How do you ask the person you're dating if they're seeing other people?

I've been dating this guy for 2 months, and I really like him, but I just want to make sure we're on the same page. I'm not looking to ask him if we're 'in a relationship' right now but I just want to see if he feels the same way.

How should I bring up the 'I'm not seeing anyone else, I hope you're not either" question without sounding awkward/invasive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The same way you said it in the last line. Something like "We have been seeing each other for a couple months, and I am not planning on seeing anyone else, I just wondered how you feel about it?" You have been seeing each other for long enough to where that shouldn't freak him out, and actually at the point you are at is a very valid question. You don't need to put a label on your relationship, you just simply want to know how he feels about it and if you are exclusive. It is especially important if you guys are having sex for safety reasons.

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    • Yup, I don't want to intimidate him or anything and put him on the stop about being 'committed'... just if he's not seeing anyone right now. Yes, we have had sex so that's why too. Thanks so much! I'm really nervous to bring it up still, but feel like I just need to know where I stand so I can feel more assured.

    • Just don't say it in a cornering manner and you will be fine. Make sure you use the right tone of voice too because that's important. You don't want to sound bitchy or anything like that. Just that you want to know.

What Guys Said 4

  • You should just ask him "Are you seeing anyone else at all, or online for possible dates, etc?" At this point, that's not a weird question. You just keep it as a question -- without a frown or anger, etc. Make your facial expression & tone Neutral.

    Now, one shouldn't believe what the guy (or girl) says when asked -- but if you've been dating for 2 months, you should probably get a more honest response. You want to know where you (two) stand at this point.

    2 months in, you guys should be aiming for a "relationship". If you guys see each other over 2 times a week, you're already in one, whether you like it or not.

    And if it's been 2+ months and you both agree not to see other people, you are a couple -- whether you like it or not. It doesn't have to be Serious -- but it is being a couple.

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    • Thanks, this really helps. We do act like a couple and he's always making future plans (we should do *this* one day, etc.)... so it seems like he feels the same way. But he could still be seeing other people, and I just don't know. Eeek, I'm still nervous though haha!

    • So therefore it's not about whether or not you're going-out together -- it's whether you're going Steady or not. Since it's been 2 months, you can just:

      a) Ask him "Its been a couple months, and I just want to get this out of the way -- are you seeing anyone else, like, at All?" If he says no, then it makes (b) easier...

      b) Say that you're not trying to make anything big or super-serious or anything, but just to get it out of the way, you'd like to make it so that you both don't date other people, because at this point it'd just be complicated. You say it in a tone that you're just trying to get something Obvious out of the way.

      Heck, some people on a 1st or 2nd date will ask if they're seeING anyone else, as many people don't want to really have to deal with that and just want to get it out of the way.

      You, after 2 months and how you describe it -- you're not bringing up something very sensitive at ALL! :) It's just basic, just to get it out of the way.

  • When the time seems right (I know, when would that be?) just say it like you do in your question details. Something along the lines that you don't want to see anyone else, and you hope he feels the same way. I don't think that's invasive at all.

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    • Thanks! I wanted to know what other people thought, because this situation is making me more nervous than it should.. lol. I just need to get the courage to ask!! This weekend, let's hope I do it :)

  • What I'm about to tell you is very crucial here: Be straight forward! The guy won't be offended by any means. He can't read your mind! All you have to do is ask. He may even feel flattered or something that you're being loyal to him. If most girls would start being straightforward, then relationships would last a lot longer!!

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    • Oh I hope so... he's not a very 'in tune with his emotions' kind of guy so I'm nervous I might scare him bringing it up. But we are intimate, so I want to know for my own self too :) I wish guys would be straightforward too haha, it would make it easier on me ;) LOL, thanks! I'm still nervous but I'm staying over at his place this weekend for the first time, so I think it will be the best time to ask.

  • Just ask him

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just ask. It's not a big deal :)

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  • Say /im single r uou

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  • Ask him how many girls your talking too but say it in a joking way

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