with that role
    and learn to love that kid has your own.
    If you're okay with possibly doing that in the future, then don't treat him any
    differently.
    Take one day at a time, ride this thing out, and see where it leads you.
    Kids are a joy!

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What Guys Said 2

  • He will have time, just not what you are use to. For the next several years his life will revolve around that baby, and not so much you. This is a delicate balance, but naturally the baby will need the bulk of his time. You will have to realize that many nights and weekend won't be going out without that baby. Is that something you would be interested in?

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    • If I really want to be with him then yes it's totally new and uncharted territory but if everything goes well then yes I guess so.

  • Things will be good if he makes it that way, him having a kid is a package deal
    as the ole saying goes, but if you two can work things out i see no problem,
    you got ask yourself how much do you like kids, how do you feel going with a
    guy who has kid, you know the girl he had a baby to is going be part of the
    picture always, he may have to make trips to get the baby and how is the
    baby's mother with you these are all things you got ask yourself , I'm not
    saying your there's problems with you but there is all kinds stuff happens
    in these situations and the thing is your both young yet , it will take lot of
    thinking things over

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What Girls Said 3

  • You have to take into consideration that he will always put his son first. If he wants to be with you, he will make time for you two.

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  • If things get serious with this guy then his kid is going to be your responsibility, too. Are you seriously ready and willing to take on a motherly role? That's an important question you should ask yourself. Him and the kid are a package deal, and I know firsthand how a stepparent can influence your life (for better or for worst, mine happened to be for worst). If you two get serious then ultimately that's what you'll end up as, a stepparent. I know that's looking somewhat far ahead into the future but because he has a kid you have to be ready for that.

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    • Yeah it's a little shocking and totally new experience but yeah I understand it's a package deal. Im being very understanding he was also honest about the fact that some girls once he told them went poof. Im thinking and been thinking long term here since it's such a big deal. Im unsure how I should act sometimes should I just be super understanding?

    • Well, if a person doesn't want to be a stepparent then they just don't want to be a stepparent, and that's understandable. Great guy or not, he does have a child, and no matter how great he is, if you aren't willing and able to take care of a child who isn't yours then it would be in everyone's best interest to not pursue the relationship.

  • If he abandoned the woman who gave birth to his kids - he will do the same to you. You shouldn't meddle in their lives. Let him be.

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    • I never said he abandoned them he didn't know. Also they don't want to be in a relationship.

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